The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

[Deleted User]

The Gods must be feeling benign, PM received, thanks lovey xxx.

nursemaggie

Wow I'm out of breath. Everything goes calm and then off we go again with another problem.

I did come on the thread not long after VJsmum posted. I sat and looked at it for ten minutes. I absolutely empathise with this one. All three of mine have smoked. I think my older son it was just a few days because everyone else smoked and you can't smell it if you smoke as well.

I think you would have smelled it when he came home because no student comes home without washing. You can't hide that especially if it has been in a confined space.

I am hoping like my eldest son he just tried few days realised it does not take long to get addicted and stopped straight away. The money is the best way at his age.

My DD smokes. She did not start until finals at uni. She was always a worrier about exams. Someone gave her a cigarette while she was studying for finals. She promised she would stop after the exam. She still smokes and she is 45. It either happens or it doesn't. There is nothing you can do once they are adults but hope.

I am highly relieved DS gave up last year. It was the lack of money.

Don't keep nagging about it. It will drive him away. Man has a rebellious streak a mile wide. It starts at two and they keep doing it. It's never as strong as against parents after about 25 but it is always there.

If you do smell it on his clothes or him just let him know you know. That is all you can do. Hopefully he can remember how ill his grandma was and the money thing bothers him. You could cut his allowance and take food with you every time you go visit him and send him back with food when he visits you.

fuddle I cant stand porridge either. Makes me retch with every mouthful. You could try muesli. You need jumbo rolled oats again, it does not work with porridge oats. You are more likely to get them in an independent health food shop. you can use any fruit you like, any seeds you like, any nuts you like. I have my oats and add different things every day. You can use frozen fruit. If you just take the fruit you need out of the freezer before you do anything it will be defrosted by the time you have added everything else. There is an amazing amount of dried fruit these days.

We can't get an appointment to see that flat today so he has booked next Tuesday. We do have a problem as he was told he may need a guarantor because he has not worked long and he does not pay any regular bills.

I think between us we can pay six months in advance. I hope that will be OK. There are plenty of flats in town.

Jazee

Fuddle, I'm another one who can't bear porridge.

I put a couple of tablespoons of muesli in a posh glass, top with 3 tbsp of yoghurt and then a fruit topping. Feels quite decandent for breakfast.

Floss

Fuddle I sometime have overnight oats made with yogurt, adding a little honey & fresh rasps or strawbs if the plot is producing

[Deleted User]

FUDDLE if you want something relatively healthy to do with oats there is a sugar free Date and Banana Flapjack recipe on the Good To Know website which would be very nice to have for breakfast. If you google low sugar flapjack recipe there are loads with varying component parts but the good to know one is sugar free, might be some use?

juliettet

I think the biggest problem regarding healthy eating is that the guidelines change so much. I read Pure White and Deadly regarding the evils of sugar when I was at school in the late Seventies. It scared me and I made my Mum's life hell overseeing her cooking until she quite rightly told me to cook for myself. We are all so different but if I miss breakfast I feel sick. At the weekend if I have egg, toast & beans etc I find I don't need lunch. Also low fat foods are loaded with sugar to make them palatable. It is a minefield.

pollyanna_26

Thanks Lyn for pm no2 . I am now near full capacity re pms so need to do some clearing .
Nanny Ogg and Esme Weatherwax to you and yours also
polly x

mrsmac10

karcher wrote: »

Oh you've made me cry..MMF thank you x

I have done much of what you have suggested already but I am banging my head against a brick wall, read male chauvinistic woman hater: How can a woman possibly do this job better than a man?

I have detailed my case and put it out there only to be told I wasn't allowed to?

Thank you MMF xxx yours is exactly the support I need so I don't give up and continue to fight my corner. Thank you xx

I see you have been referred to CAB Try ACAS Free service and may give to more ideas what to ask CAB I know we have a wait here for answers

pollyanna_26

NM I'm sure your son will be ok re the tenancy , Many landlords start new tenancies with a six month contract to suss out the reliability re rent payments ,
Six months up front should clear the hurdle and as your son will set up his own utility bills will begin to build a credit history .
Let's hope as you say these flats were waiting as they do seem to sound suitable for each of you as individuals .
polly x

nursemaggie

Polly your 10 years behind me I have done it twice plus a full year. I have a very small income but I have savings. I have let it go up too much at the moment.

It does give me a problem because if I move I need to re apply for Housing benefit again. I will really need it this time because you pay more for a 1 bed flat in sheltered housing than you do for a 4 bed house on the private market. As far as I can tell this council transferred it's sheltered housing to social services when they made the Housing Association. I may have problems.

The trouble with benefits is they count every penny you have and ignore the £1000 worth of bills you have to pay in the next week or that you need to eat quite a few times before next payday. I think there should be 1 months income disregared for day to day expenses but they count every last penny as Capital. They want to see your bank statements and they ask you everything you have bought that your statement does not tell them what it is, if it's more than about £150.

They will see a check made out to someone they have never heard of and they will say if you can afford to pay six months rent for your son you can afford to pay your rent.

Can anyone think of a necessity that would cost me £2800. I want him to keep it and save it towards buying a flat or house. I will have to have a solicitor now for my will because I can hardly give him that without giving the other two. It will have to come out of his inheritance, if I have any left.

I can sort of see why you don't want to apply for benefits Hester they do pry a lot but after a few years they don't even bother looking at your bank account because they think you don't have enough income to put it back. I have way under spent this last year. I suppose I can have new furniture. They will not come and look.