Have you just never settled in a house?

Alarae

I bought my first house with my OH about two years ago. We stretched our budget so we could buy a three bed instead of a two bed, with the view we could spend the rest of our lives here as it is a family home.

Do I love it? Short answer, no. It is bricks and mortar to me. I don't care what it looks like, as long as I have a roof over my head. It's in a fab area, five minute walk to the shops, good for commuting, good schools within walking distance for when the time comes but... eh.

I don't think I have settled into any house since moving out of my family home at 11 when my parents split. That home is still owned by my dad, and is still what I consider to be the ideal home (even though the third bedroom is a box!).

Maybe I'm muddling family memories with the ideal of being 'settled', as I have never truly been 'home' since I was 11.

Luckily I'm a rational creature and I refuse to spend money on moving for no reason. I do hope to move to a three bed semi at some point though- as a terrace with a family on one side with rather heavy feet, it gets a bit annoying.

moneyistooshorttomention

I think you may have hit the nail on head in a way about different peoples attitudes to a particular house. You don't really feel that any house per se is a "home" - as you didnt really have one as a child.

Maybe it's similar for me - as I was an armed forces kid in my earliest years and then, when my parents settled somewhere a bit later, they were still climbing the housing ladder and hence moved from the first house they bought there to another one there (which they still have).

Hence I guess why maybe we are more prone personally to taking a "rational" stance on this. Some of us might do so more than others - eg I took the "rational" stance of "Well - this particular house is the best one I can see for my money in current area that I can afford" and proceeded to buy it - despite having realised on viewing that I had a problem neighbour next door (didnt even have to move in to be aware they would be:() - but "rational mind" said "Well......houses are pretty permanent. Neighbours arent" and I bought it anyway.

Mrs_Z

Hi,
Yes we lived in our first house for 18 years and I didn't love it. We bought the house as first time buyers and it was a bit of a compromise. I was also keen to get on the ladder (husband not so as was happy renting) and also pretty fed up after 1 year or so spent looking. The house was ok, I din't hate it by any means but I always had a sort of niggly feeling about it. The plan was to stay for 5 years or so and then move again, but life took over and finally, 3 years ago, for no particular reason other than I decided that the time had come we started looking and finally found our dream house.
There is only 1 slight compromise with this one; it doesn't come with acres but neither does any other house in this locality nr town centre :rotfl:
We loved the house from the moment we walked in, and still do. It absolutely fits us 100% but I still have a feeling that once I retire, I'd like to move further out and have acres but who knows - for now this is for keepers!

AnotherJoe

C.C.L. wrote: »

We're into our 8th year in this house, and I've not settled. I have no interest in it at all. On the surface it has everything going for it, nice town, 5mins walking from shops & supermarket, but I just don't like it. I've tried to motivate myself by reminding myself how lucky I am compared to a lot of people but I still feel the same. In fact I'm pretty close to hating the house and I would move tomorrow but have yet to see anything that we both like. My husband likes living here, likes the house & the area but so did I when we bought it, it was only when we started living in it that I discovered how I felt. Strange, we've moved lots of times but I've never felt like this. We both realise we need to move though but now I'm worried I'll feel like this again. Meanwhile the search continues.

Indeed. Seems to me if you cant pin down what it is about the house you dont like, why would you think it would be any different if you moved?

Fair enough if its the layout or the views or something similar thats not changeable but the OP didn't indicate that was the issue, just a vague dissatisfaction, which I wonder if its coming from somewhere else - dissatisfaction with job, life in general, partner, the town, whatever.

Newbie78

We moved in just over a month ago and have settled already, sometimes the dream is just making it through the process

The_Logans

Yes and no, I was happy in our current house to begin with but things about have started to niggle away at me (and my DH, but not to the same extent). So much so that we have decided to rent it out and move to a house that 'ticks all the boxes'. Good luck, I hope you find what you're looking for, either in your current house or your next one x

Noctu

Never settled in our old house. Within a few weeks of moving in the local chavs living opposite (no sign whatsoever of them on viewings!!) threatened me and my husband, and proceeded to intimidate us and others in the street with their behaviour. Long story, and long battle with the police - who knew them very well - and council to get it sorted.

It calmed down after a while but I was always on edge seeing them, especially as they lived directly opposite my house so visible through the windows.

The area also started to go further downhill in general.

So we never settled in that house, but stayed 7 long years whilst I was studying. As soon as I qualified and got a job -- as in, the same day I was told I'd got the job I'd applied for! -- we reserved a new build, part exchanged the old one, and moved in 3 months later.

That was 2 years ago and we love, love, love our new house. No horrible memories or experiences of antisocial behaviour etc.

Fosterdog

I was in one house for four years but it just never felt like home. Luckily it was only rented so not so much hassle to get away. The next house was also rented but it was the first house me and OH properly lived in together, before that we had separate places until just when we started looking for somewhere together and he moved in with me for a couple of months as a trial run and to save on rent.

The house we had together felt like home from day one and we stayed there for almost seven years before buying our current home, we wanted to buy it but the landlord wanted almost 30k over valuation price so we bought in the next street over instead, it isn't as perfect for us as the other house but it is a nice house, we are still working on it but have settled well. I haven't had the instant this feels like home moment that I had last time but I also don't have the unsettled feeling of it not being my home either.

haultips

Well this is my fourth house that I've shifted since 2010.

always_sunny

maybe you need to elaborate what you think/feel is 'settled'.
I like my flat, I like it very much, I feel settled for now in it but I don't believe I will live in it forever.

That feeling of being settle is more something in your head than in the property!