Why do older parents forget what it's like to have young children???

silvercar

We both work, my son has dinner at 5pm and I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to cook 2 dinners as he either eats with our childcare or I give him the previous night's leftovers which take 2 minutes to reheat in the microwave.

But that means you don't eat with your son and he is often fed re-heated leftovers. Not everyone would be happy to do that on a regular basis.

LannieDuck

Should both parents work? There's been more than one thread lately where a divorcing partner has been criticised for relying on her husband for too long and not working, even though she's been looking after children.

But if both parents do work, they get criticised for not spending enough time with their children, or not cooking fresh food.

Could we stop criticising each other like this? Each family juggles things in different ways. Some people can afford to have one parent at home, others can't. Just because sulphate's kids get their dinner in childcare, doesn't mean they're not loved!!

amanda_p

No-one should expect a 3 year old to sit in a restaurant at 7 o clock in the evening.He will be tired, bored and cranky. Parents will be stressed, worried and anxious. It would be different if the meal was at home, he could be put to bed easily when tired. Very different views in Europe, most young children sit at evening meals until late, but they have the siesta culture, which gives them a long sleep in the middle of the day/afternoon. When my children were 3 they would be in bed and asleep by 7. I am old school, where a routine is important for everyone's sanity but there can always be adjustments, but a 3 year old in a restaurant with 30 adults will be bored rigid. A lot of people will say 'he will be fine, give him an i pad to watch Really? This is not the answer either. If it was me I would try and get a baby sitter for everyones peace of mind, so everybody can enjoy the meal.

onlyroz

Surely a one-off "late" night is not going to cause permanent harm?


A while back we tried to arrange a meal out with my brother, his wife and their 4-year-old daughter. This child's meal-times were so strict that it became impossible to find a time that would suit. Our suggestion of 5pm was considered to be far too late for their precious angel (who must be home and showered by 6:30 or the sky will fall in). Their suggestion of noon didn't suit us because we don't like eating a big meal that early in the day - and my husband's medication makes it difficult for him to do so. In the end we abandoned the attempt and went out on our own.

onlyroz

*max* wrote: »

I'm French, lived here for over 15 years, and I'm still astounded when people say their kids have dinner at 5 and bed at 7 or so.

I don't know how they do it either. I get in from work at 6:15 and can usually manage dinner on the table by 6:45.


I've come to the conclusion that it's common for mum to work shorter hours and to give the child a separate meal at 4pm, and then for the parents to eat separately at 8ish. Not what I'd want - I prefer a family dinner together at a time that everyone can make, even if this means eating "late" (although I don't consider 7pm to be late).

onlyroz

sulphate wrote: »

I don't know why it's difficult to understand how kids with working parents have dinner at 5pm. If the parents are working the kids will be in some form of childcare which provide tea for child or at least something to tide them over until the parents collect them. Many kids couldn't wait until 7pm for dinner particularly if they are up at 6am and have lunch at 12 noon. We both work, my son has dinner at 5pm and I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to cook 2 dinners as he either eats with our childcare or I give him the previous night's leftovers which take 2 minutes to reheat in the microwave.

Well I think it's preferable to have a family dinner at 7pm than to let the children be fed by the childminder or get reheated leftovers.


My daughter goes to the afterschool club where she gets a snack at about 3:30. This is plenty to tide her over until the 6:45pm dinner.

onlyroz

amanda_p wrote: »

No-one should expect a 3 year old to sit in a restaurant at 7 o clock in the evening.He will be tired, bored and cranky. Parents will be stressed, worried and anxious. It would be different if the meal was at home, he could be put to bed easily when tired. Very different views in Europe, most young children sit at evening meals until late, but they have the siesta culture, which gives them a long sleep in the middle of the day/afternoon. When my children were 3 they would be in bed and asleep by 7. I am old school, where a routine is important for everyone's sanity but there can always be adjustments, but a 3 year old in a restaurant with 30 adults will be bored rigid. A lot of people will say 'he will be fine, give him an i pad to watch Really? This is not the answer either. If it was me I would try and get a baby sitter for everyones peace of mind, so everybody can enjoy the meal.

Presumably at least one person in the household worked? Wouldn't a 7pm bedtime have meant that the working people wouldn't get to spend any time with their child during the week?

sulphate

Actually can't believe my parenting skills are being slated because my son often eats in childcare or has reheated leftovers :rotfl:I often eat reheated leftovers for meals myself and I can assure you it is perfectly healthy and tasty, and sometimes tastes better than when it was first cooked! I work 3 days a week so I eat with him the other 4 days. My son has snacks in the afternoon if needed but is used to eating his dinner at 5pmish, but I guess I should make him go hungry for an another 2 hours for dinner eh? Unbelievable.

In fact, yesterday I wasn't working so I cooked all of us a roast dinner from scratch and the 3 of us all ate together when my husband got home at 5. Fancy that!

Some of you could try focusing on families who actually have real issues, such as neglect or being in poverty, rather than working parents who are trying to juggle everything but still manage to provide their kids with everything they need.

Mojisola

sulphate wrote: »

We both work, my son has dinner at 5pm and I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to cook 2 dinners as he either eats with our childcare or I give him the previous night's leftovers which take 2 minutes to reheat in the microwave.

sulphate wrote: »

I work 3 days a week so I eat with him the other 4 days.

If you only give partial information, people will respond based on what you've said.

sulphate

Mojisola wrote: »

If you only give partial information, people will respond based on what you've said.

You mean its assumed I work full time? But it's not relevant how many days I work. I still don't think eating leftovers or having dinner at childcare is an issue. Some kids at school are there from 8am-6pm 5 days a week with breakfast and after school clubs. Some parents don't have the luxury of going part time or not working at all. At least the kids are being provided for and not going hungry. I think some perspective is required here.