Desperate plea for help with a complicated housing situation

xylophone

The private buyer is an extended family member who runs a building maintenance and rental business.

Could this person provide a room to rent?

Perhaps you could get your brother to give you LPA so that you can open an account in his name to hold his share of the sale proceeds - you would arrange to pay the rent and bills by SO/DD as required.

You could also drip feed a monthly allowance.


Presumably once his capital was reduced to a certain level, he would be able to claim benefits?

Otherwise you might approach Social Services on the grounds that he is vulnerable and ask if they could find him somewhere to live on the basis that you will pay his rent/bills as above?

LadyGMadameToThee

Time to evict the hopeless junkie layabout. You sound at your wits end - and I don't blame you. You need to take swift, ruthless action to protect your own inheritance. Your brother is beyond redemption, I'm afraid.

00ec25

DJBenson wrote: »

Yep - as above I don't exactly need the money,

do check if you will have a capital gains tax bill to pay on your share of the property though

if as you say the condition has gone down since the GF's death it is of course possible that you actually have a loss not a gain, but either way it is a figure you will need to work out given it is not your main home so that makes you liable for tax on your gain

CKhalvashi

LadyGMadameToThee wrote: »

Time to evict the hopeless junkie layabout. You sound at your wits end - and I don't blame you. You need to take swift, ruthless action to protect your own inheritance. Your brother is beyond redemption, I'm afraid.

Actually, I disagree completely.

This should be used as a way to help him get out of old habits and get his life on track. The paying rent/bills and drip feeding a monthly allowance, then when the time is right dealing with the benefits side of things is IMO the right way to go on this one, but (and this is a big but) only if he's willing to help himself. He has demonstrated some willingness already, so it's hopeful.

To the OP- If you go ahead with what I've said above, this is going to be a difficult process emotionally for both of you, taking years rather than days or weeks, however I really do hope you can help him get the support he needs to turn his life around.

FBaby

That sounds very much like a bit of emotional blackmail.

Should the OP really enable his brother to kill himself faster by supplying £25k of funds to pay for drugs and alcohol?

I think you misunderstood what I said. My suggestion was for the brother to stay in the house, ie. keeping the status quo, not to buy him out.

ets put aside "my share" as I don't need the money - but I do believe it's the right thing to do to get him out of that house. I cannot imagine what it's like living there now - it'll be like being trapped in his own nightmare.

That's the difficult part. You do nothing, he trashes the place, and continues to deteriorate until.... You sale the place though and then what? As he said, he would likely end up in the streets. Would he get a council place? Maybe, but most likely not, at least not soon. It's summer now, so ok, but what if he's still there in the winter having used the £25K to get even worse? What if he ends up frozen dead in the streets next January?

It's a terrible situation because of his issues with drugs and alcohol. It sounds like it is beyond tough love. Could you agree to sell the house and buy a flat together instead, and you keep an eye on him, anything that wouldn't require so much maintenance and that 'trashing' would mean not as expensive to remedy? Ultimately, it comes down to whether you want to take some responsibility for him because he is your brother, or whether you feel that it is too much work, too much risk and you don't have the means or will to give him any support.

Personally, I really have no idea what I would do in your shoes.

moneyistooshorttomention

Personally - I don't think it's remotely fair to think of OP taking any responsibility for this brother any longer.

People have to take responsibility for themselves ultimately and then either "sink or swim" on their own. Brother needs to grow up basically and "tough love" could be the only hope he has for doing so ultimately. I don't rate the odds at all positively that brother will "grow up" - but it's certainly not fair for him to have this drag effect on OP's life. Said drag effect will also impact back on OP's wife and children one way or another and they will be incidental victims of not getting their full share of time/attention/etc from OP if OP keeps on spending some of "their share" of emotional resources on dealing with this brother.

nimbo

Sorry it won't let me quote.

Yes he may well end up homeless and freezing on the streets come January. But he's currently living in a run down house with no gas electric heating and hot water. He could just as easily freeze in the dilapidated house.

Neither choice is a good one. I worked with a woman (I was based at a Drug and alcohol treatment agency) who owned a house. Wanted to access rehab - but because her house was on paper worth over the threshold would have had to self fund. Her house had no floorboards upstairs. Her drug use had left her with a pronounced limp and mobility issues. She had to pee in a bucket downstairs. It was awful. She couldn't have sold it - especially without it looking like intentional deprivation of capital.

selling would at least give him some cash to rent with. A house with electric and hot water. It wouldn't take long for him to get below 16k of savings. Once he's paid a rental deposit etc. He's then be eligible to apply for benefits if he chose to. It's hard that he has to want to be helped before that can be offered - unless he'd require hospitalisation. But as a former worker at a drug and alcohol treatment agency you have two people one determined to get sorted and the other saying they're happy as there are. You can't make the second person change their mindset. You'd kill yourself trying. There is no magic wand to give a person motivation.

Also thinking of the neighbours. They'd probably appreciate the end of what sounds like the house from hell on their door steps.

It's a hard decision to make. Would he consider you taking charge of the money for the first week and setting him up paying six months rent upfront from it? At least he'd have a base for that long.

If the family friend is buying it - could you consider a bed sit for a few weeks between exchange and completion? If they were the same day he wouldn't have to be homeless for long until the cash hit his account?

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

I think you misunderstood what I said. My suggestion was for the brother to stay in the house, ie. keeping the status quo, not to buy him out.

But the brother is borrowing money from people on the basis that he has an asset.

While his debts won't be the responsibility of DJBenson when the brother dies, having the house will allow the brother to keep getting more money to feed his addictions.

seven-day-weekend

I would use part of his money to rent him the cheapest bedsit you can find, and pay six month's rent upfront. Maybe give him the rest in the form of an allowance, and keep some back to pay his bills. He would of course have to agree to this.

Then use that six months to try to get him into rehab, if he is willing.

Once his money has reduced he will be able to claim Housing Allowance for his bedsit's rent.

If he gets chucked out for trashing it, then that is his responsibility.

If he does not agree to this, and does not want to change his life, then I'm afraid whatever you do he is likely to end up on the streets.

elsien

xylophone wrote: »

Otherwise you might approach Social Services on the grounds that he is vulnerable and ask if they could find him somewhere to live on the basis that you will pay his rent/bills as above?

Social services don't have housing they can hand out like that. People either go on the council list in the normal way, or if they have additional support needs they can be assessed for supported housing. Supported housing providers will not accept someone who is drinking, taking drugs and refusing to make any effort to change because of the impact on their other tenants. There are people in mental health units who are there far longer than needed because they have nowhere to go - the OPs brother has a house and will potentially have money for a private rental. He's never where near top of the list.
There isn't a magic cure, it's a hard slog even when the person is willing to engage and it doesn't sound as if the OPs brother is at that point yet. If he has capacity then he can make very bad choices, and he gets to live with the consequences. He has to want to change things first.