The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

silvasava

Mardatha - I got snow!!! Prima Donna cat is ecstatic ( she's a Siberian and loves snow and rain) wondered why she came in about 5.30am wet and squeaking at me.
I've definitely had a Christmas of two parts. Two weeks before I got a chest infection - anti B's didn't seem to work and I was feeling more and more awful until Saturday morning when I couldn't breathe. Queue DH calling paramedics and me in hospital on drip and oxygen while they sorted me out! My local hospital has had a lot of stick lately for waiting times inA&E but although I was in the corridor for a couple of hours I was checked and monitored frequently. It was manic with everyone doing as much as they could to give others a hand as well as their own jobs. I was taken for an ECG and a woman in the next area was screaming and swearing, really abusive - DH said they had 3 security guys in with her! I stayed overnight they sorted my meds and I came home about 7.30 on Christmas Eve. Needless to say cannot praise the teams enough - I was dealt with quickly, professionally and with kindness and good humour. How do they carry on??
Christmas day was with DS1 and boxing day with DS2 DiL and DGD so I've done B all!! ( It was previously arranged this year) Drama over thank goodness.
Thinking of you all - especially MMF, VJsmum and Burtha xxx

Jazee

Glad you're on the mend Silvasava.
Monna - thanks for the thought for the day. The inner voice is the one telling me NOT to turn into my mother!

Righto, time to venture out in the cold with the dogs.

maryb

Ditto Jazee. My low points have always been when I've been tired and cross shouting at my DDs and heard my mother's voice

You've done amazingly well on your 12K challenge if I've understood your signature right:T

Jazee

Thank you MaryB on the savings comment. Managed to exceed what I'd hoped for and although some has now gone on wedding costs there is still just over £12k in the bank. The richest I've ever been in my life and when I joined MSE we were £50k in debt.

Not sure what next year will bring though, am currently considering taking redundancy.

thriftmonster

Wonder C - hugs to you.

I haven't been around for a while as (a bit like Burtha) at the end of October my (not so) dh told me that we didn't have anything in common and that he thought we should separate. This is after 29 years together and 26 years of marriage - completely out of the blue.

My kids are 18 and 22 and are ok and I went to my boss and immediately arranged to work full time but my mother has not stopped going on about how it's affecting her and how she feels etc..... I don't know why I ever expected anything else.

Meanwhile we're all spending Christmas at my sisters including nsdh and he's surprised when it's not completely normal...

I am hanging on to the thought of getting my own small place and rearranging the rest of my life to suit me - whilst nsdh looks totally miserable - not sure what he thought would happen.

So hugs to everyone who's having a hard Christmas - you have made me all realise I'm actually pretty lucky

Islandmaid

Jazee that’s incredible x

Just popping in to pass on virtual (Hugs) to those that need them.

WonderC another one with a pants Mum here, no matter how had I tried, I could not do enough to win her approval, so I stopped trying - it was my 50th just before Xmas and she popped round (first time I have seen her since March when I popped in a mother’s day gift) - she bought me a scarf, gratefully received, even though it something that I would never wear - my younger sister and family, apparently received a fortnight in France for Xmas from her - hey ho at least she made an effort...... I am genuinely past caring, the one thing I know it’s taught me to appreciate all 3 of my kids for their individual merits and not pick one over the other x

We are enjoying our break from work, but putting on lbs - will deal with that in the new year x

Stay safe and warm all x

Thriftmonster Sorry Hun, I missed your post x Big hugs and I hope your new chapter is a happy one x

Sayschezza

As a mum and grandmother I am more than horrified at the way some of you have been treated. It would have never have occured to my mum to treat any of us any different and that’s with me being the adopted one of the family. Neither would I ever treat any of mine differently. Maybe a happy childhood helps but as an adult childhood shouldn’t colour our world once it’s been left behind. Can only apologise on behalf of my generation and send you all love from today and for ever.

MMF007

Blimey, Thriftmonster, that must have been a shock!
I really like it that you planning on rearranging your life to suit you :T :beer:

Sometimes 'stuck in a rut' leads to the 'grass is always greener' notion. Mid-life crisis, time to do something before it's too late, etc. It takes a wise person to realise that you can do more / different things with a person you have lived with for a lot of years, you just have to put some thought into it, appreciate what you do have and plan some changes to improve what's lacking.
I am wondering why nsdh spent xmas with you at soon to be ex-sil's. Perhaps he doesn't really want to break up, he just wants 'more' out of life? Anyhoo, you are right to plan for yourself.
Well done on sorting out full time work. Sounds to me like you have your head together. Go you!

Hope Burtha and the kids managed to find some enjoyment over xmas. x

karcher

Oh so many with so many troubles, my heart goes out to you all it really does.

Thriftmonster I'm sorry to hear your news and I wish you all the best for your new future xx

Burtha thinking of you and I hope you are as ok as you can be xx

Silvasaver so sorry you have been so poorly. Hat's off to the NHS and I'm glad you're on the mend xx

Hester whatever has happened I hope things calm down soon xx

MMF you and your family are in my thoughts xx

To all of you with narcissistic mothers, I share your pain.

I hope I haven't missed anyone out and I hope you are all doing as well as can be.

I am also a bit concerned about a 'Daily' poster who hasn't posted since xmas day which is unusual, so Hollyharvey if you are reading, I hope you are ok xx

Take good care all x

thriftmonster

Thank you for all the good wishes - that means so much.

It seems to be some sort of mid life crisis because if it's an affair he's not very happy :cool:

As far as I can tell he wants to live together but as friends only so he gets the emotional support from me etc but doesn't have to input anything back into the relationship. Sorry but that is not going to happen. That has been going on for ages but I have hung on in there.

But now he's called it a day, once I get past the anger and pride, I am moving forward. I'm actually a bit worried for him - we've been together and friends for nearly 30 years and he doesn't have the support network I do - he has me and his best friend who isn't currently talking to him because of this.

Sorry to vent when there are people with really ill parents and other issues. It's just been a bit of a shock.