Asking someone 'out' when youre an adult and his job

Smith6675

Im a 33 year old female, feel a bit silly asking the following questions but here goes....

I suffer with a bad neck so i started seeing an 'alternative practitioner' about 9 months ago. He is visually drop dead gorgeous and over the past 9 months i have grown to really like his personality (as much as i know of it, im aware i probably dont know the real him) but from what i know so far i really really like. I have to point out that he is currently single.

Obviously i presume because of his job he has to be careful and so do i as im still his 'patient' after all.

I have a feeling he quite likes me although i cant tell 100% as i realise he has to hold back and act professional whilst at work. We get along very well and have deeper conversations than i do with anyone else.

I recently bumped into him ....total coincidence but felt amazing in a really random place recently. Im a rubbish flirt but felt he was much more relaxed and himself with not being at work. He asked me my relationship status and i just went red and avoided the question really really awkwardly.....i dont know why!!!! If i had the balls i shouldve just said to him then and there im free and single and ask him out for a coffee but i never!!! Total missed opportunity.

The chances are that i wont bump into him again but i really want to ask him out but i dont know how..... i feel a bit of an idiot booking in for an appointment then asking him out. I also dont want to embarrass him. And if i did what words would i use? I suppose because i have major hots for him i would he gutted if he turned me down!

I understand i sound like a love sick teenager...but thats how i feel. ANY advice needed. Im driving myself crazy. I either want to be able to snog his face off or move on. Thanks x

caprikid1

If he asked your relationship status he is interested.


Ask him for a coffee at lunchtime ? Send him note marked private and confidential to his work ?

svain

Im guessing you dont have his mobile number to text him. Can you track him on Facebook?? ... If so, send him a message .... Failing that, and probably the simplest (and bravest) is to ask him out at the end of your next appointment ... Good luck :-)

Smith6675

I do happen to have his mobile number funnily enough! I got it because he phoned me to rearrange an apppointment a while ago and then text me because i didnt aswer the phone. We now arrange my appointments with him by text. But didnt want to text him and mis use his number if you know what i mean?

Thanks x

IAmWales

What do you mean by an alternative practitioner?

If you're referring to a chiropractor it would be against their professional code of practice to date a patient.

If you're referring to some hocus pocus not really a clincian then they can do what they want.

Do you still require "treatment"?

Smith6675

Ahhhhh thats the thing. Even thinking about asking him out makes my stomach churn!!! What words do i use without sounding like a 13 year old in the playground?

elsien

If he's sensible and doesn't want to breach any professional guidelines (if there are any, depending on what type of alternative therapy he offers) then he won't have a relationship with you while you are his patient. That's not somewhere either of you should particularly want to go - it blurs far too many boundaries and can leave vulnerable people open to abuse. (Not saying that you're vulnerable, but the guidelines are there for a reason and the practicitoner is risking his career if he breaks them.)

Smith6675

No not a chiropractor but im sure he will have a code of conduct to follow with what he does ��������

Smith6675

So if i stop becoming a patient will it still be against the code of conduct? I dont want to get him into any trouble. Is there any time limits?

tensandunits_2

Female patients developing feelings of lust for their therapist or doctor is not unheard of. But practitioners following through on it certainly should be! I am assuming he belongs to a professional body and it isn't just some woo-woo quackery.

svain

Dont over think things or let people put you off. Deal with one hurdle at a time.

First thing to do is see if he is interested in meeting for a coffee ... then if that goes well and you choose to see each other again have a discussion how best to proceed (or not proceed) with the professional relationship.