The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

fuddle

Polly thank goodness you're ok, although I realise you're not ok. We need the spring quick sharpish eh? You have been missed my friend. Take care, take it easy and feet up y'hear?

MMF007

Yesterday my dad began to look poorly. Until now he has looked wierdly fine!
My brother and SIL flew up, I wanred DB about dad but on visiting DB said he didn't look bad.
They visited this morning on their way home and rang to say dad has deteriorated, although still conscious, very tired and does look poorly.
Mum and I are about to agree an action plan. There is only us able to visit now because other folks are a long way away and too infirm to travel. Mum can't drive atm, it's 20 miles each way somthat's dow to me we shall be there together (although I will go in on my own ifmI can get mum to rest.. I don't think we can possibly do long stints with him. We have been at it for nearly 5 weeks and are pretty tired now. I just need to make sure we are in agreement with coming home to eat n rest, rather than trying to be there throughout. The nurses have been very good at encouraging sensible behaviour, having seen it all before.

We have packed some essentials and are about to head off, just waiting for a repairman to finish a small but important job.

nursemaggie

MMF007 is there somewhere you could both have a nap you must both be exhausted. I doubt you could persuade your mum not to want to be there.

I presume with it being a cottage hospital there is no food. I would take it with you.

fuddle

MMF my thoughts are with you because the practicalities and exhaustion will be driving you and leaving you no time for emotion. I feel your 'matter of fact we just have to get through this' kind of tone and it might help you to know that even when palliative care is delivered in the home, family members appear to have the same stoic (for want of a kinder word) determination to be strong to just get themselves, and their dear loved one, to peace. No words will help you MMF but we're all here, many of us understanding even just snippets of what you're going through and we're supporting you every step of the way.

VJs I do hope you're coping and that the grieving process is protecting you while it does it's thing.

VJsmum

Oh MMF - i really do feel for you.

Thanks, Fuddle (and everyone), I am OK. i am being sensible and taking care of myself - eating, sleeping etc. I am struggling to concentrate but I am going with that too.

Just trying to make sure everyone has a nice christmas now...

pollyanna_26

fuddle wrote: »

MMF my thoughts are with you because the practicalities and exhaustion will be driving you and leaving you no time for emotion. I feel your 'matter of fact we just have to get through this' kind of tone and it might help you to know that even when palliative care is delivered in the home, family members appear to have the same stoic (for want of a kinder word) determination to be strong to just get themselves, and their dear loved one, to peace. No words will help you MMF but we're all here, many of us understanding even just snippets of what you're going through and we're supporting you every step of the way.

VJs I do hope you're coping and that the grieving process is protecting you while it does it's thing.

I don't think I can express things better than Fuds .
Love and strength to you and mum MMF and try to get some sort of rest between visits , you need to take care of you as well as others . All the driving is hard when you're mentally and physically drained . xx

VJ The lack of concentration is part of the process . You will still be in shock after the speed of events . In my experience our minds detach in a way for a while until we can process things . It doesn't stop the mind whirling at times though . I recall feeling numb and icy cold inside whatever the time of year .
Don't knock yourself out trying to do the perfect Christmas , just be together and that's enough . xx

polly

pollyanna_26

Thank you dearest Fuds . Everyone will be pleased to hear I'm not quite back to my usual pondering self so wont be leading us all on mad musings ( well not for a few days anyway ! )

Best thing I've read is you now have that Named Doctor I've wished and hoped for over many months for you . Like us you have the best of them so things should be much less stressful in future should you need things sorted .

I'll join you wishing for Spring . We've reached the Solstice and will slowly creep back towards the light and longer days . I lit the candles last night for the first time in a couple of weeks . I lit one for someone one morning and fell asleep for a few hours , luckily no problem but I never leave a lit candle alone normally . Anyway normal service is resumed now . xxxx

Thank you too ivyleaf . I hope you can have fond and warm memories of your brother . If you sent flowers to his wife I imagine she'll be pleased far more than by a C Card . x

Silvasava Hope those strong ABs mean you soon feel a lot better . I'm not one for meds but had to give in as this Super Virus was the gift that keeps on giving . Is it any comfort to know that not a bauble , bell or tree is done here . Cards were sent via another family member and luckily presents had been bought in advance apart from a couple .
Tomorrow dd and I need to face the nearby town and we aren't looking forward to it . x

Monna As above , nothing is glittered , maybe I'll pinch your idea from a few years ago and glitter the cobwebs instead .
I shall await your report of Pickle's performance , lord help you all !
x

polly

fuddle

I have to dash but, as usual, Polly your memory astounds me...

How on earth did you manage to remember that monna glitters cobwebs?! :eek: :rotfl:

Much love

pollyanna_26

I remember laughing out loud when she wrote that post ! My problem is long term memory is pretty good but with the Fibro not so good until it lodges in my mind sometime later . Told you i was strange
x

Pooky

chickens11 wrote: »

Have any of you been to " winter wonderland London "...?, if so could you tell me what its like and the price please....Many thanks ladies ...sheila

I’ve been a few times and really enjoyed it but I do appreciate it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Entry to the park is free and then you pay for rides (I didn’t go for rides) and you have to prebook for things like ice skating, circus, ice palace (but they are probably sold out now).

There’s a large selection of food and gift market stalls and the atmosphere is always really festive and cheery.

It can get silly busy though so be warned.

Hope that helps