The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

mothernerd

Good morning everyone. It may be grey and miserable outside but there's sunshine in my heart. I decided to do a reverse advent calendar mainly for the food bank. Give away 1 thing on the first day, 2 on the second etc - except I just wrote 1 to 24 on labels and work out what to put in them as I go along. I'm taking all the things mum won't eat (including things she's now gone off for various reasons) either back to my house (boxing up ready but not moving them yet) or donating to the food bank. Meant to take donations sooner but hasn't really been the weather for it. 

It's part of the tortuous but exciting process of moving back home with some co-operation and some dragging of heels by my cohabitees (yesterday DS3 greeted me at the door by saying he'd messaged to say Not to go, as they 'couldn't cope with me') and banned me from going upstairs. They did thaw out a bit later.

The best bit is that I have given in, admitted to my 'frailties' (lots of housework tasks I've not been able to do either properly or regularly for over 5 years and struggled with before that) and we've called in the specialist cleaners. I described as being somewhere between a deep full house clean and a hoarders clean (ours isn't as bad as the 'hoarder' houses on their website but then I've spent about 3 weeks scraping as much as possible off the floor and processing lots of washing -a lot not really dirty but dusty from being on the floor). Some things have been binned, possibly not even in the right bins just in general rubbish, because at a certain point (or level of 'contamination) I stop trying to sort through and just bag it and throw it in the yard (DS3 has been putting many many bags out on black bin day and the binmen have taken them all).

They have joined in quite enthusiastically at times - DS3 finally agreed to part with 2 large shoe box sized hoards of collecting/ playing cards, a keyboard (made the soundtrack for one of his own games but not done much with it since) and 6 cosplay outfits (but there are still 3 racks full of outfits sigh). So on Thursday we are having three women (not sexist, I was told they would be women) for 8 hours and it is horrendously expensive but much needed.

DS3 said it seemed reasonable until I said he was paying and then he started to argue for just having the bathroom and kitchen done (they would have continued to slob in the bedroom and the living room - I have discussed a plan with Beloved to shoe-horn him back into the same bedroom as him) so I offered to go halves. I need this done and he has paid advance rent until May next year. DS3 paid and I sent half from my bank account to his - his bank stopped the payment and phoned to check that he was not the victim of a scam.

He's not spent much recently apart from replacing his socks and underpants (this used to be my job so saved a fortune there, he needs big size socks so always a special buy). Most of his old socks and underpants have been used for dusting and getting the worst of the grot off the bathroom floor - wet it, wipe it, bin it. I must emphasize that they are both fairly clean but there have been slow under the bath leaks and problems with the drains (not their fault). They are very messy and DS3 in particular still believes in fairies (including the one who deals with all the toilet roll middles).

When she moved in, I hoped Beloved would help me get him in line, but she's descended to his level of slobdom. I understand all too well what it's like when you're overwhelmed and everything takes far too much effort, so I'm trying to very gentle. I started by deciding not to expect any help and it's a joy when they do join in. Last week Beloved told him they had more than enough quilts and a single in good condition went in the donations bag and a horrid one was binned.

I want to get the waste wizard organised, if at all possible before the cleaners come. I also think we could do with losing one or two pieces of furniture from each room. I've decide to let 2 beautiful mirrors go. One was fastened to the back of my sideboard and did not fare well in either the move to the big house or back to this house (it's been hidden for safety in the 7 years we've been back here but I don't have anywhere to put it and haven't found any solution to how I use it. The other is much older (I bought it when I first got the house 1980-82) and was the mirror from a dressing table. It used to hang in the vestibule (I ought to check what I look like before I leave the house) but again not managed to find a solution in the past 7 years (and the moulding was broken and bits lost somewhere in the 8 yeas prior to that)

Well I should get going, my troops will be eagerly awaiting their orders (I should cocoa).

MrsCD

Mothernerd, you have my sympathies, having to deal with that on top of everything else.
 I was told this morning by DH, that the freezer door was a little bit open this morning so he closed it. ... On inspection,  I've had to throw out almost a full 2l tub of ice cream, 2 ready meals and a few ice cream type lollies. We used up the slightly soft burgers for lunch. He is now doing penance by defrosting the whole freezer himself. I'm letting him get on with it. Trying to work out how to be 'mindful' or 'hygge' about it. So far my best effort has been not shouting or going in a huff. I think I'm doing quite well so far.

Hard_Up_Hester

Oh Mothernerd that's a lot to cope with.

MrsCD, WELL done on not shouting

burtha

oh gosh that sounds a lot to cope with mothernerd , hope your ok .. 

monna,  hope the hair dresser was a relaxing experience 

morning everyone.. 
I can't be bothered today   is that wrong lol ... 
lots to do, work grandkids day.. 
and finish off painting a bed .. 

enjoy your day x 

MrsCD

Burtha, ...painting a bed?????
The freezer eventually got switched back on late last night. That's how much ice had built up when it was trying to block the gap when the door was open. I had to put meat into DD's freezer as it was too long to stay in cooler bags but all seems ok now.  DH is very aware of what's involved in defrosting now! He reckons he hadn't known how long it takes. Shows how much notice he takes of what I'm doing in the background.

monnagran

burtha, the hairdressing was relaxing.  The only trouble was that it didn't last long enough, I was only having it trimmed so 15 minutes max.

I used to say that the hairdresser and the dentist were the only people in the world who sat me down in a chair and fussed round me.
It's still the same today.

burtha

morning 
bed .. yup. youngest dd bed broke the mattress is fine , so Monday I collected a pine one ,from a well known selling site for the grand sum of £5 .
2 coats of chalk paint done and need o wax it tonight.   total cost  about £15 .. 
she back from university  tomorrow  .. 

my frog is also traveling home today 

so I ran at 1 this morning,  today's busy .  I've only got about 60 miles to do to compleat running around the English coast started Jan 1st .. 
2970km
 ... 
fun 

must go to work now  
have to lovely day everyone  x

monnagran

You are completely mad burtha!  all that running.
If anyone ever catches me running, will they please kill whatever is chasing me.

I bet your DD will be thrilled with her new bed, and pleased to be at home.

The frog too.

Have a great time.

mothernerd

'C' day today - the cleaners are coming. Whatever happens (I already have one son not speaking to me and have been 'dis-invited' for Christmas Day) the house will be looking much better by the end of the day. The waste wizard is booked in for Monday afternoon to take away the growing pile of stuff in the backs. I might stay at my house over the weekend to continue shuffling furniture.

Will do a food delivery for during the week (if they have any slots left) and was already planning to cheat like mad, to make things as easy as possible for me. In attempt to eat well whilst barely able to stand up, I'll buy prepared veg (ready mash and posh parmentier potatoes, 5 veg medley in a bag that goes in the microwave) and save any available energy (not much left) for sorting my house (and making it beautiful - candles, twinkly lights and greenery) and boxed up exercise bike not in my front room.

Just realised my present from DS1 arrived yesterday (expected Friday). I asked for white hyacinth or a white cyclamen in a pot and he's bought one of each. Very beautiful (will have to explain to mum that they are mine and will be leaving with me).

Hope you all have a good day.

MrsCD

Hope you're ok mothernerd. Remember to take a few moments now and again for yourself.