A whole new world, for now

Cherryfudge

It's such a tough time, I can't blame you for wanting to buy stuff, eat sugar and be angry at your DH (who really could do more to help!). I think it might help you to take someone different when you go to your appointment, as you suggest.

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Today my bs is back in the high range. I am being a muppet and using stuff as an excuse to consume sugar. I have proven to myself that I don’t need it so why am I doing this?

Um, not entirely sure about this but I suspect a mixture of needing a break, wanting a reward or treat and wanting someone to step in and rescue you (and to be fair, I think that's just human. After all, we're made with a need to relax, to have nice things in our lives and to give and receive help).

I don't know whether this idea is any help, or feasible, but is there the leeway to provide an account for yourself into which you can transfer a small amount towards a big treat? If you really want that Cartier watch it might take a while, but £1 a day towards a spa day (or whatever) might work? You would have to set yourself some sort of limit as to how often and how much, but the act of transferring the money is a positive step to a goal - and I think you deserve a break.

jwil

You are not being a muppet, you've got a lot on your plate and not a lot of support. I hope you manage to have a relaxing weekend x

HairyHandofDartmoor

I'm really sorry that you're so worried about your mum INOD. You're under a lot of stress and it's an emotional time for you. You want to look after your mum and you need support yourself, and DH is not giving you enough. Does DH understand how bad you feel?

I do understand the urge to splurge and why you're eating. You're looking for comfort. But buying and eating won't help unfortunately. They're just a band aid for what you really need. You want your mum to get better and you want more support from DH.

If the urge to splurge really does get irresistable, then I agree that a list of things you need would be a better comfort buy than a Cartier watch.

Maybe a proper conversation with DH would help as Chrystal suggested?

beanielou

So sorry to read this
I am sorry I do not know what to say other than to look after yourself xx

in_need_of_direction

You lot are great! Thank you so much. Yesterday I worked a shift, then called with my mother than cam home and crashed for a few hours. Dinner then watched a movie, on my own, that was a bit of a feel good one. how to make an American quilt.

I then asked if he wanted a conversation then or this morning. It’s happening after breakfast. My mum was in quite good form, she has no idea what happens now she has stopped treatment and is in no hurry to find out. I left her in some bits and pieces. It was quite sad as she gave me all her Euro change as I’m back in Dublin on Monday. She was previously a great one for jumping on a train and taking a day trip. This is her drawing a line even though it’s been more than 2 years since she did anything like that.

When I got home, dh had inventoried part of the freezer and was pulling together a meal plan. Cos that is clearly the most pressing thing to be addressed. We have the damp, etc. Work starting on Monday, may not be able to access the kitchen fully but clearly a meal plan that we may not be able to follow is a priority.
I gave him the date of my procedure. He has said that he will take me. I’m giving it until the week before and if he hasn’t made any driving progress, I’m sorting out someone else and don’t care about sparing his blushes.

Today is the second day in a row that my bs has been back in range. I will be focusing on this particularly pre surgery as the higher your bs, the more risk of scarring. I also feel better when it’s in range. This morning’s conversation with mr wii also showed a 2lb weight loss. This is good as it gives me a buffer between me and obese which does help.

On money news, I now have enough in the business account to extract the £2k float I left there at my year end. I am going to transfer to premium bonds as I’d sooner have more than needed in there to pay my tax bill than less. I also chased up some unpaid invoices and have identified some to get issued. I now have a less than one week deadline to get 4 things over the line and that’s what I’ll be doing today along with ironing.
But first, I’m drawing up a discussion document to address with dh!

Today I am grateful for
My virtual cheerleading team who pitch in with advice and encouragement, it really is appreciated
The bouncing penny having yet again dropped where my bs is concerned
Having choices

Cherryfudge

I hope the conversation goes well for both of you.
Good to hear about the weight and bs.

beanielou

Cherryfudge wrote: »

I hope the conversation goes well for both of you.
Good to hear about the weight and bs.

From me too.

Verbatim

Hope the conversation gies/went well. Great to hear about your bs and weight loss.

jwil

Hope the conversation went well. Well done on the weight loss and bs :T

in_need_of_direction

The conversation was had. Apparently he’s been researching and working on some of the matters raised but, as usual, didn’t see the need to mention this. He did a short drive on Sunday night as I was dropping stuff to my sister.

I am tired. Yesterday I was in Dublin all day, met a client at five, ended up going for dinner, stopped off in Aldi on way home and got in around ten to eleven. It was a long day but a productive one. That said, I spent more than €100 in Aldi. Lots of protein, fruit and veg was purchased plus a set of tables and a rack for the shower room. In the main, these were researched and planned purchases.

Our builder was provisionally scheduled for yesterday but didn’t appear. I just hope when he comes that he gets finished up before the weekend. I also need to chase up the man who said he would do the hedges. Today I need to go to that client plus get various other things done for other clients. Still, busy is good. This evening I am going to attempt to get the kitchen tv working provided the builder hasn’t started working in it. If I can get it tuned in to bbc, I will iron while EastEnders and Holby are on.

Today I am grateful for
Productive time
A comfy bed
The possibility of matters being resolved