How long before you move in together

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Hi All

Just after some thoughts/views on how long into a relationship people wait before considering moving in. I know everyone is different but I am not ready to move in with my OH (been going out a year next month) & we do both have a child/children from previous marriages whereas my OH is really pushing it. I do see my future with her but I am just not ready to move in at the moment,whereas she is but she is taking it very badly when I say I am not ready.
Dwy galon, un dyhead,
Dwy dafod ond un iaith,
Dwy raff yn cydio’n ddolen,
Dau enaid ond un taith.
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Comments

  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    I suppose the question is - what are you waiting for? financial stability? kids being older? whats the factor that's stopping you?
  • Oakdene
    Oakdene Posts: 2,560 Forumite
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    Guest101 wrote: »
    I suppose the question is - what are you waiting for? financial stability? kids being older? whats the factor that's stopping you?

    I dont know truth be told, we still fall out a fair amount over silly little things & I guess I want things to settle before we uproot & move
    Dwy galon, un dyhead,
    Dwy dafod ond un iaith,
    Dwy raff yn cydio’n ddolen,
    Dau enaid ond un taith.
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    Oakdene wrote: »
    I dont know truth be told, we still fall out a fair amount over silly little things & I guess I want things to settle before we uproot & move



    You need to practice living together, but that's obviously difficult with kids involved.


    Maybe make a list of what you expect, ask her to do the same?
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    Oakdene wrote: »
    I dont know truth be told, we still fall out a fair amount over silly little things & I guess I want things to settle before we uproot & move

    It's only been a year, it should still be honeymoon period.

    If you're rowing too much now, it's probably not meant to be, I doubt it would 'settle' once you were living together as a blended family.
  • Oakdene
    Oakdene Posts: 2,560 Forumite
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    When we have sleepovers & things it just works but that involves one of our lot sleeping on a sofa so its not ideal long term.

    Maybe a list is the idea forward
    Dwy galon, un dyhead,
    Dwy dafod ond un iaith,
    Dwy raff yn cydio’n ddolen,
    Dau enaid ond un taith.
  • ViolaLass
    ViolaLass Posts: 5,764 Forumite
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    Have you tried having a weekend together?
  • KateySW
    KateySW Posts: 107 Forumite
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    I moved in with my partner after 18 months of dating... but we had known each other well for 6 years at this stage!! Also, we didn't have kids to think about, like you do...

    It's absolutely right to be cautious on this for that exact reason. As someone whose parents got divorced and has a (big) blended family, I can't stress this enough. If you aren't sure, you need to get to the bottom of why that is. As suggested above, a list of your expectations on both sides is a good idea. Also try to iron out why you "fall out a fair amount over silly little things" while you're at it. Having an honest and frank conversation, preferably when it's just the two of you (maybe try to organise a night away somewhere) will hopefully set you on the right track.
  • sweetbabu
    sweetbabu Posts: 162 Forumite
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    9 months... probably would have done it sooner were it not for my daughter finishing school. Eleven months later, we are awaiting the arrival of our first child.

    We had known each other for 8 years prior though.
  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,550 Forumite
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    Three days.

    After our wedding, that is.
  • Hutchch0920
    Hutchch0920 Posts: 291 Forumite
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    About 3 months. We met at the beginning of September and I'd moved in with my OH by late November. We just couldn't bear to be apart and I still thoroughly enjoy his company now. We've been living together 18 months and I absolutely think it was the right choice for us. We are 28 and 26 though, without children, I guess it might be easier for us to build our lives together as we do not have others to consider.
    Save £12k in 2017 / Dec 2017 Travel Cash = £12,400 / £14,000 88.5%[/COLOR]

    House Deposit = £20,500 / £18,000:money:
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