Neighbours over the road - Antisocial/illegal behavior - or just me being intolerant?

Cakeguts

They won't care about the fences because those belong to the landlord who may not know that these children are destroying them They don't care about the bins because those probably came with the house so the only real damage they might be doing is to the car. You might have to wait until the landlord finds out about his fences or the children break something on the car that costs the parents money to repair. The only other thing is a nice lot of rain for a few days while the children are still on holiday. I hope the landlord let the property unfurnished.....

Arleen

ThursdaysChild wrote: »

I don't care if they damage their own car/bins/fences etc, but the issue I have with it is more the almost constant level of noise caused by doing that. They do seem to understand that they can't climb over my car for example (well... I've never seen them do that anyway! :cool:)

Actually I'm pretty sure the parents are aware (just due to the fact that I know for sure they are at home as I've seen them, must be able to hear it even from indoors) so I can only assume that they aren't concerned by it as they haven't really tried to stop the kids - maybe a half hearted "for ****s sake! shut up with that!" here and there, etc.

Welcome to the world of parenting, where everyone tells you how to raise your kids - especially people without them. Parents usually know better.

Seriously, just because they don't raise them to your quiet standard doesn't mean they are not paying attention, or don't care, or are bad parents. It just means they raise them to standard other than "make sure to always be quiet and not play on the safe part of a street".

teddysmum

Arleen wrote: »

Yep, go to the police because kids play ball on the cul-de-sac of a street. Provide them with a park nearby, with goal posts, guaranteed that they will migrate most of their play there.

It's funny how on one side we want kids to not sit in front of PCs, and on the other, we get annoyed by kids playing outside. Look back into your youth times and how loud and obnoxious some of those games were. Nothing has changed that way.

I was brought up in an area of Edwardian terraces and if someone told you off for being noisy (ie running past their house, shouting) you apologised and behaved properly or your parents would be livid.


My husband was a real 'varmint' though. He and his friend lived in posher , large Victorian houses near a park and would often play Knock and Run. One day he and his friend were in trouble, so left home and moved into a tree house in the park, but his friend's mum caught them and gave them both a hiding. They didn't do that again.


Quite right that parents shouldn't beat their children up, but making them afraid od even a quick slap has caused damage.


When I started teaching in the early 70s children were well behaved at school as the 'knowledge' that the heads of department had 'slippers' was enough. (I never knew of anyone actually being whacked and doubt the existence of these 'slippers' , except the pump belonging to the PE department which was a little over the top with boys' discipline.)


Then children were told about their rights and began the threats of prosecution, if they were hit or even reprimanded, eventually.

ThursdaysChild

Arleen wrote: »

Welcome to the world of parenting, where everyone tells you how to raise your kids - especially people without them. Parents usually know better.

Seriously, just because they don't raise them to your quiet standard doesn't mean they are not paying attention, or don't care, or are bad parents. It just means they raise them to standard other than "make sure to always be quiet and not play on the safe part of a street".

Sorry, I seem to have hit a nerve! Admittedly I'm "childless by choice" so I don't have much knowledge about parenting, but I certainly don't expect silence all the time, and I do like (in a healthy way!) to see children playing with footballs etc rather than just sit around indoors as I'm happy that they are being active and all that. I wish I had the energy that they have!

But isn't there a threshold of "acceptable" levels of noise (especially over a sustained period like 6 hours or more) that people could be upset by?

I'm not going on about a few "bashes and bangs" of footballs here and there. It's a sustained shouting, bashing, banging, footballs bounced off garage doors over and over and over..

Cakeguts

Apart from the family over the road and their hangers on children do any of the local children play with the ones over the road in the road? It may be that this particular family are not what you would normally expect for the area that you live in which is why it appears to be so annoying. It is also possible that the parents of these children grew up in an area where all children played in the road and so they won't see that it might be a problem to anyone else.

I can see that if there are constantly lots of children from other areas turning up and using your road as a playground that it would be annoying.

I don't think there is really anything you can do about it unless they start to damage property because there are just too many of them in a small road.

Arleen

teddysmum wrote: »

I was brought up in an area of Edwardian terraces and if someone told you off for being noisy (ie running past their house, shouting) you apologised and behaved properly or your parents would be livid.


My husband was a real 'varmint' though. He and his friend lived in posher , large Victorian houses near a park and would often play Knock and Run. One day he and his friend were in trouble, so left home and moved into a tree house in the park, but his friend's mum caught them and gave them both a hiding. They didn't do that again.


Quite right that parents shouldn't beat their children up, but making them afraid od even a quick slap has caused damage.


When I started teaching in the early 70s children were well behaved at school as the 'knowledge' that the heads of department had 'slippers' was enough. (I never knew of anyone actually being whacked and doubt the existence of these 'slippers' , except the pump belonging to the PE department which was a little over the top with boys' discipline.)


Then children were told about their rights and began the threats of prosecution, if they were hit or even reprimanded, eventually.

