McDiary - I'm loving it!!

yeovilmac

Oh dear. :mad:

Here's a thread I posted two months back about our relationship.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=537028

It goes a way to explain why she was my "ex" and not my "present" girlfriend.

This morning, she emailed me a lovely poem, truly beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that I googled the first two lines and found they were from a poem written by someone else. She had said in the email that she had been up since 4am writing it. When I told her I had found it on the internet, she 'fessed up and said she had changed it to suit how she feels.

I feel so confused now as the lies appear to have started again. Am I too touchy or should I just laugh it off again?

What would you do? Sorry to hijack my own thread.:eek:

(Land_of)_Maz

Off to read your previous thread...

Was the poem drastically different, i.e. had she altered it to suit her feelings?

Don't jump to conclusions, maybe she wished she could have written such a nice poem, and that in itself is good, no?

Back with my tuppence worth in a while.

And yes, it's your thread so hi-jck away!

MushyPeas

yeovilmac wrote: »

This morning, she emailed me a lovely poem, truly beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that I googled the first two lines and found they were from a poem written by someone else. She had said in the email that she had been up since 4am writing it. When I told her I had found it on the internet, she 'fessed up and said she had changed it to suit how she feels.

I feel so confused now as the lies appear to have started again. Am I too touchy or should I just laugh it off again?

Ooh Yeovil, I don't know! I wonder why you decided to google the poem? Do you not trust your ex? I guess I should read the other thread to find out! Gosh, I just have, sounds confusing!

I'd worry about why she said she wrote the poem, did she need to say that to you? Would it have mattered if she said 'I found this and thought of you'. I can see why you're worried about the lies.

Good luck and I hope your heart tells you the right thing to do.

MPx

chocaholic110

I can understand why you don't like the lies. I hate lying and instill in the kids in my class (and my own at home!) that they will be much more trusted if they own up to what they've done instead of trying to cover it up. I usually say I will trust them completely but if I catch them lying once I will also think they are lying. It seems to work so far!

Can you talk to your ex about the lies and explain how they make you feel and about the trust issue? In any case, at least it is still early days, you haven't made any commitment and you can take things steady and see how it goes. If the lies continue though I would be thinking twice about the relationship - if she lies about little things that aren't important, would she also lie about more important issues?

And it's YOUR thread! I'm not sure you can hijack your own thread. that's what it's there for!!

twinklie

Hmmm....complicated. I for one think those comments received on your inital thread are from rather judgemental people. And I hope you came to terms with everything yourself without any thought to what can only be described as nasty comments posted by several people.

I have not only been through a rather destructive relationship (lies, cheating etc - all by him I might add) but I'm also quite savy on ye old psychology etc side of stuff...not that I claim to be an expert by any stretch.

However, I kinda agree with Mushy, why did you feel the need to google the poem in the first place? If it's your issue, you need to work on it. However, if you are worried about the lies the only way to give the relationship half a chance (in my opinion) is to sit down with her, and lay all your cards on the table.

Your both adults, and there are lets face it, kids involved. So explain your issues/worries and listen to hers. Set ground rules and talk openly about stuff. There should be no sneaking behind each others backs or checking up on each other.

I'm not in the slightest having a go. It just sounds like you've had a pretty tough couple of years. So to save yourself any further heartache, it's time to be straight with yourself about what your feeling. I hope that all makes sense.

I did bang my head earlier and so I apologise if it's all come out a bit jumbled....I'm not quite with it. Ha ha ha

pandapaws

Poor you. Why is nothing ever easy?

Echoing everyone else (apart from the wierd t055ers on your other post!) it all comes down to trust. Was there something suspiscious that made you Google the poem (like it sounded familiar, or her normal spelling/grammar etc isn't as good as that?), or did you just do it out of interest to see where she had got her inspiration from, or was it really a case of not trusting her?

Nobody but you can decide what to do or sort it out, but good luck! And whatever happens I'm sure you'll get much more sympathy here than on that other board!

yeovilmac

It was a question of trust, yes, as I don't trust her 100%. I emailed her when I found it and asked why she had lied and she just said that at 4am, it took some thinking up, a poem that nice so she "adapted" it for me. By "adapted", she meant "changed about 1% of it"....

The trust thing comes from events detailed in the other thread but after I sent her back, we chatted on MSN and texted and met a few times. She moved back in with her husband into the spare room ( they're getting divorced ) as he has a 4 bed house. I suspected they might have another go but she denied it saying it wold never happen. Later on, she admitted that they had slept together one night but nothing happened, he says otherwise, but she eventually admitted to having a "physical thing" that night. He says they've slept together 4/5 times but she says once. Do you see where I'm coming from on the trust issue?

All I want out of life is to be happy and content with someone who is kind with the boys, loves me for who I am and is tactile. Not much to ask for really and she ticked all the boxes but the lies are getting out of hand and not for the first time. Taken in isolation, I can see the funny side of the poem episode but add it to the rest, and there's a picture of someone bordering on being a compulsive liar.

OliveOyl_2

She sounds awfully like some people I know. She tells you what you want to hear. (or what she thinks you want to hear) she may not mean to hurt you and may think that none of these "exaggerations" (sp?) really matter.

Trouble is, to many of us they DO matter.

Only you know if this relationship can go on like this. If you can live with not believing her on anything until it is confirmed by someone else?

OTOH if she told you her husband hit her and he didn't, what will she say about you in the future?

It's a worry, and I hope that you can find an answer that makes you happy.

twinklie

I kind of agree with Olive....you do need trust in a relationship. And if you haven't got it, whether it be her fault are yours. Will you be happy in this relationship?

Unfortunately only you can decide. But I really really hope things work out for you one way or another. You really do sound like a lovely bloke!
xx

yeovilmac

Thanks, Twinklie. Never judge a book by its cover, I might be an axe murderer although why anyone would want to kill a poor, defenceless axe is beyond me....

I've decided to give her the benefit of the doubt re the poem as the wording is a tad ambiguous to be honest and it may be me jumping to conclusions. Tonight, I'm doing the best thing I can do and me and the twins are going to watch a football match ( Bristol Rovers v Yeovil reserves ) and its quite cheap entry so that will give me a few hours away from it all.

Best wishes

Martin
x