Not saying thank you for presents!

orchid-96

As children we always said thanks for our presents, either verbally straight away or the next time we saw the auntie etc. Usually on the day, if we didn't see our aunties they would phone us to say 'happy birthday' which would then be the prompt to say thank you...

We didn't really get presents sent in the post, but I think if you do you should send a note - although I think for younger children it should really be the parent saying thanks, I think it is a bit daft to send a thank you note from a toddler..(one of my sil's sends thank yous at the drop of a hat, even if you just bought her children an easter egg or gave them a cuddle lol (well not quite just for that but almost!!)

I have a niece and nephew who never ever say thank you for presents which I find a bit rude and it just makes me feel like they are not hapy with whatever I buy...(actually if you aske their Mum she always says give them money - they are 14 and 11, but although I have done that a few times, I prefer to get a gift)

full-time-mum

trippy wrote: »

We save £100 a month for birthday and Christmas presents for family and usually spend between £5-£15 on a present so we don't go over the top. But lately I have just been getting so fed up with posting presents into an abyss and not even getting an acknowledgment that the present has been received, let alone a thank you.

So I am considering stopping giving presents to people who don't have the manners to say thank you. I know this is something that has been mooted on here before so I wondered how people went about it.

I am sure that some people will just assume that we are no longer exchanging presents - which I suppose will be ok as it'll be fewer thank you notes for me to write. But I would like to point out that it's because they never say thank you.

This bugs me too, especially in this day and age of emails.

What also annoys me is letters that have no input from the child. DD2 is going to 6 yr old parties at school and we usually get a note from the parents - which is better than nothing. However, I really feel that the child should at least have scrawled their name at the end.
Even as tiny babies, we made the effort to do something a bit more personal - footprint or photocard. Toddlers were given a printed postcard with a line drawing on which they crayoned over with ever increasing skill. At 5 they write a general thank-you note which we scan and make into a postcard - "Thank you for my present" in their handwritting is sufficient.

DD1 is now 11 and either emails or does computer generated letters but they are individual even if similarly worded!

wendym

Slightly O/T:

I'd have settled for a nice neutral silence from both my M and my MIL! One year, when we were really counting the pennies, I spent what was for us a lot of money on a soft pink jumper from M&S for M. She unwrapped it, held it up, and said "whoever thought I'd wear something this horrible mucky colour?"

When she went home she left it behind. She got it, re-wrapped, for her birthday in April, but I didn't have to see her open it then.

And I have just decided not to post into the abyss this year to great-nieces.

furrypig

Thank you's is a really interesting subject!!

I try and get my 2 little people to write them even if it is designed on the computer printed out then they hand sign it at least it is a thank you!

Most people I know don't send thank you's and I think it is just a sign of the times as most people I know don't send any letters to people. My 2 enjoy making thank you cards more but only up to about 2 at a time then they get bored. Maybe we should start doing some Christmas ones now so by the time we need to send them we have enough!!

I have one part of the family who are always really grateful when they receive presents in person and always write beautiful thank you notes that I appreciate. Equally I send presents/cards to other family members that I rarely see and I don't know if they've arrived let alone get a thank you PLUS my children don't even get a birthday card/text/email which even if you're broke can be free or pennies so I might stop buying for people for that reason and not the thank you reason!!

I think I might be getting mean in my old age but it is money saving!! Someone who normally gives my kids birthday presents hasn't this year so I won't get her kids anything and that saves me time and money! I am buying over 40 Christmas presents so if I can cut down on a few all well and good!!

What a rant....sorry!

chalky_75

I love it when I am thanked and my kids still laugh at me at Christmas time because I always used to sit with a pad and write who got what from whom etc etc so that they could write their thank yous. But as I have got older I am far more relaxed about it and realise I give because I want to give not to get thanked and everyone is so busy nowadays. Good manners cost nothing though and should be encouraged

ktflosspot

ds1&2 always write thank you notes and now do it without being reminded!!!!!

The boys get sooooooo much stuff that it would be easy to rip off wrapping paper and go on to next present but they know they will have to send a thank you so they take their time and I feel it makes them appreciate what they have been given more.
For me it is just good manners to say thank you (and mean it)
DS2 once wrote a thank you to my elderly aunt and it still makes me chuckle
he put, dear aunty anne ,thank you for the socks .They are the wrong size just now but I am wearing them because they keep all of my leg warm and not just my feet. He was only 6 at the time !!!!!!!!!


(DH & I will write a note if we don't see the person the gift is from and have not been able to thank them face to face.)
I do have to say though that I have stopped being bothered by the fact that we never get a thank you from any of our nephews or nieces.I think I would pass out if one ever arrived now !

culpepper

We always wrote thankyou to present givers when I was a child and I taught my children to do the same. I was shocked to find none of DH's family did it. My husband even wrote and told his nieces that it was alright for them to write to us and did they like their presents? These days we just dont bother with sending them. The nephews and nieces are all grown and never picked up on the hint.

afsha

Its been very interesting reading this thread as I dont send notes to say thank you. I have always say thanks face to face automatically I think.
After reading this thread ill make a note to ensure I have said thanks properly.

I would like to say a present should not be given because you want thanks
back but because you want to show token of your love to the person/family.

I have been to many asian birthday parties and house warming parties but
i dont expect thank you notes back but maybe presents when its my turn. Selfish person that I am.

sarah*a

DD gets a pack of thank you notes in her stocking and she writes thank yous to everyone we didn't see in person.

She can take upto a week to do them - a couple a night - but she likes to do it - makes her feel polite.

i've always sent thank yous - and my sister has also started - which shocked us all at first. :eek: But its nice to get them as well as send them.

I've told DD she can email certain people this year - but not grandparents/elderly aunts etc.

:cool:

arnie&caseysma!

I don't expect a written thank you from anyone but politeness never goes amiss and I do expect a verbal thanks either face to face or down the phone.

Last year I spent months planning what I was buying OH's daughter for her birthday in November and Xmas and I still have not received a thank you yet. It nearly caused us to part company at New Year as I was absolutely fuming and the drink at New Year brought it all out! I think the rest of my family are still waiting aswell.....

As a result I told OH that he was doing all the planning and buying this year so that makes a total of 2 people that he needs to buy for - including me! He will probably be going out on Xmas eve to get her something when he realises that I have stuck to my word and not got anything!