The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

VJsmum

Thanks Ivyleaf and Monna

Yes, DS is 18 - 19 on Sunday. He went to uni last September and it hasn't been the ball he was expecting - living in halls has been tough and there has been lots of rows with hall mates.

We picked him up from football the day he wrote the car off and he smelled of cigarettes - but said people around him were smoking. I didn't believe him but thought he'd maybe had a puff or two (or more) in reaction to the shock. I challenged him and he denied it - so i am partly furious with him for lying. I haven't smelled it on him since even though he's been home quite a bit.

I guess i also remember the little boy so distressed at his Nanny's health and who said "I am never smoking if that's what it does to you" and my mum's "well, that's something good to come out of it then"

I know they grow up, they have to find their feet - i was a smoker myself for a while and so was OH (who thinks it's just a phase). He is very anti drugs - has chucked people out of the uni flat for doing drugs. I think I am also cross that we are clearly giving him too much money - so i might think about addressing it that way, I don't want to enable him to do it.

On a further note - HAVE YOU SEEN THE PRICE OF CIGARETTES :eek::eek: Jeez, I can't believe anyone still does it...

pollyanna_26

Vjsmum A 20 a day smoker can be paying £50 . Your son has hopefully tried the habit and decided against it .

It can be stressful sharing with strangers so hopefully if he did try a few cigs it was more trying to calm down than anything .

I lost my dad in the 60s to lung cancer and my lot were made aware of that . Didn't stop my son smoking but you can only do what you can .

NM I'm glad you and your son have found the answer to your housing needs . In my clumsy way that what I was suggesting when speaking of sheltered housing and your son finding his own home .

It should be good for you both . Your cooking and fitting the day around his working times will be no longer needed . He will learn to take care of himself .

You may find a few nice neighbours and engage with the church you mentioned . I've got visions of you joining or starting a knit and natter group . Good luck to you both x

Hester I'm assuming the black bottom is for the boat . Mind you it could be a moneysaving underwear solution .
I hope your dd has managed to sort the job coaching situation out .
polly x

[Deleted User]

So true MONNA but I try to fight that inner voice and actually stave it off by 'doing' something even if it's only a walk round the block in the sun. I do find though that not eating breakfast after losing the amount I did leaves you running on empty by about a quarter to twelve and we have been known to lunch at 12 to 12.15 a few times. It's the only way that keeps the excess off for me, if I go to three meals a day I 'blob' and I LIKE apples! xxx.

pollyanna_26

Fuds Busy isn't always good . It can be a learned behaviour to distract you from real life . You've kept yourself busy through the years but right now you need to factor in the need to find a balance .

Do you know when the MRI will be ? If you haven't a date yet that will be lack of control in your head . I'm a lot older than you love but I do get frustrated when someone else is calling the shots .

You're right about the weather etc we'll all be wishing for brighter sunnier days . We of little patience are a bit Eeyore at the moment .

Look ahead to time in Scotland , days out with the family and life on the lottie . Much to look forward too . Next week the clocks go forward and that always makes me happier .

I've been wondering about Mr pea shoot . Don't be surprised if he produces strong plants ( courtesy of the local garden centre ) and gives a triumphant glance in your direction . Ask me how I know that .

Learn to love your porridge , it's helping you .

polly xxxx

monnagran

Lyn, you are spot on. Doing something else does stop you nibbling, temporarily at least. The real trouble starts when you realise that these cravings NEVER go away and you are condemned to these inward struggles for the rest of your life. You have started on a lifetime of vigilance and assessing every mouthful you take.

I started my first diet at the age of 16 (from my mum's Womans Own). In the 63 years since I have waged an internal battle with food. It is so wearisome.

I also have only 2 meals a day, in my case breakfast and lunch and have almost managed to keep off the weight I lost couple of years ago.. It does yoyo up and down a bit.
You did so well losing the weight you did, but without wishing to burst your bubble, it gets harder and it's for the rest of your life.

I am the opposite in the spectrum of anorexia but food is my enemy. I crave for it, but guilt accompanies every mouthful.

That is quite enough soul baring for one day.

Softstuff

mardatha wrote: »

BigJenny you're out of date pet. We haven't got an elephant. I ettit.
Monna and Softstuff - I do eat low carb and I try to eat low sugar. This is the problem lol. DEPRIVATION!

