Have you just never settled in a house?

seven-day-weekend

We decided to move from our home of forty years (other than eight years in Spain), because the area changed for the worse. We thought it would be a terrible wrench and thought we would never get a house we liked as much, within our chosen areas, for our budget.

Well we got a do-er upper bungalow with a huge garden and love it. We walked away from our old home without a backward glance.

What I would say is, know why you want to move and where you want to go. We wanted to move to a nicer area of our city and narrowed our search down to three areas (two of them over the border in south Stafforshire). I think if you don't have a clear vision of what you want, you may well be disappointed again.

Davesnave

Inasmuch as property reflects lifestyle, there's probably a time in middle life where many of us consider what we have and realise that it's not as we imagined our life, say, 20 years before.

It's a dangerous time. On the one hand, staying in a rut may lead to regret, but on the other, our concept of 'better' may still be as unrealistic as some early fantasies, unless we know ourselves well.

I don't think there's an easy answer. Once one thinks, "Is that all there is?" the question of what else there might be leads in a million different directions. Many of them don't require a house move at all, just a different focus for our lives.

I agree with Doozer; 'settled' comes mainly from within. However, where a different self really does conflict with the surroundings, no matter how comfortable, that's when a move is worth the risk.

Marvel1

Same, been here for 10 years and don't like it.

Selling I think would be impossible:
1. Bought in 2007 and now it's in negative equity.
2. There are 3 better houses in my street, but none are selling.

Also my mortgage is only £230 a month (for now).

sparky130a

Another vote for you need to be happy yourself.

I love my one bedroom flat, but i also like spending substantial time at the girlfriends 3 bed house. Very different environments.

At 38 i've just resigned a job of ten years i loved, but i now feel liberated. I've no idea where the mortgage payment will come from but nor do i care.

I feel better. And i'm rapidly starting to realise that's what counts.

Be selfish, be happy. Because in doing so you make the people you care about happier.

Should you move? Only you know. Personally i don't care for the bricks and mortar, simply the environment said building is surrounded by.

Mossfarr

Twenty five years ago I sold my own house and moved myself and family back into my former family home - lots of reasons - it seemed like the best solution at the time! We have invested a lot of time and money in making it the perfect home but I have never settled.
As soon as I can I will be selling up and buying a forever home without having to take any one elses needs/wants into consideration. I can't wait!

boliston

AnotherJoe wrote: »

Lovely neighbours, nice garden, quiet road. All by themselves good, all three together golden. Do you know what percentage of people move to get away from noisy roads or bad neighbours?.....

This does not really take overall location into consideration - I live on a fairly busy road but only have to walk 5 minutes if I want to get to work of get to the town centre for shops etc but there are loads of estates in the town that I live in that have very quiet roads but the very through of living on an estate would make me feel "trapped" even if it had super friendly neighbours.

C.C.L.

We're into our 8th year in this house, and I've not settled. I have no interest in it at all. On the surface it has everything going for it, nice town, 5mins walking from shops & supermarket, but I just don't like it. I've tried to motivate myself by reminding myself how lucky I am compared to a lot of people but I still feel the same. In fact I'm pretty close to hating the house and I would move tomorrow but have yet to see anything that we both like. My husband likes living here, likes the house & the area but so did I when we bought it, it was only when we started living in it that I discovered how I felt. Strange, we've moved lots of times but I've never felt like this. We both realise we need to move though but now I'm worried I'll feel like this again. Meanwhile the search continues.

[Deleted User]

Thank you to everyone who has replied. Some really interesting "takes" on this issue.

I actually saw a counsellor (don't laugh) to talk about it because I figured I needed to get to the root of it before it cost us a lot of money and time, etc. He did say that sometimes it's that we need to change something-else in our lives and we focus on what's "out there" instead but, after exploring that, he also said that sometimes we just have to go with our gut instinct, and trust it (so, basically, he didn't know either!)

I honestly don't feel that I'll regret moving but want to clarify what I was to move TOWARDS and not just what I want to move AWAY from (i.e. this house!) But maybe sometimes you just have to hold your breath and jump - and keep your fingers crossed?

Thanks again.

moneyistooshorttomention

On the other hand - there is the "wild card" of whether someone might take a dislike (or like on the other hand) to a house for no known logical reason. However, it's down to an "atmosphere" they perceive about the place (rightly or wrongly) and that no-one else can detect.

They say some places feel like they've got a happy atmosphere and maybe it's found out that the place has basically been a happy family home. On the other hand - that there are ones with a bad atmosphere - down to negative stuff that has happened there.

To me - the jury is out on that. It may be the case. It may not be the case. As someone who basically functions on logic, then I'm perfectly prepared to believe that someone else might notice an atmosphere (of whichever description) that would totally elude me - as I just check out the "mechanics" of it all and am focusing on the facilities/location/layout of the place/etc.

missprice

If it helps at all, I have lived in two houses that I disliked intensely.
One when I was a child, so nothing I could do about it.

And one as an an adult. I spent 4 miserable years in it and as soon as I found a house to move to I was happier. Despite the new house being in a new area, different style, moved from end terrace to semi. Everything was different, bigger rooms, more garden, different layout, more windows,in a village, new one hearts town,etc.
I left all my friends behind, I knew I would rarely see them again.but still much happier. I think that house had a bad atmosphere about it. Yet I know the previous owner had lived there 20 years no problems.