feel so stupid

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

elsien wrote: »

Bravepants, if the OP is genuine which is entirely possible, you're really not helping. Report it if you feel it necessary but baiting the OP for a response isn't ok.

I think he's helping a lot more than the well-meaning people who are encouraging the OP's idiotic behaviour. The best reaction he should get here is to be told to go somewhere more suited to his problems, if he has problems. He's wasting his own time.

Mr.Generous

There are always people better off and people worse off than you. Accept that and stop trying to compete. Just be yourself. Girls and women like men who are interested in them and listen, and do interesting stuff. Get a paper round, it shows commitment to work and a work ethic. It will pay buttons and be a pain in the rear, which is why anyone who can do a paper round for a couple of years always looks good to employers. Once you have a job you will meet loads of females with any luck. Then you can sow your wild oats.

sam_m

marliepanda wrote: »

This isnt what I am saying at all, and I think you know this.

If it isn't your autism that is stopping you getting a girlfriend and a job, then what is it?

Why don't girls want to come up and talk to you? Do they look at you and think 'well he looks nice but I reckon his stepbrother who I dont even know about is cooler so I shan't bother talking to him.'

They don't even know my stepbrother and i don't know why girls don't want to come up and talk to me. What are you saying then, what do you advice

GlasweJen

sam_m wrote: »

They don't even know my stepbrother and i don't know why girls don't want to come up and talk to me. What are you saying then, what do you advice

Take it from a fellow HFA (actually high functioning with high IQ, job, husband etc) somehow neurotypicals know that you're not quite right. I don't know if I speak too fast, about the wrong subjects, wear the wrong clothes or am just a weirdo and I don't know it but I've struggled to make friends since I first stepped into a nursery.

Yes I have friends now, not loads but a few who I think I'm fairly close to. The trick is to own it. I'm obsessed by travel, I have lists of countries I want to visit, cities I want to see, restaurants I want to eat in etc. At work I'm the "go to" person if you want a restaurant recommendation or a hotel in the U.K. I don't mention travel abroad so much as it's easy to stray into pretentious Pratt territory though if I'm asked I'll comment on cities I've visited.

My friends know about the travel and get me to help arrange holidays and get aways which I love doing.

You need to work on masking more, find someone who can help with your outbursts and hone a 'working personality' even if you shrug it off when you come through the door every day.

Sncjw

I have always had some form of hearing loss but when I totally lost it on my right side. I had 6 months without any hearing aids. I had a couple of breakdowns in that time because of the long wait. I got removed from my uni course.

I could have wallowed and be angry at everyone but I changed my path. Nothing will change and bring it back. The only thing that can change is my attitude to it:

I started to look for work anywhere that's possible. This meaning there's a lot of jobs I can't do. I was on very low hours in my job due to my hearing issues.

I sat and wrote down the positives of me. I put them in applications. I went from student nurse/shelf filler to doing admin without any experience. In my application I put although I don't have experience I am willing to undertake any training required. By training me you will have someone trained to the needs of the business.

You have to try and spin things into a positive.

People ask me how are you so positive with my issues as I have other health problems. Well there's no point in Being down because I can't change it and there's worse off out there.

Sncjw

Just to add I'm 27 and living at home because I can't afford to move out and I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't for 7 years. Yeah I get lonely at times not to the point to feel jealous of my sibling and my cousins.

Sncjw

If you want to work in travel and tourism why not do a qualification in relation to that.

marliepanda

He was proud of himself the other day for actually making his own bed for the first time! He is 24 years old, or so he says! 24!.

Assuming he is genuine and was genuinely told that he was high functioning, this is exactly why it is a dangerous phrase to be throw around.

prosaver

i found negativity seeps in my soul from negative people

Bravepants

jobbingmusician wrote: »

I suggest you go away and read up a little about autism. Not understanding how others think is THE primary feature of the condition. What you have just said is like saying that someone with one leg can't chat to you as you walk to school together.

What I said was that no-one here can help him with his actual needs and he is wasting his time, and everyone else's. I can go away and read up all month on autism, it does not mean that I will then be qualified to be able to help Sam. No more qualified than anyone else on here is. He will not get the support he needs on the MSE forums. He himself has demonstrated this time and time again.