Attitudes in young people

woollisox

I'm a twenty four year old daughter of a supermum and partner to a complete and utter manchild. It's taken a long while to negotiate but me and my partner try to be fairly equal about house chores now. I cook and clean, he washes up takes the bins out and does the laundry. I decorate and he tries to DIY (mum taught me better so I tend to help him or end up doing it myself).
His mum and nan still baby him and it drives me insane! I've never seen him lift a finger in their houses, even to get himself a drink from the kitchen. It's honestly a wonder he does as much in the house as he does.

monnagran

Reading through these posts I resonate with a lot of them. I think that if parents want eventual co-operation with household tasks from their offspring, the trick is to get them involved when they are little and still think that it is fun to "help."

This is not the easy option. For the perfectionists among you, who like things done perfectly, it is a sort of refined torture to put up with the messy results of small children 'helping'. However, it is the one way of ensuring that they grow up with the basic skills of looking after themselves.
Obviously it is a gradual process. My 4 year old DGD stands on a stool at the sink to wash up, usually soaking herself, the floor and the dog in the process. She puts her toys away, usually with me standing at the door holding the bin bag that will be used to dispose of anything left on the floor. She can't wait until she is a 'big girl' and is given free rein with the vacuum. So it really is baby steps.

It would be so much quicker, easier and more efficient to do it myself but that is not the point of the exercise.

Once they are teenagers it is a 'them' and 'us' situation and too late.

Good luck everyone.

x

LameWolf

monnagran wrote: »

Reading through these posts I resonate with a lot of them. I think that if parents want eventual co-operation with household tasks from their offspring, the trick is to get them involved when they are little and still think that it is fun to "help."

And it has to be better than the "do what you're told or get a good hiding" approach I lived with as a child.
I didn't include it in the above quote, but I did have to smile at the bit about soaking the dog!

honeythewitch

maman wrote: »

My mother was 'old school' in that she did everything for us all but she'd hadn't done paid work outside the home since she had me at the age of 24. She saw it as her role but also had plenty of time for socialising with friends and charity work so it was hardly a life of drudgery!


But that was a different generation. I didn't learn to cook at home but I'd done chemistry at college so following a recipe was an easy step on (or do I mean back?) from that. I'd been in the Brownies and the Guides so had all the rudiments of cleaning and ironing and I could turn out a meal for 2 dozen on a campfire so keeping house was a doddle.


This is like so many threads on here. You get an insight into how other people live but don't have to agree. I like a nice home and eat well but my career choice has been part of who I am. I doubt I'd have had the same fulfilment from keeping house full time but I'm not knocking someone who is satisfied with that.

Of course, back in those days we had proper domestic science at school, so it was pretty impossible to end up with no knowledge of it.

Mojisola

honeythewitch wrote: »

Of course, back in those days we had proper domestic science at school, so it was pretty impossible to end up with no knowledge of it.

It depended on your school - we had to do Latin instead of DS.

Pollycat

honeythewitch wrote: »

Of course, back in those days we had proper domestic science at school, so it was pretty impossible to end up with no knowledge of it.

Well, I did Domestic Science (and Latin) but I'm not sure that DS taught me much.
I remember cooking kedgeree - in maybe 1966 - and tbh, it was so far off what we'd eat at home.

Mrs_Ryan

I was never allowed to do anything in the house- mum did it all. She tried to teach me to cook before I left for uni but I still to this day cannot cook. However my disabilities now prevent me from using a cooker or an oven. I can make stuff in the microwave or ActiFry using pre prepared ingredients- I struggle to chop vegetables due to pain in my hands and I have never been able to use a potato peeler or manual tin opener as I am left handed and have poor coordination due to my learning difficulty.
I rely heavily on OH doing the housework although I do the practical things that he struggles with like phone calls and arranging the car insurance. Until I went to university I had never even operated a washing machine or changed my own bed.
When I did my nurse training there was a young lad on one of the placements with us who didn't even know how to put a sheet on a bed- he just stood there helplessly while myself and another older student nurse made up all the beds on the ward- 20 of them!

monnagran

Pollycat wrote: »

Well, I did Domestic Science (and Latin) but I'm not sure that DS taught me much.
I remember cooking kedgeree - in maybe 1966 - and tbh, it was so far off what we'd eat at home.

I also did Latin and Domestic Science. Thankfully the DS didn't last too long. It was in the fifties and rationing was still in force. The only thing I remember is being taught to fillet a mackerel.. YUK.....and tipping a rice pudding down a drain behind the bicycle sheds as I knew I'd never get it home on the bus unspilt.

My mother took the attitude that it was the schools job to get me up to scratch academically and her job to prepare me for life. Which she did, bless her.

katkin

I was another brought up joining in on cooking, baking, housework and laundry. As a. Child I found it great fun and liked being compliments and have achieved something. Hence why encourage my kids to do the same.

Cooking and baking is never a chore for me now. I learned so young and on the job that I've grown up how to use so much kitchen equipment, knives, know how to do the basics without even thinking of them I feel quite fortunate by my early childhood involvement.

Totally agree, all people and households are different and do what is best for their family unit. Though I do feel sad for kids who grow up without the basic and get no pleasure from old Syle household management.

The enjoyment aspect can make a big differerance to wanting to make things work to your advantage.

freyasmum

Spendless wrote: »

DS had eaten and left everything out. I mentioned it, but this morning it's still there. However I am determined that I am not doing it, as I'm not prepared to clean up a mess that occurred when I wasn't in. And so the dirty dishes and pans that cooked a curry remain in our kitchen and dining table. I am the only person awake at the min, but will be stating that I am not washing this mess up, when everyone else gets up.

I'm afraid I'm be putting them in his room too. I'm all for working as a team, but that's just pure ignorance in my book

monnagran wrote: »

Obviously it is a gradual process. My 4 year old DGD stands on a stool at the sink to wash up, usually soaking herself, the floor and the dog in the process. She puts her toys away, usually with me standing at the door holding the bin bag that will be used to dispose of anything left on the floor. She can't wait until she is a 'big girl' and is given free rein with the vacuum. So it really is baby steps.

My nephew is now five, but my mum has a carpet sweeper (as well as a g-tech air ram, but they're extortionate :undecided Although the boys do fight over it :rotfl:) and he has been using it since he was tiny. They both LOVE helping out, and will dust, hoover and wash the dishes when they're at my mums.