Why do older parents forget what it's like to have young children???

onlyroz

Well call me old fashioned if you like but I think it's preferable for the whole family to sit down and eat the same meal together. It provides an opportunity for everyone to discuss their day and discourages faddy eating habits. If that means eating at 7pm then so be it.

But that's just me.

thorsoak

sulphate wrote: »

Actually can't believe my parenting skills are being slated because my son often eats in childcare or has reheated leftovers :rotfl:I often eat reheated leftovers for meals myself and I can assure you it is perfectly healthy and tasty, and sometimes tastes better than when it was first cooked! I work 3 days a week so I eat with him the other 4 days. My son has snacks in the afternoon if needed but is used to eating his dinner at 5pmish, but I guess I should make him go hungry for an another 2 hours for dinner eh? Unbelievable.

In fact, yesterday I wasn't working so I cooked all of us a roast dinner from scratch and the 3 of us all ate together when my husband got home at 5. Fancy that!

Some of you could try focusing on families who actually have real issues, such as neglect or being in poverty, rather than working parents who are trying to juggle everything but still manage to provide their kids with everything they need.

Remember, some people work until 5.30p.m and then have a commute of an hour or so, meaning that they do not arrive home until 7.00p.m - or later. Not everyone who works lives within a 10 minute commute of home. Every family has to make its own arrangements to suit the members of each family.

FBaby

My kids used to have dinner in childcare. Most kids did. This meant that by the time I picked them up, the time together was quality time, especially as there wasn't much of it until it was bedtime, which is the time they naturally set themselves, ie. early in bed, early up.

When they started school, they continued to want to eat early, so as a busy single mum working FT, I prioritise cooking their meal and I ate mine later....and that remained.

Are they traumatised? Not one bit. Yes, in an ideal world, I would have preferred to install the habit of all eating together, but there are many other habits I have installed in them that I am proud of, some that many of their friends are lacking. One such habit is eating healthily and being active so that both of them are healthy and a good weight, something that a number of their friends, most of them who eat at the able to a nice cook meal every night, have issues with.

I suspect those who criticise are no different to every other parent, there are some things they do very well as a parent, and some that they don't, but it's easy to focus on what they see as being role models.

happyandcontented

FBaby wrote: »

My kids used to have dinner in childcare. Most kids did. This meant that by the time I picked them up, the time together was quality time, especially as there wasn't much of it until it was bedtime, which is the time they naturally set themselves, ie. early in bed, early up.

When they started school, they continued to want to eat early, so as a busy single mum working FT, I prioritise cooking their meal and I ate mine later....and that remained.

Are they traumatised? Not one bit. Yes, in an ideal world, I would have preferred to install the habit of all eating together, but there are many other habits I have installed in them that I am proud of, some that many of their friends are lacking. One such habit is eating healthily and being active so that both of them are healthy and a good weight, something that a number of their friends, most of them who eat at the able to a nice cook meal every night, have issues with.

I suspect those who criticise are no different to every other parent, there are some things they do very well as a parent, and some that they don't, but it's easy to focus on what they see as being role models.

It is possible to produce kids who are healthy and active who sit at a table eating home cooked food. It isn't either or!

motorguy

barbarawright wrote: »

I thought sitting outside pubs with a Pepsi and a bag of ready salted while your dad had a drink inside was a standard feature of 70s childhoods. It can't have been *just* me...

Bit of a difference between sitting outside a pub with a bag of crisps for the duration of your dad having a pint and being locked in a car for the evening while your parents have a 3 course meal....

Kim_kim

onlyroz wrote: »

Well call me old fashioned if you like but I think it's preferable for the whole family to sit down and eat the same meal together. It provides an opportunity for everyone to discuss their day and discourages faddy eating habits. If that means eating at 7pm then so be it.

But that's just me.

I never did the 2 meal tiered system either.
I had a friend who gave her children "& chips" food about 5 or 6, then her & her husband would eat proper food (real meat, not burgers/sausages/fish-fingers) after they were in bed.
I couldn't understand it. The kids didn't get to broaden their palette & they didn't get to enjoy the ritual of a family meal.
If my husband wasn't in from work, I ate with my daughter & he reheated his meal! My daughter does the same, eats with the kids & puts a plate by for her partner!

I think meals & food have been dumbed down, with children no longer expected to fit in around others, they are offered special food & restaurants with child play areas. The downside is they are eating pretty crappy food & not learning to enjoy the pleasures of chatting over a family meal.

I never allowed tv at mealtimes - we talked. My daughter bans the modern day equivalent- tablets, they talk.

My grandchildren aren't as socialised with eating out as my daughter was at their age. But they eat primarily in restaurants which are geared towards families & serve a "kids menu". My daughter ate in nicer restaurants & ate from the normal menu.
I do encourage my grandson (nearly 6) to pick proper food rather than "sizzling sausages or fishy fingers". I encourage him to have steak or ribs :-) he loves them!

maman

I'm a big fan of sitting at the table for meals too. Sadly, some families don't even have tables any more. I remember watching a Jamie Oliver programme where he was trying to encourage people to cook and there was a little girl on there eating from a polystyrene tray of kebab meat sitting on the floor. The house was immaculate and the tv was massive but a table and proper food didn't feature. It was years ago but the image stuck.:(

onlyroz

My five year old niece is the world's faddiest eater. I think she lives off cheese on toast. Whenever my brother and his wife come to visit either us or my parents they bring separate food for their daughter. Even when my mum lays on a buffet from M&S with all sorts of stuff that a five year old should have no problems eating. And if she hasn't had her dinner by 5 pm and her shower by 6 pm the world will end.

amanda_p

We both worked, I was a teacher (infant) so home by 4.30. My husband worked in London and no, he didn't see them Monday to Thursday evenings because he didn't get home until 8.30pm/9.00pm. He would try to leave early on a Friday and they had a later bedtime then. We all survived.

sooty&sweep

Hi

When my children were younger they had tea during the week at nursery & we ate later. At the weekend I'd give them a tea at 5ish, something I knew they'd eat but we'd eat before they went to bed & I'd encourage them to try it.
I had no desire to have fish fingers etc that they wanted & they didn't always want what we were having.
Roll on 10 years & they eat what we eat & no I'm still not eating fish fingers! They have developed fairly adventurous eating habits.
Expecting a young child to wait until 7pm for tea is a big ask. Mine would want to fill up on snacks & wouldn't then be hungry to eat tea. However that doesn't mean that they can't be up & join in !
Its not always possible to eat as a family but it's not the only way of spending time together as a family.
Jen