When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

After the last conversation mum hasn't had the smalls. They now go to a club at school on the days needed like if we have an appointment etc and they can't really attend. They do breakfast club if I need to leave before school time etc. This is costly however I know where I stand. I know they are safe/fed and the cost is set. No one can hold this over me and say well I watched the two of them so you need to do this etc (yes this happens often)

I told her she needs to decide what I owe and that's that, really it shouldn't be anything. I always treat them when they've watched the kids with flowers/chocs or similar and I do try to do her cleaning/ironing. The figure is nearly £800 (made up of some really random things, ie mcdonalds/days out/fuel for giving lifts/some things shes spent while I've been in hospital with the smalls)

I'm glad she's actually come to a figure. I've been paying her £20-50 a week now for a very long time and I never knew where I stood. I just don't want to add £500 to my debt totals when 'I haven't done anything' to justify it going up

In other financial news my tax credits have finally updated. My 4 weekly amount is now showing with working and child tax credits. It's still less than the calculator said so I think they are going to take the overpayments directly from payments? No idea but it gives me a better idea what to budget with.

earthgirl

Sounds like you have it sorted for the future. I'd struggle to spend that much on my kids in a year!

Hiddenidenity

I thought the same I don't do mcdonalds and things though, nor would I spend £80+ on one day out but live and learn I guess. She was there when I needed her to have them and other than the money side of things I am grateful she stepped in. Just a hard and expensive lesson I've learnt I think

System

Hidden I regularly read your diary but don't often comment . I think you are a shining example of someone who just gets on with things no matter what is thrown at you . You don't complain how hard life is for you because of xyz.

I am a grandparent who works and also does one day a week childcare and other babysitting. Now I don't know your mums circumstances but I think you need to get the issue sorted out about what she does with the children when she has them. I would never expect my grandchildrens parents to pay if I took the children out. I don't have lots of money so try and keep the days cheap . As you say though your mum has been there when you have needed her so catch 22 I guess.

Have a good rest of weekend Hidden, Hope youngest is improving after being ill this week.

missymoo81

Well done on the amazing goals you've smashed in September. Your October goals sound great and im sure you'll achieve them and surpass them! You are amazing! I'm going to set some October goals too. Thanks for the inspiration, again!

mummytogirls

Keep going HI, you are doing amazingly well.

Re your mum, it is a bit annoying if she hasn't agreed the days out etc beforehand. You've done your damdest to keep costs down with free days out and if you were going to pay her to take them on days out you could have done that yourself! But we live and learn xx

bubblycrazy

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

Mum came up with a new figure of what I owe her, I disagree, however no proof and she's added in days she's had the kids and taken them out etc, its nearly 3 times the amount in my debt. I'm unsure what to do about this and adding it in to the debt. It will make it look like I've massively got more debt when I haven't really and this is just what she wants back now (i'm sure it will change again at some point)

You might not have any proof but neither has your mum. Tell her the figure you've already got is what you're paying her, give her an extra £50 if you have to but she's taking the mick when she knows how much you're struggling and is financially sound herself! This has really annoyed me!
She cant add on money she has willingly spent when she didn't consult you first if you're the one actually paying it! :mad:
I would stop paying her weekly and when you have the full amount offer her it as a final payment.

Hiddenidenity

It has made me really annoyed But this is all from in the past. Going back quite a while I don't ask her to have them now so it won't happen again. I don't think we will agree to less as she already thinks this is missing some things she's done So will take it on the chin and learn not to let it happen again!

I'm not adding it to my debt. I will focus on the £300 left in my debt that I know I definitely owe and will think about the rest when it comes to that point.

Hiddenidenity

Oh and youngest is a lot better thank you, still has the lingering smokers cough and wheeze but I think this will just be how she is now for a while. As long as it's kept at this level and no worse!

4 weeks of the term done 3 more until half term

missymoo81

Don't say that hidden! I've only just got used to the idea that they're at school! Not sure I can afford half term!