And what is your point? I can only guess it to be that when kids were beaten, the world was better, is that is? Because for the threat to work, they must receive an occasional beating, it doesn't work on a promise. You are also confusing "afraid of a beating" with "well behaved" and that frustration that went unaddressed in school had to vent elsewhere.

But hey, let's extend that idea. I think that people online misbehave, and suggest ideas for that kids should be beaten for what others, not their parents, consider as misbehaving. I think those people should be beaten. Now not savagely send to a hospital, but they shouldn't be afraid of a quick slap or knee to the gut. I imagine that you sign up to this idea? Because if you do, write your MP about it. And if you don't, then why do you think that kids should have less protection?

As you were teaching in the 70s, I can imagine that you were raised in times where thrashing kids was the responsible thing to do. I feel sorry that you had to live through that. Luckily time moved on, and we don't consider that beating people is a way to resolve problems anymore.

Arleen

ThursdaysChild wrote: »

Sorry, I seem to have hit a nerve! Admittedly I'm "childless by choice" so I don't have much knowledge about parenting, but I certainly don't expect silence all the time, and I do like (in a healthy way!) to see children playing with footballs etc rather than just sit around indoors as I'm happy that they are being active and all that. I wish I had the energy that they have!

But isn't there a threshold of "acceptable" levels of noise (especially over a sustained period like 6 hours or more) that people could be upset by?

I'm not going on about a few "bashes and bangs" of footballs here and there. It's a sustained shouting, bashing, banging, footballs bounced off garage doors over and over and over..

It's a nerve that every parent gets with their first child - no kidding .

There is no legal threshold for noise during the day. Some sources are wrong if for example, someone ran a noisy business in an area not zoned for it - but that is about it.
What you can do is invest in soundproofing of your windows. Proper double glazed and soundproofed windows will make your house nice and quiet, even with noisiest of kids around. And it's not unreachably expensive to do either. Or maybe run a local initiative to get a park suitable for kids somewhere nearby, surely they must be some unused green patch around.

Because ultimately this is a problem with you, not the kids playing. Because where there are children, there is noise. And if they will stop jumping on cars/banging the bins, they will find some other activity which will be as noisy. It's just how it is.

teddysmum

Arleen wrote: »

And what is your point? I can only guess it to be that when kids were beaten, the world was better, is that is? Because for the threat to work, they must receive an occasional beating, it doesn't work on a promise. You are also confusing "afraid of a beating" with "well behaved" and that frustration that went unaddressed in school had to vent elsewhere.

But hey, let's extend that idea. I think that people online misbehave, and suggest ideas for that kids should be beaten for what others, not their parents, consider as misbehaving. I think those people should be beaten. Now not savagely send to a hospital, but they shouldn't be afraid of a quick slap or knee to the gut. I imagine that you sign up to this idea? Because if you do, write your MP about it. And if you don't, then why do you think that kids should have less protection?

As you were teaching in the 70s, I can imagine that you were raised in times where thrashing kids was the responsible thing to do. I feel sorry that you had to live through that. Luckily time moved on, and we don't consider that beating people is a way to resolve problems anymore.

What a silly over the top response.


I clearly mention that beating is not appropriate, but that parents' rights to a slap have been taken away, making some completely ineffective.


Again, clearly, I stated that the school I worked in, with the exception of (Male ) PE staff, no teacher used corporal punishment. There was just a rumour about Mr Morgan's and Mr Cope's 'slipper' passed on from older family.


With reference to your last sentence: Children assaulting other pupils and staff and preventing those who want to learn from doing so is progress ? Problems certainly aren't resolved and that's why teacher recruitment is at an alltime low.

ThursdaysChild

Cakeguts wrote: »

Apart from the family over the road and their hangers on children do any of the local children play with the ones over the road in the road? It may be that this particular family are not what you would normally expect for the area that you live in which is why it appears to be so annoying. It is also possible that the parents of these children grew up in an area where all children played in the road and so they won't see that it might be a problem to anyone else.

I can see that if there are constantly lots of children from other areas turning up and using your road as a playground that it would be annoying.

I don't think there is really anything you can do about it unless they start to damage property because there are just too many of them in a small road.

From what I can tell based on occasionally observing (because I don't know them at all well) the ones doing this are a family/extended-family group - mostly brothers/sisters but maybe some extended family relationships like nieces/nephews/cousins etc I think - but I don't think there are any "strangers" from other unrelated families in the neighbourhood.

The rest of the houses here are singles, couples etc but relatively few children.

Cakeguts

ThursdaysChild wrote: »

From what I can tell based on occasionally observing (because I don't know them at all well) the ones doing this are a family/extended-family group - mostly brothers/sisters but maybe some extended family relationships like nieces/nephews/cousins etc I think - but I don't think there are any "strangers" from other unrelated families in the neighbourhood.

The rest of the houses here are singles, couples etc but relatively few children.

How big are the houses? Is the house they are living in suitable for the parents plus 5 or 6 children?