The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

MadamMim2013

thriftmonster wrote: »

Delurking to say how pleased I am for you, Burtha, And so impressed that you're dipping your toe into the dating game - have some fun - you deserve it.

I second that.. its been over 4 years since I escaped and it’s taken a very long time to even feel like me, I’m still unsure if I could ever trust another human in that way, having your soul trampled makes you very wary..
I look for kindness and most importantly honesty, yet in a world of Tinder and POF, I am now even less inclined to dip my toe anywhere.. :eek:

monnagran

And I third it. I've come to the conclusion that I'm better off on my own, no one else to to step around, do what you want when you want, eat when and what you like, no one's ego to massage.
There are times when I wish I had someone to share things with, but like MM, I think I will always have trust issues.

[Deleted User]

I'm lucky, my first marriage ended out of the blue and it turned out that I knew nothing of the character of the man I married and was in ignorance of his activities which had been going on for the 6 years we were together BUT he actually did me the biggest favour of my life because I subsequently met HWK who is the best person I know in all ways except tidiness but that's a very small price to pay for being able to trust him completely. We laugh at each other, at ourselves and with each other, we share all aspects of life equally and he's my friend as well as my husband. At the time of the first break up I thought life had ended and how very wrong I was because that was only the beginning of so very much more than I could ever have envisaged xxx.

candygirl

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

I'm lucky, my first marriage ended out of the blue and it turned out that I knew nothing of the character of the man I married and was in ignorance of his activities which had been going on for the 6 years we were together BUT he actually did me the biggest favour of my life because I subsequently met HWK who is the best person I know in all ways except tidiness but that's a very small price to pay for being able to trust him completely. We laugh at each other, at ourselves and with each other, we share all aspects of life equally and he's my friend as well as my husband. At the time of the first break up I thought life had ended and how very wrong I was because that was only the beginning of so very much more than I could ever have envisaged xxx.

Aww that's so lovely hun After my last emotionally n physically abusive relationship, I'm very happy being single , n living in peace with the Furnutters:rotfl:

VJsmum

Oof, I've been hedgelaying all weekend. Am struggling to move right now. And i've hurt (in a very minor way) both hands so they're a bit painful....

So sorry for you who've had rotten relationships. I've been very lucky with OH (and he with me, i might add). We rub along well together but can allow each other our independence also to do the things we each like, but the other one doesn't. he's about to retire (April) and I am a bit apprehensive in how it will change things, but we'll sort it out.

pollyanna_26

I was thinking of you Lyn reading the recent posts also Wolfy, Hester and all those who ended up with the good guys in the end .


For my part I'm afraid the trust was lost when I sat worrying if I and my children would lose the roof over our heads . My mortgage and only my payments nothing from 2nd husband towards bills ever..


I vowed then I would never risk anyone controlling our lives again , I turned down 2 very good men over the years but trust once lost never came back . I don't regret it in hindsight and prefer to make my own choices . We are all different and are guided by our instincts and it never felt right to me . I spent years blaming myself for being such an idiot not to see through the ex . Nowadays I know lots of us get taken in but I didn't feel prepared to take the risk and put hard won freedom and security in jeopardy . We'd been through h*ll and weren't going there again .


Hope you get good news soon Monna .



I wouln't worry VJ it sounds as though you'll manage fine together . You give each other space and do your own things already so all should be well .


polly

pollyanna_26

I've been watching Les Mis and realised I forget to wish Csarina well for tomorrow . Welcome back to Cheapskate and it's good to see Thriftmonster .


I've struggled to keep up with the threads lately. Still looking for the answer to the insomnia that's haunted me for months . I know it will sort itself eventually but is hard not to focus on it near bedtime .


The snowdrops are out and the muscari . Other bulbs will flower soon so hoping spring will soon arrive . Meanwhile the resident and visiting birds are tapping on the windows and sucking their cheeks in pretending they're hungry .They are very well fed and considering they'd stripped the early berrying hollies well before Christmas it's lucky I'm still speaking to them .


Take care all
pollyx

thriftmonster

monnagran wrote: »

And I third it. I've come to the conclusion that I'm better off on my own, no one else to to step around, do what you want when you want, eat when and what you like, no one's ego to massage.
There are times when I wish I had someone to share things with, but like MM, I think I will always have trust issues.

I couldn't have put it better - brilliant as ever, Monna. Now it's over a year, people keep suggesting dating websites. I can't do it. I would really struggle to let anyone into my sanctuary on a regular basis - it's what I've created for me and the boys and the furbabies.


I am having a more amicable relationship with the ex - which is better for everyone. I decided in the end the only person I was hurting by holding on to the anger was me. Mind you it does help that I'm really happy and he's not - he has realised what he's thrown away (she says with a slightly evil grin)

mardatha

Nice to see your wee face back here Polly!

ivyleaf

I'm much further south than you, polly, but no muscari out yet! Perhaps it's because we're further east.

Been snowing here all evening. According to the Met Office, it's heavy rain.