Have you just never settled in a house?

[Deleted User]

We've lived in our house for nearly 20 years and I wanted to move after a year because I just couldn't settle in it (my OH doesn't feel the same way but he doesn't love the house either). Due to money problems/job changes we've had to stay put, and then just got used to it. We've decorated & made it comfortable & have a lovely garden to sit out in. We have nice neighbours and it's a very pleasant road to live on (a cul de sac so quiet too). However, none of it has worked and I'm still "one foot out of the door." It's all becoming more of an issue because we're both retiring in a couple of years and now it's a question of: "are we doing jobs on the house to suit our retirement, or to sell it?" (those 2 are not compatible). Financially, it would make much better sense to stay put but, yet again, I just want to move (but couldn't tell you why).

Has anyone-else ever had this issue and how did they resolve it?

kerri_gt

Have you had a look at the local market / market where you do want to live? I'm usually financially cautious but when we bought house last year we went over our initial budget to get a house we were both happy with. Not sure it's our forever house but no plans to move ATM.

However I have seen sadly life is too short, and you need to be happy where you live, if you're in a position to move now to somewhere you will feel settle (bearing in mind you will likely spend more time in it when retired) then I'd say follow your heart.

Doozergirl

I didn't like this house. I wanted to move somewhere I'd be happy. I blamed my own problems on the house. We already moved a lot and this house was just another one on the way to something else. Not sure what.

When we're unhappy or uncomfortable with something, the first thing we try to change is our environment. I found my 'happy' in myself and I don't care to move at all anymore. We even have planning permission now to build our own house, but I'm comfortable!

If there's nothing to put a finger on, it might just be that niggling feeling that you'd be happier somewhere else. Truth is, wherever you go, there 'you' are so you'll not find that feeling in another place. Happy is inside, trying to get out!

AnotherJoe

Lovely neighbours, nice garden, quiet road. All by themselves good, all three together golden. Do you know what percentage of people move to get away from noisy roads or bad neighbours? So, by logic, if you move you are almost certain to get worse in one of both of those areas. So, why do you think you'd be better off elsewhere ?

Maybe there is something else wrong rather than with the house ?

NicNicP

I've not had that problem. More the opposite way round. We had no intentions of moving. Saw a house we liked the look of and after viewing it decided to put ours on the market. Even the day after we moved in I felt really settled and at home. More so than in the house we lived in very happily for 15 years.

moneyistooshorttomention

AnotherJoe wrote: »

Lovely neighbours, nice garden, quiet road. All by themselves good, all three together golden. Do you know what percentage of people move to get away from noisy roads or bad neighbours? So, by logic, if you move you are almost certain to get worse in one of both of those areas. So, why do you think you'd be better off elsewhere ?

Maybe there is something else wrong rather than with the house ?

There is a 4th factor here - ie does the house logically "fit the bill" of meeting requirements of being correct size/reasonable layout/etc. If that 4th requirement is also met - then personally I'd tell myself "Logic suggests that I won't do better than this to find a house without Problems - as so many houses do have at least one of these Problems" and decide to stay put bar a big stroke of luck putting me down beside My Personal Ideal Home at a time when it was up for sale and I could manage to afford it. I would always hope the odds might come up to get that situation - but I know realistically that they are pretty bad odds.

Mentally reviewing houses of people I know now (here or elsewhere) and the Problems their houses have are respectively:
- Japanese Knotweed in the garden (not mentioned by previous owner or surveyor)
- Ditto for another household
- Road their house is in has rather heavier traffic than they would like and noticeably polluted and house is terraced (with neighbours that don't maintain their property as well as they should)
- Semi-detached (rather than detached) and smaller than they would like and not the road/s they would like most

I can only think of one house without Problems (that's assuming my parents house is further than 200 metres from the nearest watercourse - a distance that hasnt been measured but might generate a "computer says no" problem on insurance - though it's not the slightest bit at risk). If it is over 200 metres (as I think it probably is) = house with no Problems. It's the only one I can think of.....:cool:

Bluebell1000

We've been in our current house for almost 6 years. We've added an extension, put in an amazing kitchen, redecorated throughout, have good size rooms and it's a nice house. We're in a fantastic location for the shops, half an hours walk from my work, on a quiet road, and know all the neighbours. Both my boys were born in the living room! I feel like I should love it and feel emotionally attached to it - my husband is certainly more attached than me. I think it's a nice house, and nothing more that that. I don't actually love it. Practically speaking, it's almost perfect, but I'm still browsing rightmove - just in case... :rotfl: So I know how you feel OP, but I don't have an answer!

zagubov

Our first house was charming but too small when our second child was on his way. The second house was near a great school, was bigger had a bigger driveway and garden, had more rooms, and in the few years we lived there it appreciated more value than I earned in my job. Just never fell in love with it.

Was totally cool with selling it and moving on.

hazyjo

Yup. I went completely loopy and moved out/sold. Everything went wrong from the second we bought it. It was hell buying it - took 5 long months. My FIL got cancer and died. My own dad died of cancer. My cat died, other friends were ill or having major probs, we'd got married not long before moving in, and ended up getting divorced.

I was staying in my BF's one bed flat with absolutely no mod cons (not even essentials like an oven) while my ex was in our 4 bed 4 storey 'luxury' house. I never officially moved out or anything, and would stay there now and again, but I felt like I was just squatting in a bedroom.

I then bought a lovely 3 bed terrace which me and the BF love with all our hearts. It's a happy lovely home which we absolutely cherish. We are moving soon, and I have to say it worries me a lot that I'll buy an unlucky house or something that we will never love as much as this one.

I've never been particularly keen on my parents' house either. Our first home (moved when I was around 9) was half the size, but a lovely happy home.

I'd go with my heart if I were in your shoes and move. Some houses just never feel right. Do whatever is right for you though!

Jx

Chanes

Don't underestimate how stressful moving is and think long and hard about leaving a very settled and quiet life where you are.

Then consider, you may never move again and will you ever be happy about that?

glasgowdan

OP, is it perhaps the area that you're not totally integrated with?