Is a single mothers benifits enough

viktory

black-saturn wrote: »

OK, there is no hope for me :rolleyes:

I knew that months ago

Zara33

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Sarahsaver, how did you manage to shack up and have children with a violent drugged up bloke? Wasn't the writing on the wall from quite early in your relationship? Or did he suddenly have a brainstorm, or what? I am genuinely curious as to how these things turn from cosy young family to total waste of space.

TBH that's very low, and down right rude.

Bogof_Babe

Sorry you see it like that Zara, but it was a genuine question. I mean if Sarah's bloke had run off with another woman or something, well these things happen, but to have had children with a violent druggy just defies understanding.

krisskross

black-saturn wrote: »

Seems there are 2 kinds of parents in the world. The 'material girls' who will go out to work at all costs even if it means moving away from their children and the 'nature nurtures' who would always put their family before anything else. I'm proud to say I am the latter.

Just for a few seconds go back in time about 60 years. No welfare system. So what will you do then to 'nurture' your family? Fine to put your family first (as we all do) when you can sit at home and let the taxpayer take the strain. What would you have done if that option had not been available? I wouldn't have a great deal of pride in the fact that I had relied on taxpayers money to fulfil my obligations to the children I had brought into the world.

DaisyFlower

black-saturn wrote: »

Good for them. I personally would be very upset with my children if they put career before their family life. I'm trying to teach them that to love your family and be there to nurture them is a good thing.

You can still love your family and work! Both myself and hubby work (albeit I only do 3 days) and we have a little boy. I continued to work as I wanted him to be bought up to see that by working it puts food on the table etc and that life isnt handed to you on a plate. Even if I was single, I would still work - its called pride. It wouldnt mean I would love my son any less.

The rules are changing though and single parents will have to find paid work when there child reaches 7 - should just be from school age but its a start.

Benefits should be there for those that genuinely need them, ie incapacity benefit, JSA inbetween jobs when you lose one, those with disabled children who would have genuine reasons why childcare would not be suitable - that way there would be more money for other things like pensions - people can work for 45 years and then be made to live on the bare minimum as theres no money left.

Bogof_Babe

Oh and btw, I lost my father to leukaemia last year on October 28th, after a very hard and distressing year, and three weeks later my husband lost his father in similar circumstances - only the nature of the cancer was different. OH and I tried to support eachother through it all, but the timing was not ideal so we were actually struggling on our own for a lot of the time.

It is not funny in the slightest, but it is dealable with, and going to pieces was not going to help anyone. You slap on a positive face each morning and just get on with it. I had to for my 91-year-old mother's sake, apart from anything else.

weymuffred

viktory wrote: »

He's got a point though

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Much as I hate to leave such a wonderful thread, I must go and watch Murphy's Law now.

Have fun children

:mad: Care to tell me whats funny about watching someone die of cancer?

weymuffred

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Oh and btw, I lost my father to leukaemia last year on October 28th, after a very hard and distressing year, and three weeks later my husband lost his father in similar circumstances - only the nature of the cancer was different. OH and I tried to support eachother through it all, but the timing was not ideal so we were actually struggling on our own for a lot of the time.

It is not funny in the slightest, but it is dealable with, and going to pieces was not going to help anyone. You slap on a positive face each morning and just get on with it. I had to for my 91-year-old mother's sake, apart from anything else.

Everyone deals with things differently, and I wish I could have put a brave face on it and make it a dealable situation, Unfortunately I couldnt and found life rather unbearable to cope with, but there is NO NEED for that post.

Bogof_Babe

You were en route to getting a sympathy vote from me until your last few words.

I generally find aggression doesn't help much either.

Goodnight.

tigtag02

black-saturn wrote: »

Seems there are 2 kinds of parents in the world. The 'material girls' who will go out to work at all costs even if it means moving away from their children and the 'nature nurtures' who would always put their family before anything else. I'm proud to say I am the latter.

I think that the two examples you are looking for are:
The parents who go out to work to pay for the children that THEY created and those that stay at home, on benfits and uses the *I couldn't leave my children with someone else* as the same sorry old excuse.

Of course this is just the black and white which you seem to think there is. There is actually, of course they grey area's which are people on benfits simply because there is NO other choice!!