The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat! 18 July 2017 at 8:29PM edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Old Style MoneySaving 11.7K replies 1.1M views

Softstuff

A more serious post than my usual:
I wonder if anyone has any suggestions. Mum is ageing poorly and is now hallucinating (early onset dementia?). She's still living in the family home in England, I'm her only family in Australia. A phone call this evening was terrible, I believe she's pretty delusional, but has lucid times too. She also seems (in a distance phone diagnosis) to have a chest infection.

She says she and the neighbour have been calling 111 to no avail (3 hour on hold??).

In any case, what the heck can I do from here to improve her life there? I rang a friend of hers, who is also concerned (she would have called me sooner, but mum never gave her my new number) and the only suggestion was to try contacting her GP. The thing is, I'm not even sure her GP will give a flying F (pardonnez le francais mais j'ai bu du brandy). Mum can't take care of herself in her own home, as is evidenced by me spending a couple of weeks there cleaning and tidying each week, apparently though that's getting worse (kitchen has full black bin sacks on the floor presently). I don't know what to do. I'm not about to move back, she can't come here... is there any agency who could help?

melodramaticme

Try Age Uk - www.ageuk.org.uk who are widespread and may have a local unit to your mother, and /or www.dementiauk.org
They may have slightly more specialist informaton available.

Islandmaid

softstuff how awful for you, I hope you can get things sorted x

My only suggestion would be phone the GP surgery, ask to speak to the practice manager and explain the situation- they must have some kind of experience with this situation, with families living further apart now, it must be something that's comes up - good luck Hun and virtual hugs to your mum too x

melodramaticme

It is definitely worth contacting the GP if you can, because sometimes an infection (often a urine infection) can worsen the symptoms of dementia.

SuzieC

Softstuff l second contacting the GP and getting your Mum checked out for a bladder infection. My great aunt was recently hospitalised with what we thought was some kind of dementia, turns out she had a UTI and this was causing her to behave very oddly.

camelot1001

Oh softstuff what a horrid situation. I would start with the GP and see what they can help with. They must come across this regularly, hope they can help.

I'm here in Chester visiting family and staying with my Aunt, we've had folk to visit but nothing on this afternoon, I may die of boredom or be talked to death!

nursemaggie

Hi softstuff The other charities you have been given are good but I think this may get someone out to see her within a few hours. The Red Cross have emergency cover. They will help in any crisis not just the big stuff.

https://www.redcross.org.uk

Islandmaid

Just popping back into to say :j:jThe 'proper' Willie Wonka is on TV - Easter is complete :j:j

MMF007

Oh Softstuff, how worrying for you. Yep, defo get your mum checked for infection, that can produce dementia type symptoms in even reasobly well people later in life.
Social services should have an emergency number / email for reporting the circumstances of vulnerable adults. If your mum is a danger to herself because of her mental capacity they may be able to set wheels in motion. If infection clears it maybe that your mum can engage with you over the phone and she may (but that is a big 'may') be open to thinking about outside help.
Social services should certainly be offering to do a needs assesment and a care package appropriate to those needs - maybe at least a visit once a day to make sure she takes any meds, etc.

My folks were only 9 hours drive away, within the UK, but I still felt pretty helpless at times so my heart goes out to you now x I really hope you can get the help that is needed.

MMF007

camelot1001 wrote: »

Oh softstuff what a horrid situation. I would start with the GP and see what they can help with. They must come across this regularly, hope they can help.

I'm here in Chester visiting family and staying with my Aunt, we've had folk to visit but nothing on this afternoon, I may die of boredom or be talked to death!

Camelot, I was born a few miles from Chester, went to school nearby and worked right in the city centre for several years. I loved it! Hope you get chance to explore and enjoy the area

Welcome back SuzieC!