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The Nice People Thread, No.16: A Universe of Niceness.
Comments
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...With regard to the inappropriate behaviour of young boys, surely it has something to do with the way we parent them too?
The thing is, nobody's allowed to say somebody is a bad parent, nor chastise their darling... "boys will be boys" and all that. Stone throwing, hollering, pushing/shoving, fighting .... all "just boys being boys".
Who can say "No. That's over the line that is.... spank him for that. The beggar's got to learn he crossed a line".
You can't - and parents don't see/won't.
Kids misbehave most/more when they believe they are out of sight of their (even good) parents. Each time they misbehave they do something different/more... more naughty, more daring, just more. And the parents aren't there to see/will deny their cherub was anywhere near.
Having found the link to the programme, I did then watch it - father was watching his lad in the park and said to his wife "I don't like that boy he's with" and then went out to the park to catch him ... told him off in front of his friend, made him do pushups ... then dragged him home.
Parents don't often say "no" and halt poor behaviours these days.
In Ye Olden Days you might've been out of sight of your parents, but most people around you knew who you were and would tell you off, or tell your parents, who would tell you off. They'd know where you lived. Not so now - a society of fast-moving, fast-living strangers.
The only way to turn things back would be for all of them (not just some, as only the "good parents who really cared" would do it) ... but all of them to have 24/7 gadgets strapped to them showing where they are/what they're doing ... and parents willing to go out when they see poor behaviour and drag them home by the ear for a good old fashioned telling off.0 -
Or a compulsory microchip at birth, which can be removed on your 18th birthday if you haven't been up before the beak for anything.
(I just lurve spiders!)
INFJ(Turbulent).
Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
I love :eek:0 -
I never thought I'd ever say this, but maybe there's something to be said for all-girls' schools after all.
They wouldn't have to put up with all that carp during the day at least.
The secondary school DGD is most likely to get a place in is a girl's school, but then at 6th Form they merge with the boys' school her brother goes to! And the one she likes best, but is probably unlikely to be offered a place at, is also a girls' school but doesn't have a 6th Form, they have to go elsewhere.
Lydia DD1's school was quite sensible; they wore deep cream blouses for the first 2 years, then blue. it's actually the school DGD would most like to go to, but the younger girls wear white shirts now.
The co-ed one DD2 went to still has white shirts.0 -
White polo shirts are probably thick enough. Kids primary school changed to blue shirts for years 5 & 6 (age 10 & 11) for that reason.I never thought I'd ever say this, but maybe there's something to be said for all-girls' schools after all.
At DS1's all boys school, it was known that girls gathered at their school gates for after school banter & more. It was always the girls came to the boys gate rather than vice versa, a good 10 minutes walk.I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
We have been oop north for the weekend, awful weather driving up, while we were there and driving back.
It's been an awful week, 3 friends diagnosed with cancer this week, all in their mid 50s. Actually one is a relapse of a cancer from 2 years ago that they decided to keep quiet about; the outlook isn't good.I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
We have been oop north for the weekend, awful weather driving up, while we were there and driving back.
It's been an awful week, 3 friends diagnosed with cancer this week, all in their mid 50s. Actually one is a relapse of a cancer from 2 years ago that they decided to keep quiet about; the outlook isn't good.
((((((((((silvercar))))))))))(I just lurve spiders!)
INFJ(Turbulent).
Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
I love :eek:0 -
I never thought I'd ever say this, but maybe there's something to be said for all-girls' schools after all.
They wouldn't have to put up with all that carp during the day at least.
That's why DD asked to go to an all girls' school. She was already on the receiving end of "all that carp" from some of the boys at her primary school.At DS1's all boys school, it was known that girls gathered at their school gates for after school banter & more. It was always the girls came to the boys gate rather than vice versa, a good 10 minutes walk.
Of course. Girls that age are interested in boys. They want the boys to like them and to pay them attention. That doesn't mean they want to give them all blow jobs, but they often do - either because they consider it a price worth paying to get the boy's attention, or because they didn't realise what the expectation would be until it feels like it's too late to back out, or because they've seen other girls get labelled frigid and don't want to suffer the same fate, or whatever.
Most of the boys aren't bad kids. It's just that the stuff they're watching online has given them the impression that giving blow jobs (and more) to anyone who wants it is what girls like doing best. It doesn't occur to them that what they're watching is *acting* by people who are paid for it. Then there's also the natural narcissism of the immature that assumes without thinking that "this is pleasurable for me so it must be pleasurable for the other person too".Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
We have been oop north for the weekend, awful weather driving up, while we were there and driving back.
It's been an awful week, 3 friends diagnosed with cancer this week, all in their mid 50s. Actually one is a relapse of a cancer from 2 years ago that they decided to keep quiet about; the outlook isn't good.
Oh silvercar. How heart-rending. I'm so sorry. Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
It's been an awful week, 3 friends diagnosed with cancer this week, all in their mid 50s. Actually one is a relapse of a cancer from 2 years ago that they decided to keep quiet about; the outlook isn't good.
I'm sorry to hear this. We need to bother our doctors about our symptoms and not worry about being thought of as hypochondriacs, especially as we move though our 50s to our 60s.
The fact that the symptoms might be embarrassing is something we must learn to ignore. I totally understand why many people think silence is an option but we need to learn to open up to those who can help us.There is no honour to be had in not knowing a thing that can be known - Danny Baker0 -
Oh silvercar I'm so sorry. One such piece of news would be more than bad enough, but three...:( 0
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