Why do older parents forget what it's like to have young children???

LandyAndy

iammumtoone wrote: »

I am mid 40s I never went out for a meal with my parents when I was young it wasn't the done thing, the first time I went out for a restaurant meal I was at high school, I remember the feeling I felt so grown up

.

Really? I'm nearly 60 and from my early teens I went out for meals with my parents regularly (at least once a month).


Having said that, and having treated my sons (now in their early 20s) the same way, my sons do tell me that many of their friends have no concept of 'going out for dinner'.

Torry_Quine

LandyAndy wrote: »

Really? I'm nearly 60 and from my early teens I went out for meals with my parents regularly (at least once a month).


Having said that, and having treated my sons (now in their early 20s) the same way, my sons do tell me that many of their friends have no concept of 'going out for dinner'.

I'm a little younger than you but eating out when I was a child was a rare thing, not least due to the relative expense compared to now.

Pollycat

LandyAndy wrote: »

Really? I'm nearly 60 and from my early teens I went out for meals with my parents regularly (at least once a month).


Having said that, and having treated my sons (now in their early 20s) the same way, my sons do tell me that many of their friends have no concept of 'going out for dinner'.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm a little younger than you but eating out when I was a child was a rare thing, not least due to the relative expense compared to now.

LandyAndy
From your second paragraph, you may have been in the minority.

I'm less than 5 years older than you and cannot recollect ever being taken out for a meal by my parents even on holiday (discounting take-away fish & chips sat on the harbour wall).

I was the eldest and with 2 younger siblings, money was tight and certainly not plentiful enough to allow eating out once a month.

Art_Deco

LandyAndy wrote: »

Really? I'm nearly 60 and from my early teens I went out for meals with my parents regularly (at least once a month).


Having said that, and having treated my sons (now in their early 20s) the same way, my sons do tell me that many of their friends have no concept of 'going out for dinner'.[/QUOTE
Another 50 something here and I too never remember ever having meals out when younger, my parents just never had the money to waste , occasional bag of chips on day trips to the seaside. On the subject of waiting to all eat together as a family when my kids were small I had no choice but to work opposite my husband so got in from work about 10.30 at night at least 4 days a week, I dont think they would have been impressed waiting for me to return to chat about my day Do a mixture of shifts now , everyone has to fend for their selves food wise.

onlyroz

I think the thing that has changed in the last few decades is the prevalence of pubs that serve food at the sort of prices that most families can afford - and so a meal out is something that you can do maybe once a month without it breaking the bank. And these places are often "family friendly", offering smaller portions for kids, and things like colouring books and activity sheets to keep them occupied.

maman

onlyroz wrote: »

I think the thing that has changed in the last few decades is the prevalence of pubs that serve food at the sort of prices that most families can afford - and so a meal out is something that you can do maybe once a month without it breaking the bank. And these places are often "family friendly", offering smaller portions for kids, and things like colouring books and activity sheets to keep them occupied.

You are right and McDonalds seems very popular too.;)


I think one of the things that's changed is that, provided it's affordable, far more women work full time now while bringing up a family compared to years ago when many women worked part time or not at all. So rather than spend their free time cooking, they'll go out to eat (there's a carvery near me that's packed early evening every night of the week) or order a take away.

Happier_Me

When my two were toddlers we were invited out for an evening meal at a local restaurant with family. It wasn't a special occasion but we agreed to go. I somehow managed to find myself the lone parent on the children's table and spent all night looking after a group of children (including my own two toddlers).

Oh, the fun I had that night! It cost £90 for the privilege too. That's £90 (that we couldn't really afford) to spend cutting up food, doing toilet runs, playing games, dealing with tired children, sorting the odd argument with no help or adult conversation. I was a knackered working mum at the time, I didn't need to put myself through it and I vowed not to repeat the experience again until the children were older or unless it was for a special occasion that we just couldn't miss.

Fireflyaway

I think there as been a shift in the way children seem to be included (even dominate) situations that they didn't 30 or more years ago. When I was a child we ate out only for special occasions. If the meal was too late for a child, my parents wouldn't have asked the host to make it earlier for my benefit! They would ask family to babysit or just one of them would go. Combine this with parents who still want to retain the life they had before becoming parents. Children should fit in with adults not the other way. A colleague was complaining how her child was refusing everything she suggested he could have for breakfast. As a child I was given whatever my mum had cooked that day and often didn't know what it was until it was put in front of me. A lot of parents would benefit from having some more authority and not being given the run around by demanding kids who have no concept of boundaries. Sorry I've started my own rant!
I don't think your family should change their plans to suit your child. 7pm is a normal time for adults to eat.

onlyroz

Happier_Me wrote: »

When my two were toddlers we were invited out for an evening meal at a local restaurant with family. It wasn't a special occasion but we agreed to go. I somehow managed to find myself the lone parent on the children's table and spent all night looking after a group of children (including my own two toddlers).

Oh, the fun I had that night! It cost £90 for the privilege too. That's £90 (that we couldn't really afford) to spend cutting up food, doing toilet runs, playing games, dealing with tired children, sorting the odd argument with no help or adult conversation. I was a knackered working mum at the time, I didn't need to put myself through it and I vowed not to repeat the experience again until the children were older or unless it was for a special occasion that we just couldn't miss.

I've never heard of a "children's table". Whenever I've eaten as a group the kids were just interspersed with the adults.

Spendless

Happier_Me wrote: »

When my two were toddlers we were invited out for an evening meal at a local restaurant with family. It wasn't a special occasion but we agreed to go. I somehow managed to find myself the lone parent on the children's table and spent all night looking after a group of children (including my own two toddlers).

Oh, the fun I had that night! It cost £90 for the privilege too. That's £90 (that we couldn't really afford) to spend cutting up food, doing toilet runs, playing games, dealing with tired children, sorting the odd argument with no help or adult conversation. I was a knackered working mum at the time, I didn't need to put myself through it and I vowed not to repeat the experience again until the children were older or unless it was for a special occasion that we just couldn't miss.

I might be wrong, but what I suspect happened is you sat at the childrens table with your own two children and the other parents either didn't or only did for a short while and then got up to join the adults which is why you got left with them all.