The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

mardatha

I've been frantically knitting to finish some baby stuff. And now too tired to make sense lol

THIRZAH

I've also been knitting baby clothes and a blanket-DDs baby due this month.

silver-oldie

Hi
I don't post on this thread very often but I would be grateful for your thoughts and wise words.

Last Christmas DS, DiL and DGS invited us to visit them on Christmas Eve. I was very upset to read on f*cebook DiL had written she had P*xy inlaws visiting and she didn't know why she had to put up with us.

This year, if we get an invite, not sure we will, I don't want to go.
Do I say no thank you and make an excuse, a bit difficult as we never do much
Or
Do I tell them I saw what she had written and don't want to go where we are not wanted
DiL doesn't know I have a f*cebook account, never use it, but I'm a bit naughty and sometimes look just to see DGS.

Hard_Up_Hester

So sorry SO, I have no advice but have a hug.

silvasava

Oh SilverOldie - what a nasty thing to post on FB and how hurtful. If you get another invite I would be very tempted to ask if she really wanted her poxy in laws "cos if it's only out of a sense of duty don't bother.
Part of me wonders if it's just something she said very flippantly to her group of FB friends - bit immature? How is your relationship with DS & DiL during the year? If you don't see much of them and DGS it makes it doubly hard to bear - huge hugs

silver-oldie

silvasava wrote: »

Oh SilverOldie - what a nasty thing to post on FB and how hurtful. If you get another invite I would be very tempted to ask if she really wanted her poxy in laws "cos if it's only out of a sense of duty don't bother.
Part of me wonders if it's just something she said very flippantly to her group of FB friends - bit immature? How is your relationship with DS & DiL during the year? If you don't see much of them and DGS it makes it doubly hard to bear - huge hugs

I really do think it's how she feels, not the first unpleasant comment she has made about us on fb.
Only seen them once in the past 3 months

ivyleaf

Silver-oldie I remember your post last Christmas and felt so sorry. i don't know what to advise really. My MIL was a very difficult person (I thought for many years that it was just because she was my MIL, and didn't realise until much later that everyone found her difficult), but I have realised that there were times when I felt she was interfering when she was genuinely trying to help.

Might it be possible to talk to your DIL and ask what she feels the problem is, and see if you can start afresh? I do appreciate this is awkward when you don't understand why she thinks there's a problem in the first place.

But as OH used to say when there were disagreements at work, if someone feels there's a problem, then there's a problem.

silver-oldie

Thank you ivyleaf

I think you are right, but I don't like confrontation

If we are asked then I think I will have say I saw fb and ask what I have done wrong.

I'll invite them to spend time with us, they usually say no they're too busy, but I can hope.

mardatha

I'd have outed her. Nasty wee b*itch showing off on FB. I'd have copied and pasted it and put it on my son's page, saying why you werent going this year.
But then maybe I'm a nasty b*itch too. Although she started it lol

silver-oldie

Last year some one suggested getting p*xy in laws printed on tee shirts, thought that was brilliant. Not sure if I'd be brave enough to wear them