A whole new world, for now

in_need_of_direction

So, American dr google says stress can increase bs, uk dr google says it can cause them to fall. I’ve decided that it’s probab a time lag thing as today’s reading was in the 5s. Yesterday I ate almost constantly, I just seemed permanently hungry. Also, I ended up being at the client later than intended as a contractor took their own sweet time to start and then worked at their own pace. I have been told that he is to be kept on for another year. If he’s there in 2 months, I won’t be.

On the home front, dh and I are barely talking. This has been building and reached a bad place last week but I suggested that we park it over his birthday which for him equalled things having magically gone away. The most pressing issue now is that he hates to drive but I need him to drive on Friday when we get to the hospital. He’s not comfortable or familiar with the car as he doesn’t drive. This is a concern as one evening I had low blood sugar and ended up sitting eating sugars in a car park waiting for my levels to rise sooner than him get behind the wheel. After that he promised to make more of an effort but he’s promised that before e.g. last year when his delightful parents were over but I still ended up with all the driving. Yesterday we drove to the hospital, I dealt with where I would be getting out and then drove to on street parking that he could use where there were no right turns on the route. We circled back and were to swap seats so he could try but he just didn’t make a move. Given this was on a hospital site, I didn’t think we could sit there any longer. Apparently he’s gonna do it tonight. I am so so annoyed. He’s great at doing stuff but it’s generally stuff he’s comfortable doing and that I could do e.g. dinner. He just doesn’t shift from his comfort zone. I’m annoyed at myself that I’ve enabled this for so long. I don’t like driving, I don’t want to make the money decisions, I don’t want to decide what dinner is every night. Maybe I’m being ridiculous but I can only cope with so much at a time and at the minute, of necessity, it has to be my family stuff and particularly my mother. I shouldn’t have to worry about him being comfortable parking a car.

Sorry, here endeth the rant.
Today I am grateful for
Input from dd
Being able to dismiss a problem
Greatly improved bs

beanielou

Good news on the BS.
If you cant rant on your diary wherecan you rant
xx

Chrystal

You're not being ridiculous. Unless someone is physically or mentally disabled they should be able to take their fair share of responsibility, and that includes all the things you're talking about.
I do agree that you've probably enabled this behaviour - sometimes it seems easier to give in and do it rather than have full blown rows, but long term it's just making things worse.... ask me how I know! :eek:
Time for a sit down and an adult discussion I think, but be prepared to have every excuse under the sun thrown in your direction. :cool:
Perhaps try the 'timer' method where one has to listen, without interruption, for a set amount of time (2 mins?) and then the other one has to listen to the the same length of time etc etc. Thing is you both need to REALLY listen, and perhaps some compromises can be made.
Hope you manage to sort something out, I think you have enough on your plate at the moment. (((hugs)))

jwil

If it's somewhere he needs to go, would he still go if you point blank refused to?

Everything falls to me too here, and it's exhausting. I've started refusing to do stuff and DH is stepping out of his comfort zone a bit more.

Buffythedebtslayer

One of the biggest things I realised is true INOD is that we only have so much decision making capacity. Studies have been done to show by the end of the day or by the end of a event/situation our ability to make choices is much less. Constantly being the one who makes all the choices is exhausting.

Also I hate driving, only learnt cos of Mum and I do get the right turn thing but can't drive in circles for ever! Come on Mr INOD, sort it out!

in_need_of_direction

Jwil, it isn’t somewhere he needs to go. It’s to facilitate me taking my mum for her radiotherapy. I would drive over but she then needs a wheelchair and would be more comfortable with me taking her into the clinic than me dropping the two of them, parking the car and catching up then doing it all in reverse to go home. Events have somewhat moved things on as she said yesterday that she’s not up to it.

Right now I’m not sure where things are or where my head is. I’m just so annoyed that there was no suggestion that he’d try to drive just in case it gets rescheduled

Buffythedebtslayer

I am sure you know this, but the hospital can arrange transport if she is not up to going in the car.

I would be really disappointed with him to be honest. Its not like you are wanting a lift to the shops. Would you consider a cab?

Hope Mum is ok and that you are ok, you have to take care of yourself to take care of others XXX

beanielou

Sorry that your mum is not up to it. Xx

milann

I’m a coward at driving - when my dh had a seizure and couldn’t drive - I tried to drive further a field with dh ‘encouraging’ me but I ended up a quivering mess - we went on public transport to a hospital I’d have had to use the motorway for....so I sympathise with him on that front but he should contribute to everything else.

in_need_of_direction

I hate driving too. But, I’ve accepted it’s a necessary evil. Things have remained strained and it’s wearing me down. Work did not go well yesterday and I’m just tired of it all. I got home yesterday to a letter giving me a date for a day procedure but the hospital is 14 miles away. I couldn’t even tell him. Last time, I had to drive, find a suitable car park space and then, post surgery, suffer his angst on the way home. I can’t deal with that right now and may ask another family member or friend to come with me. I don’t think I should have to.
I’m also trying to come to terms with what the outcome will be for my mother. I’m struggling and have spent a lot of time looking at luxury items I could buy on line. So far, I haven’t succumbed but it may only be a matter of time. I’m thinking that if I draw up a list of stuff that’s needed, it may mean that at least any splurge would be on things to be purchased at some point as opposed to a Cartier watch - I kid you not!

Last night I fired up my laptop, issued an invoice and chased up 3 others. Hopefully this time next week I will get a payment. I also have other invoices etc that I need to issue and work that needs completed. I have a one week deadline to get a number of things done. I also need to be distracted.

Today my bs is back in the high range. I am being a muppet and using stuff as an excuse to consume sugar. I have proven to myself that I don’t need it so why am I doing this?

Today I am grateful for
A conversation with a sibling
Progress
Starting to tackle the business financials