To Divorce or not Divorce...that is the question

catflap11

tea_lover wrote: »

I know I said I was out.... but I'm procrastinating at work so I'm back on here :rotfl:

What people are trying to get across is that marriage is a legal status, it's not about whether there is actually a relationship there anymore. This person only becomes your ex when you divorce, not when the relationship breaks down. Until you are legally divorced they are not your ex spouse, they are every bit as much your legal spouse as the day you married.

I used the expression Ex as a figure of speech, all I was trying to ascertain was the level of influence they could still have following a separation.

Faith177

catflap11 wrote: »

I used the expression Ex as a figure of speech, all I was trying to ascertain was the level of influence they could still have following a separation.

If you are still married legally then they have a lot of influence

tea_lover

catflap11 wrote: »

I used the expression Ex as a figure of speech, all I was trying to ascertain was the level of influence they could still have following a separation.

You need to work from a starting point of 50% of everything. Now it could be that with your current circumstances, that's 50% of not too much. But it is naive to think that won't or can't ever change.

If you are on good terms now, and there are no assets to speak of on either side then surely it's an ideal time to get things finalised. It's much more difficult when things are less amicable, when one person's income has gone up and the other hasn't, when one person has got a new partner and the other hasn't, etc. People can easily become a lot less reasonable over time!

PeacefulWaters

Get back in your pension scheme at work.

Get divorced.

Ensure a financial consent order is sorted out too.

Anything less is madness.

catflap11

Thanks, several compelling reasons to proceed with a divorce. Thanks again for the practical advice.

Guest101

catflap11 wrote: »

I have been nothing but polite to you, there was no need for that comment, I am in a situation that thankfully I have never been in before and I was simply asking for advice.

I have no idea why you feel the need to abuse and mock me, I hope you are happy in your judgmental ivory tower.

As for the other contributors, many thanks for your comments and advice, it has given me plenty of food for thought.

Huh?


If you were in a wheelchair, I would ask - are you able to look after yourself. Special needs or disabilities are no different. It wasn't meant offensively. But it was over 30 replies before you seemed to have gathered what was said in reply 1.


Hence my question. I wasn't being judgmental, or abusive. In fact I think what you wrote is highly inappropriate when someone is giving you advice FOR FREE

catflap11

Guest101 wrote: »

Huh?


If you were in a wheelchair, I would ask - are you able to look after yourself. Special needs or disabilities are no different. It wasn't meant offensively. But it was over 30 replies before you seemed to have gathered what was said in reply 1.


Hence my question. I wasn't being judgmental, or abusive. In fact I think what you wrote is highly inappropriate when someone is giving you advice FOR FREE

You intended it to be rude and belittling, please don't try and backtrack when someone calls you out on it.

Guest101

catflap11 wrote: »

You intended it to be rude and belittling, please don't try and backtrack when someone calls you out on it.

Just to clarify the words 'Genuine question' didn't click with you that it was a genuine question?


Why would I want to be rude to you?

catflap11

Guest101 wrote: »

Just to clarify the words 'Genuine question' didn't click with you that it was a genuine question?


Why would I want to be rude to you?

I have no idea why you were, however asking someone if they have special needs is pretty rude. Please don't get all indignant because someone you tried to bully fought back.

Guest101

catflap11 wrote: »

I have no idea why you were, however asking someone if they have special needs is pretty rude. Please don't get all indignant because someone you tried to bully fought back.

Seriously?


1: you've not 'fought back', however feel free to block me if you don't like what I write. Just click on my name, and click add to block list.
2. asking someone if they have special needs is being considerate. If you did and didn't understand the implication due to have diminished capability - then your marriage may actually not be legally valid.