A whole new world, for now

Cherryfudge

Well done for progress in work, vinted and weight loss. I'm a great fan of h/m veg soups as an investment in health in various ways - gradual weight loss, lots of veg, feeling full and having amazing flavours. Also a feeling of accomplishment. Be sure to share any particularly good recipes please!

in_need_of_direction

Cherry, I don’t use recipes for veg soup.  It’s just basic carrot, parsnip, leek, parsley and barley with a dash of Worcester sauce in stock.  For me, the absolute is to keep the veg chunky.  Yesterday we changed our minds about the freezer sort out.  Instead, we did a menu plan that will reduce contents and make for an easier sort out next weekend. I just need to avoid whoopsied temptations.  

3 further items went onto vinted.  Dh reckons he will add a few each weekend and hope for some churn.  

Yesterday I also made some overdue phone calls and am starting to ponder what I need from what’s close to being an empty nester house as opposed what used to be attended regularly by friends of the children. I’d still love to move and keep a sporadic eye on what’s out there but can see nothing worth the upheaval. 

Right, work is calling to me so I need to get motoring. Tonight I’ll be lucky to make it home for ten and have early starts wed and Thursday.

today I am grateful for
my tackling a problem head on though it may take a while to fully resolve
4 things leaving the house
a catch up with overseas sister

milann

I found the empty nest took some time to adapt to. It seems quiet for a long time but I got to enjoy it and changed the space for me. Which included getting offspring to take everything with them once that had permanent homes and not constantly moving from 1 studen place to the next. If they didn’t want things enough to cherish in their new homes - it wasn’t cluttering mine 😂😂😂😂 O course that all changed when Dd stayed down south and had her own offspring. My craft space etc had to be adapted to take fold out beds for 4 when they came to stay 🤔😂

beanielou

Yes, you adapt.  

in_need_of_direction

My problem is that I have adapted to them mainly not being here but appear to be operating a shrine to family life.  Do we need a monster bbq that hasn’t been used in two years and that, at best, was used 5 times a year? Why am I holding onto two additional tables on the off chance that we will host 40 people.  Plus I haven’t done anything with the stuff I got from my mum’s house. That isn’t our life, etc. it’s still very unclear for me as are financial considerations.  I sometimes wonder if I will ever be grown up enough to have a clear plan or purpose.
equally, I may just be feeling low as I didn’t get in from a client until after ten last night. 

Today is dh’s office day so I need to get him left off and to a ten o’clock meeting.  Today I am grateful for
a reliable car that helps with wet country roads in the dark
a matter approaching resolution 
toasted whoopsied bread for breakfast 

maggiem

I think it can be quite hard to adapt to being an empty nester. I still sometimes forget and do enough veg for 4 instead of just for 2. And I agree I find myself with things I don’t really need just for the couple of nights a year when I might need them. However you are very busy and it can be difficult to see the wood from the trees when juggling lots of things. Be kind to yourself. 

Cherryfudge

I found the whole thing about other people's things and things belonging in other stages of life was very confusing. When I was sorting out Mum's house, people used to ask me what the plan was and there was no plan apart from keeping on chipping away at it. I couldn't stand back enough from the situation to be objective.

My only advice is to role play being someone else and offer yourself advice, possibly in a 'what you need to do' tone of voice. You identified a few items in your post above that you are close to being ready to let go. Does anyone you know of need the spare tables? If not, perhaps it would help to think of 'setting them free' for someone who needs them and having a plan B for when forty people suddenly need dinner (borrow from a community hall or go out to eat?) With the BBQ, I don't think you are really planning any events and there's probably someone who would love it, but if you like to barbecue, treat yourselves to a smaller one. Perhaps ask yourself if you were spending the money now, is this what you would buy?

jwil

Things always seem worse when tired.  Hope you manage to get some rest.

milann

Not surprised you’re feeling tired if you were working until 10 😳 Don’t forget to give yourself’me time’ 

in_need_of_direction

Well, had a bit of a work upset on Wednesday and reverted to type making an expensive unplanned purchase.  I confessed to dh that evening who basically pointed out that it was something I’d wanted for quite a while and that the money was available to cover it.  I’m still annoyed with myself so am frantically looking at how to claw money back.  I’ve decided to cut back on massage / reiki to save £35 a fortnight. That would equate to 20 months.  While working in Dublin yesterday, I paid euros that I already had rather than putting groceries on the credit card.  It needs to be about refocus.
with regard to the work thing, it’s just a question of chalking up to experience and moving on.  

I can’t believe how easy it was for me to lapse back to emotional spending.  Today I am going to refocus on prioritising my other clients and getting things up to date and scheduled.  But first, I am digging out woolly socks as it is cold.  I had to rearrange my counselling session this week so that will be at 11 today.  Right, I should manage an hour’s work between now and then to get matters underway.

today I am grateful for
seeing how to recover financially 
whoopsied items t some of which have already been used
a nice client engagement yesterday