A whole new world, for now

24ta

Happy New Year INOD

in_need_of_direction

Thank you all for your concern and your good wishes. Here’s to a great 2022 for all of us.  As some will know, I haven’t been absent from the diaries, I just lurked.  That has to change.  Basically I got so overwhelmed by life that articulating this made it more real and I could not cope with enhanced reality.  The thing is, it’s not that my life was so much worse than anyone else’s, in some ways it was probably better, clearly my coping mechanisms aren’t.  

Bear with me, there’s a back story to my re emergence. A friend has previously bought me a few books by Domonique Bertolucci.  This was added to by DH at Christmas with one called Less is More, 101 ways to simplify your life.  Yesterday while we were doing our annual Christmas tree burning, I picked up the book and flicked through it.  There were a few things resonated and one related to how the things you dislike in others are probably things you dislike about yourself.  

Just a few minutes earlier, I’d been annoyed to see the multi ways used for the tree lights left at the sitting room door by dh when their home was only down the hall.  I’ve also been aware that he will frequently declare that something is a job for tomorrow while I think, why not now? 

So, with my newly gained insight, I realised that the only difference between us is that he consciously chooses to delay whereas I just procrastinate while deluding myself that it’s me being busy.  This busyness can include doing sb or prolific surveys, reading diaries instead of delivering lucrative assignments for clients.  Seriously I am freewheeling through life adding to my stresses by things not being done.  That includes updating here.  It gets to the point where there is so much to update that I don’t know where to start.  I also read diaries here where people are coping with real issues and am ashamed by my first world problems that threaten to completely derail me. 

So, having said all of that, I’m hopefully back.  Please feel free to call me out if I’m being ridiculous, I need the sense check.  I also need to be part of something.  The things I have done to cope with covid have left me feeling very isolated. 

I will come back later today with an update.  In the meantime, today I am grateful for 

you lovely people, your support and your inspiration 
the continued presence of the 4 legged fiend in our life
despite an upward creep, my weekly weigh in today still registered as 1lb under 13 stone

jwil

Lovely to hear from you again.

Good luck with making progress this year.

I always feel sad when people say their problems don't matter just because other people have it worse.  Unless you are the unluckiest person in the world, there will always be someone in a worse situation, but it doesn't mean that your problems aren't valid and that they aren't real for you.  Do use your diary to vent if it helps you.

pennywisepoundstupid

jwil said:

Lovely to hear from you again.

Good luck with making progress this year.

I always feel sad when people say their problems don't matter just because other people have it worse.  Unless you are the unluckiest person in the world, there will always be someone in a worse situation, but it doesn't mean that your problems aren't valid and that they aren't real for you.  Do use your diary to vent if it helps you.

Ditto from me, take care xx

Lookafterthepennies2020

Glad to hear you will be updating us 😊 I will be cheering along 🥳

Cherryfudge

in_need_of_direction said:

... the things you dislike in others are probably things you dislike about yourself.  

Just a few minutes earlier, I’d been annoyed to see the multi ways used for the tree lights left at the sitting room door by dh when their home was only down the hall.  I’ve also been aware that he will frequently declare that something is a job for tomorrow while I think, why not now? 

So, with my newly gained insight, I realised that the only difference between us is that he consciously chooses to delay whereas I just procrastinate while deluding myself that it’s me being busy.  This busyness can include doing sb or prolific surveys, reading diaries instead of delivering lucrative assignments for clients.  Seriously I am freewheeling through life adding to my stresses by things not being done.  That includes updating here.  It gets to the point where there is so much to update that I don’t know where to start.  I also read diaries here where people are coping with real issues and am ashamed by my first world problems that threaten to completely derail me. 

From a fellow-procrastinator, this is interesting and insightful! Perhaps you have more than enough, in terms of work problems or other things that feature large, to take up your energies and these things that look as though they are little are, in reality, the proverbial straw that the camel can't cope with? After all you have a lot to carry job-wise and you probably feel in need of a break when not in work.

 It's also very tempting for those of us with other halves to see their faults as part of our problem and feel we are being made to carry those too. (I notice when DH leaves bits of paperwork by the computer but he points out most of the rest of the house is full of my papers! Each of us is mentally carrying the problem the other has created.)

I seem to remember though that you've made a good dint in these petty trip hazards in the past. I can't remember how you phrased it but it was along the lines of them being small things that needed action and once the action was taken, your path ahead was smoother.

In the interests of smoothing the road around chez Fudge, I'm going to clear my hairclips that I left on the dining table and put away all the tote bags that have mysteriously spread themselves through the downstairs of the house.

Looking forward to your update later.

doingitanyway

good to see the update. covid has affected us all in different ways. we are all muddling through. sending you a hug.

beanielou

jwil said:

Lovely to hear from you again.

Good luck with making progress this year.

I always feel sad when people say their problems don't matter just because other people have it worse.  Unless you are the unluckiest person in the world, there will always be someone in a worse situation, but it doesn't mean that your problems aren't valid and that they aren't real for you.  Do use your diary to vent if it helps you.

Absolutley this.
Good to see you  xx

Buffythedebtslayer

jwil said:

Lovely to hear from you again.

Good luck with making progress this year.

I always feel sad when people say their problems don't matter just because other people have it worse.  Unless you are the unluckiest person in the world, there will always be someone in a worse situation, but it doesn't mean that your problems aren't valid and that they aren't real for you.  Do use your diary to vent if it helps you.

I also agree with this. Buddhists say (I think) that everyone suffers, no one has any more or less pain, it just looks that way. One of my dear friends (who reminds me so much of you) is always ignoring her problems or feelings and dismisses them always with the excuse that they aren't real problems. But it is the life you lead, the good and the bad in your life that you deal with. It should be acknowledged. We all have our lessons to learn. 
Am glad you are back 
XXX 

in_need_of_direction

Two days in a row, go me! 

Thank you all for the encouragement and support. It really does make a difference.  Yesterday we continued the post Christmas clear up, there’s still more to do.  We did identify one Christmas item that is now en route to the charity shop bag (when I find it) Neither of us like it and there is no emotional attachment so it goes.  It really shouldn’t be any more difficult than that.  

We also identified some items that remain downstairs but are only used at Christmas.  These have been packed up, labelled and are going with the decorations. That has freed up a drawer in one room and space in a drawer in another. 

This year, I made only one ny resolution. It’s to try a do one thing each day that improves my life. I have had a lovely little green silk covered notebook for years that had half a page used.  I now right a note each day when I’ve done my one thing.  So far, there is only one blank but that could be more down to a poor memory!

right, I need to crack on.  Today I am grateful for 
contact from family
a second cup of tea
possibly finding the right place for something