Would a female feel vulnerable if alone ans stranded?

badmemory

I don't think it is anything to do with gender or height or even girth. I am definitely not tall. But I walk with a "don't mess with me" attitude or so I have been told. I have a friend many inches taller than me who walks with a "please don't see me, don't notice I am here" attitude she has been mugged twice in 3 yrs. I really dislike the fact that some people are "victims" or that some people see and use them as such. So no I don't feel vulnerable although I do sometimes wonder if I should. But suspect as I am now over 70 that in a few short years I may well.

Doody

Laz123 wrote: »

So you're a female driver and your car breaks down. You're left alone and stranded by the roadside waiting for the AA man who takes hours and hours to turn up. Do you think you should feel more vulnerable than a man?

I deliberately haven't posted this in the motoring forum because it's male dominated sometimes by petrol-heads.

*Should* I feel more vulnerable than a man? No, I don't think so. I've felt vulnerable when I've been driving when tired and had to pull over on the hard shoulder for a rest. That was scary because of the traffic thundering by, but not because I feared that a marauder would pick on me because of my gender.

We all have different resources and abilities and that is what makes a difference. Like a previous poster I have a son and a daughter. In our family's situation I'd worry a lot more about my son if he was stranded - they are different people with different vulnerabilities.

According to statistics, the majority of assault and rape on females comes from people they know. Assault in the street from strangers happens mainly to younger males.

All assault is awful but living in fear of assault is inhibiting in itself.

Gloomendoom

I'd agree that the way you carry yourself or just the expression on your face can make a difference, no matter what your build, particularly when it comes to being left alone. I've managed bluff it out in some really unsavoury places and I'm sure being the "big man" has helped.

With a friend, I was once in a potentially interesting situation late at night with a bunch of aggressive local yoofs in Munich, Germany. They ran off when spoke to back to them in English.

Personally, I avoid any kind of confrontation as far as possible. I really don't like it and you never know who you might get embroiled with. Unfortunately, it isn't always possible.

Gavin83

pollypenny wrote: »

Any dodgy character would take a look at DS and realise they had no chance.

It wouldn't stop some random person who thought they'd repeatedly stab a lone male for 'a laugh'. While unlikely, I think this is probably about as likely as a lone female being raped.

As a said, men and women generally face different dangers. Women are more likely to be the victims of sexual assault, men the victims of violence, or murder.

Laz123

BrassicWoman wrote: »

It's nothing to do with your question so it influences my initial view that you in some way get off on thinking about vulnerable women/girls being attacked.

I'm not sure why you would think that totally illogical viewpoint. The reality is quite the opposite in fact. As a psychologist I can only ascertain your hangups stem from either being mistreated by a male/males or you have experienced 'daddy issues'.

BrassicWoman

Laz123 wrote: »

I'm not sure why you would think that totally illogical viewpoint. The reality is quite the opposite in fact. As a psychologist I can only ascertain your hangups stem from either being mistreated by a male/males or you have experienced 'daddy issues'.

Nice try. If you were really a psychologist you would already know that the answer is "it depends" and you wouldn't bandy about pseudo-psych terms so casually.


Unless you are a very bad psychologist?


Wouldn't it be easier just to state WHY you are asking the question?

Fireflyaway

As a female I may feel vulnerable depending if its day or night and where I was etc. I'd be worried about opportunists. Sexual predators to be clear. However I may feel vulnerable if I were a man. Although less likely to be sexually assaulted, you could be robbed or beaten up. There are weirdos out there.
When I did break down once it was in a rural location and it was dark. I called the breakdown people but also called my dad so I wasn't on my own. The car couldn't be moved and there was no pavement. I lost count of how many passing motorists tooted or stuck up 2 fingers whilst I was waiting for recovery. Doesn't take much for people to get uptight and lose compassion.

Laz123

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Nice try. If you were really a psychologist you would already know that the answer is "it depends" and you wouldn't bandy about pseudo-psych terms so casually.


Unless you are a very bad psychologist?


Wouldn't it be easier just to state WHY you are asking the question?

Now now, let's not be nasty. I asked the question because as already stated earlier and linked to another thread, which you obviously haven't bothered to read, I jumped to the defence of a female who had broken down, waited hours and hours for the AA alone and feeling vulnerable and she was jumped on by a few misogynistic macho petrolheads stating why bring in the gender equation. Now being from the old school I couldn't understand why? Hence the question. But it seems most people here are of the younger generation and eventhough the breakdown companies give priority to stranded females almost everyone seems to think it doesn't matter. Whereas with my generation it does matter.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5667260

Was I a good psychologist? In the 20+ plus years of practise and out of the 100s of clients I assisted with their malaise to give a better quality of life I never had a complaint. And out of all the posters you were the only one to have had a paranoid/suspicious viewpoint.

silverwhistle

I'm a footballer, forward or goalkeeper, so am physically confident and robust, and by and large don't feel vulnerable. I'm also a memberr of the sensible shoes brigade , so would have the option of running and kicking..

But there seems to be a slightly nasty tone from some on here on the lines of "You wanted equality, so put up with it".

Now even within the last few years there have been rape cases where the defence lawyer and even the judges have queried the victim for being alone or not getting a taxi. My experience is that I've never been paid more to enable me to do so, nor will my pension reflect these additional costs.

So I've been known to walk nearly 3 miles home after a drink. My slighter, shorter, younger and physically more attractive female friends wouldn't dream of doing so, and it's not due to laziness..

Bean83

Doody wrote: »

I've felt vulnerable when I've been driving when tired and had to pull over on the hard shoulder for a rest. That was scary because of the traffic thundering by, but not because I feared that a marauder would pick on me because of my gender.

Slightly off-topic, but are you serious?! If so, PLEASE don't do this!!

1) it's illegal (hard shoulder is for emergencies only and you could be obstructing the emergency services)
2) it's extremely dangerous - people on the hard shoulder get crashed into all the time!!

If you're that tired, find a service station and pull over there, the hard shoulder is no place for a nap!