Estate Agents 'Patter'

tykesi

That is absolutely vile (IMO)

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

fairy_lights wrote: »

Sweet jesus those bedrooms are small.
Maybe the agents are trying to hint that it's not actually big enough for a family?

I would agree. it's a one bedroom house with a a study, a box room and a utility room downstairs.

mgarl10024

<pedant> LAN network? That'd be a Local Area Network Network then? </pedant>

phoebe1989seb

It wouldn't be a house I'd choose, regardless of how the EA - or in this case the vendor - describes it, but that's just my personal taste:p

It certainly doesn't seem particularly suited to being a home for those with very young kids, especially with the position of the ground floor bedroom and I know some parents are not keen on such layouts as we found when selling a six bedroom Victorian house with bedrooms spread over several floors/mezzanines. We sold to an older couple with one mid-teen son.

Otoh, when I was about nineteen I had a boyfriend that lived in a house with a similar layout to that in the link. His bedroom was the one behind the garage and it was the perfect location for us to escape from the prying eyes of his family

If it's what suits you, OP, then it shouldn't matter how the blurb describes it......

Cakeguts

I can see several major problems with it. It is a modern terraced house. Town house is posh for terraced. Oldham has got a lot of terraced houses. If you have enough money to buy that place you are not going to spend it on a terraced house however nice the kitchen is. You could get a nice semi in a nicer area or even a detached for that.

It is going to need a lot of patter to sell it there.

Davesnave

Cakeguts wrote: »

It is going to need a lot of patter to sell it there.

"Two good schools within spitting distance," might be the most effective patter.

(Of course, good schools should teach one not to spit. :A)

[Deleted User]

Wow, not much of a garden.. 'Bedroom 4' on the ground floor seems a bit odd, and would probably be used as a playroom/study/wetroom.

Kitchen is not on the ground floor, and away from the utility room. No bathroom on the same floor as the lounge. Top floor rooms are really in a 'loft' area.

What a very strange house layout!

Cakeguts

Davesnave wrote: »

"Two good schools within spitting distance," might be the most effective patter.

(Of course, good schools should teach one not to spit. :A)

The only problem with the two good spitting schools is that a terraced house is not regarded as the ultimate in houses to bring up children in. It is regarded as a sort of starter home. A vertical flat. The house that you bring up your children in is more likely to be a semi or a detached. Basically you bring up children in a terraced house if you can't afford something better.

Ithaca

We got quite good at interpreting estate agent statements.

"In need of some updating" = last decorated in 1983
"In need of full refurbishment" = total wreck inside
"Low maintenance garden" = concrete paving slabs with no grass in sight
"Mature shrubbery" = a 10-foot high jungle of thorns and nettles which blocks out all sunlight
"Walking distance to town" = if you're willing to walk for an hour, then sure
"Excellent transport links" = it's next to the dual-carriageway

ReadingTim

The property would suit a young Professional couple, working in the city who also loves the outdoors

In other words, the property would suit people who don't want to spend much time in it, presumably as it's too small and poorly designed to live in for very long...