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Your views please! Re who really ruins a relationship?

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Comments

  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 7,237 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Cortney wrote: »
    I think the unfaithful partner usually ruin the marriage. But if he is unhappy with his wife, maybe she is doing something wrong...
    Even if one party is doing something wrong, it is up to the other to say so, plainly and directly, so that the problem may be resolved or the relationship ended, rather than starting up a relationship with someone else.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • Cortney
    Cortney Posts: 15 Forumite
    Yes, you are right...
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,902 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    onomatopoeia99 wrote: »
    Even if one party is doing something wrong, it is up to the other to say so, plainly and directly, so that the problem may be resolved or the relationship ended, rather than starting up a relationship with someone else.

    What about when they have tried to discuss it but the other partner does not want to know and they can not afford to move out and or do not want to be parted from their children?
  • tensandunits_2
    tensandunits_2 Posts: 919 Forumite
    Guest101 wrote: »
    Because without her the marriage was clearly great....

    Not her business whether the marriage was good, bad or neither. If she knows he's married but chooses to get involved with a married man that's totally immoral.
    It is not because things are difficult that we dare not venture
    It is because we dare not venture that they are difficult

    SENECA
  • fairy_lights
    fairy_lights Posts: 9,220 Forumite
    tensandunits wrote: »
    Not her business whether the marriage was good, bad or neither. If she knows he's married but chooses to get involved with a married man that's totally immoral.
    It's a pretty !!!! move of her, but I still wouldn't say she was responsible for destroying the relationship because maintaining the relationship wasn't her responsibility in the first place.
  • tensandunits_2
    tensandunits_2 Posts: 919 Forumite
    fairy_lights wrote: »
    It's a pretty !!!! move of her, but I still wouldn't say she was responsible for destroying the relationship because maintaining the relationship wasn't her responsibility in the first place.

    No I think that's buckpassing. People need to take responsibility for their own actions. 'I wouldn't steal her husband if he didn't want to be stolen' is a disgraceful attitude to take.
    It is not because things are difficult that we dare not venture
    It is because we dare not venture that they are difficult

    SENECA
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,902 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    tensandunits wrote: »
    No I think that's buckpassing. People need to take responsibility for their own actions. 'I wouldn't steal her husband if he didn't want to be stolen' is a disgraceful attitude to take.

    People are not possessions, you cannot steal them.
  • tensandunits_2
    tensandunits_2 Posts: 919 Forumite
    POPPYOSCAR wrote: »
    People are not possessions, you cannot steal them.

    Only very few people have an open marriage. If somebody is married they are 'taken'. The rest is just semantics.
    It is not because things are difficult that we dare not venture
    It is because we dare not venture that they are difficult

    SENECA
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    tensandunits wrote: »
    Not her business whether the marriage was good, bad or neither. If she knows he's married but chooses to get involved with a married man that's totally immoral.
    Yes it is, but it's not 'ruining a marriage'


    The marriage is already ruined if one party is seeking an affair.
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,902 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    tensandunits wrote: »
    Only very few people have an open marriage. If somebody is married they are 'taken'. The rest is just semantics.

    Marriage is a contract.

    It is up to the parties that made that contract to keep to the terms.

    No one else can break that contract other than themselves.
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