At least efferlump is low carb :rotfl:

I think the key to eating low carb, no added sugar, is to up the fats. Stops you feeling hungry as Dr Mosley says and frankly if I've got my double cream and cheese, I can make do.

I've always been a good eater. The problem is, I love food. I know a lot of people say that, but for me it's an entire hobby and lifestyle. I love to cook it, eat it, go out for it. There isn't a world cuisine I haven't loved to read about and cook (Kazakh bread anyone??). Food is what I do and for me, feeding folk is love. I read a cookbook like other people read gossip mags. So my only hope to deal with this, is to treat is as a personal challenge and a new interest. Carb free ice cream, yup, I figured that out, just waiting for the maker. Waffles with no flour, sugar and milk? Sure, got that covered. I calorie, carb, protein and fat itemised an entire lasagne substitute I cooked last night made with aubergine, and t'was delicious if I do say so myself. So I reckon I can do this. Frankly, had it not been for hot kitchens (I have a ridiculously low temperature tolerance) I'd have been a chef.

VJsmum, I can offer not much in the way of advice. I was the stupid 18 year old who started smoking at uni All I can say is, hopefully the price and self realisation will stop him.

Hester, I've never had my bottom blacked, but if it's fun I'll suggest it to the hubby for the weekend.

Fuddle, get thee to that allotment. Even if it's too chilly for work, sit rugged up and ponder what you'll do come spring. Visualising the garden is a wonderful pastime. And porridge is not compulsory. The only way I could tolerate that is smothered in cream and golden syrup. Which sort of misses the point. How about overnight oats instead? Rolled oats or steel cut oats (those are chewier) soaked in water or milk of your choice overnight, then mixed in the morning with a couple of spoonfuls of greek yoghurt, maybe some frozen berries and some nuts or seeds? I really enjoy this, it doesn't have the "I'm eating wallpaper paste" texture of porridge at all, but all the same benefits.

Karcher, I can only echo what's been said already. Just know you have one heck of a team here behind you cheering you on. Monna, get your pompoms out.

juliettet

Strong post here Burtha. Set in concrete.
Fuddle, I hate porridge, It is the warm milk. I soak jumbo oats in milk overnight in the fridge in a glass jar. Add fruit, current favourite raspberries and take to work. Fills me up until 1pm. Hundreds of different things can be added.

silvasava

VJsmum - my son has just decided to stop smoking - he was 50 in January!! I do hope he keeps it up. I've never made a fuss but he knows I dont like it for health reasons and the cost. Like Monna - you may as well roll up fivers and burn them!
Just had the mail delivered and I have an appointment next month for an angiogram - mixed feelings. Part of me is thinking I'm on the slippery slope and the other part is saying better the devil you know!! Ah well - Que sera. No good worrying about something I cannot do anything about at the moment.
I am now off to do something REALLY exciting.........hoover and dust downstairs and wash the kitchen floor - I can hardly contain myself

Karcher & Burtha - thinking of you both & hoping for some moment of calm for you.

ps: I was doing OK 'till you lot started talking about food - now I want toast and peanut butter!

pollyanna_26

Please never suggest monna gets her pom poms out again

The next person to do so may be replacing my laptop which I've had to mop a mouthful of tea from . We need a warning signal for black bottoms and pompoms .

I wonder how you keep going monna on two meals early in the day . I did training in nutrition and that style of eating can cause the body to store fat due to a large interval between food . It goes into survival mode .

I love my porridge , can't bear it made with milk . I use organic jumbo oats , water and a tiny pinch of salt , the Scottish way . I do put some milk on after cooking and confess to a weakness to Golden Syrup but only now and then when I'm feeling norty .
polly

fuddle

Silvasava I know what you mean about the slippery slope feeling but I agree that it's better we know, the brainy doctor folk know, and then we can have help in a field that has so much research connected to it. We're both at the start and I think the slippery slope feelings are normal (quite a dark place here Silva so I'm guessing you too x) but we have been caught early and now with knowledge, lifestyle and some meds we can live the rest of our lives not adding to the damage. It's a scary time but in 10 years we'll be higher up that slope than if we didn't experience this right now. Thinking of you, more than you actually realise. x

I don't know when the MRI is going to be Polly, no. I'm impatient to find out and then deal with it. The not knowing bothers me.

Noted re: porridge. I shall try overnight oats

I know Burtha lives in my county but we never really spoke outside the thread. I wish I had now.