The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

VJsmum

Greetings all. We got "the call" this afternoon and after a four hour drive down the motorway i am now at his bedside.

We have been told that it could be hours or days but no longer. He is sleeping peacefully. He seems unaware of everything around him. Two of us have now gone to get some sleep and will rellieve those of us staying in the morning.

I am ok but feel desperately sad. Even though I know that it is his time. It's just been so quick.. on Monday all he had was a dicky knee

pollyanna_26

Love and hugs to you all and a gentle passing to your dad .
polly x

karcher

NM such good news re the cancer x

Re the money, not good news and I hope you can make 'them' see sense.

Ivy sorry to read about your fall, I hope your bruises heal soon and welcome home x

((hugs)) MMF ...so, so sorry for you xx

Take care all..life ain't easy at times...but the support on this thread is invaluable; so don't any of you lot go running off into the wide/wild blue yonder on a random heffalump!! ..your advice/ramblings (delete as necessary) are required here

xx

ETA VJsmum thinking of you and ((hugs)) xx

pollyanna_26

Are you ok Karcher ? I've got a lot to catch up on .

I'll be in the ramblings group although I call them ponderings , somehow they don't sound so vague and batty if I call them that .

VJsmum . I hope you can take comfort that your dad with not have along prolonged time ahead . His pain will be managed and he may slip away gently . I was 15 when i lost my lovely dad near Christmas many years ago now . The time will come when you can remember the good things and be glad he was in your life .

pollyx

karcher

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Are you ok Karcher ? I've got a lot to catch up on .

I'll be in the ramblings group although I call them ponderings , somehow they don't sound so vague and batty if I call them that .

VJsmum . I hope you can take comfort that your dad with not have along prolonged time ahead . His pain will be managed and he may slip away gently . I was 15 when i lost my lovely dad near Christmas many years ago now . The time will come when you can remember the good things and be glad he was in your life .

pollyx

Hi Polly, how are you doing?
You most certainly never ramble: you are always considered, thoughtful and make a lot of sense

As for me, I'm just muddling along, taking each day as I find it with no expectations.

I am right now just thinking of those who are facing very sad times and my heart really goes out to them x

monnagran

@ VJsmum, you are not only dealing with grief you are probably in shock as well. As you say, Monday your Dad had a bad knee and on Friday you are facing losing him. You've had no time to adjust. Be very, very gentle with yourself, there is a small army out here hugging you with thoughts and prayers, you are never alone.

MMF, I know it's quite inappropriate but I can't help an inward grin at your Dad. Either it is the medication talking or it is lack of oxygen to the brain, or, and I suspect this is really the case, he has always been like this and is now being more so. Your poor .mum though!
When you are on your own with him could you not say to him something along the lines of, "Of course, Mum has always been so good, she has been wonderful in the way she looked after us all." Then, if he doesn't flatly contradict you or throw a tantrum, this can be reported to your Mum as, "Dad will never say this in front of you, but he has let me know that he thinks you are wonderful."
It's stretching the truth a tad but I think it may lift your Mum a little. Poor lady, she deserves some comfort.
As for you, give yourself a break when you can. You are being strong for both of them but you have to get strength from somewhere too. The same goes for you as it does for VJsmum, the army is out here willing you on.

If you want ramblings karcher, look no further, and not only ramblings, but batty ramblings at that.
What else do you expect at this hour of the night? Einstein?

One of my hot patches has sprung a leak. It's furry cover has worn away and disgorged a load of what looks like mustard seeds all over the bedroom floor. Hardly surprising, I've had it for years and it doesn't owe me a thing.
In view of the weather forecast an urgent order from Am*z*n will be placed immediately.

Oven door.....hot patch.....what next?

VJsmum

Thank you monna. I have two of my brothers here but we are all dozing on and off. It's a long night for sure..

MMF my sister said that pretty much the last thing dad said before he fell asleep was to tell them to bu88er off :rotfl:

Given that it may be some days we are relaying at the bedside so he is never alone..

I wish i could stop shaking..

Jazee

Morning all. I’ve been lurking but not posting much.

Just wanted to say that those of you coping with so much at the moment are always in my thoughts.

Floss

VJsmum big Blackpool hugs are on their way to you & yours. Been there, done that with my parents & secondaries. Be sure to give yourselves a little TLC during this time xx

MMF i was thinking along the same libes as Monna to give your mum some reassurance that your dad DOES acknowledge what she has done for him

mardatha

VJsmum, much love & light to you and the family, and a smooth easy passing for dad. He will be back with his parents and family gone before. When my dad passed I saw him back as a boy again, playing football on the beach with his brothers and he had such a huge grin on his face. After 6 years of dememtia I was happy to see him like that.
Sorry not been paying attention to posts lately, but I do know certain people are still accusing me of eating that elephant. It was not my fault that it climbed into my freezer! It would have been abuse of its human rights if I had tried to stop it :A