To Divorce or not Divorce...that is the question

Guest101

catflap11 wrote: »

Yes, but again, I can't see anything on the various online resources that give her a claim on them? obviously if I am dead then she is welcome to them but she cant physically have half of for example my cutlery? can she?

Why not?


What is it that you're reading that tells you she cant claim half of EVERYTHING?

catflap11

Guest101 wrote: »

Why not?


What is it that you're reading that tells you she cant claim half of EVERYTHING?

Sorry, I should have made it clear, when i left, all i took with me were my clothes, i bought all new furniture etc I cant see anywhere that says she can claim on my new things? obviously stuff we had together I can understand, but my new things? if she can, then that is the first compelling reason to get divorced. If it means she has a lifetime entitlement to my things then it makes sense.

groovy_chick

It may seem like it doesn't matter now, so don't do anything if you don't want to.

Chances are, give it a year and one of you will be with someone new and you will end up divorcing anyway. Until you do divorce, you will always be part of the other persons life and you will need to be able to contact each other - divorcing someone that you cannot find to serve papers on is far more complicated and will probably cost you more in the long run.

I took nearly 8 years to get divorced - by the end, I was fed up with ticking 'Separated' on forms and I just wanted it over with.

And in terms of what she has legal claim on; people seem to forget that during the marriage ceremony you say 'all I have I give to you' - that is actually part of your legal contract. That contract is in place until you divorce.

Sambella

catflap11 wrote: »

Yes, but again, I can't see anything on the various online resources that give her a claim on them? obviously if I am dead then she is welcome to them but she cant physically have half of for example my cutlery? can she?

Maybe she will divorce you and you have to pay her costs, Cheaper to do it yourself perhaps?

If you are not concerned. So be it.

Slinky

catflap11 wrote: »

I can't afford a house, I don't gamble or do the lottery and I've opted out of my workplace pension, I'm really not trying to be difficult but unless some kind of miracle occurs I really cant see my life changing. I really do appreciate the assistance and feedback, but I just want to make sure I'm not throwing money away on something that is unlikely to affect me in any significant way.

Not related to your original question, but by opting out of your workplace pension, you are throwing away free money from your employer. Unless you plan on dying before retirement age, why would you want to do this? Will you be able to survive on a maximum of £155 per week when you reach retirement age?

Guest101

catflap11 wrote: »

Sorry, I should have made it clear, when i left, all i took with me were my clothes, i bought all new furniture etc I cant see anywhere that says she can claim on my new things? obviously stuff we had together I can understand, but my new things? if she can, then that is the first compelling reason to get divorced. If it means she has a lifetime entitlement to my things then it makes sense.

You're still married!! She can claim it all - which is what people have been trying to tell you.


Which is why people mentioned the lottery ticket scenario,

catflap11

Guest101 wrote: »

You're still married!! She can claim it all - which is what people have been trying to tell you.


Which is why people mentioned the lottery ticket scenario,

Thank you, it seems hugely unfair when we have both moved on, that the other person can suddenly make a claim on the others assets even if that person has had no connection to the ex spouses new life.

Oh well that's a question for another time. I'm genuinely not trying to be difficult, and i guess its a sign of my naivety that I assumed people wouldn't retrospectively try and fleece their ex after some time has elapsed.

Faith177

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1331925/Lottery-winner-Nigel-Page-pay-ex-wife-2m-left-10-years-ago.html

catflap11

Guest101 wrote: »

Genuine question - are you capable of making decisions or do you have any special needs?

I have been nothing but polite to you, there was no need for that comment, I am in a situation that thankfully I have never been in before and I was simply asking for advice.

I have no idea why you feel the need to abuse and mock me, I hope you are happy in your judgmental ivory tower.

As for the other contributors, many thanks for your comments and advice, it has given me plenty of food for thought.

tea_lover

catflap11 wrote: »

Thank you, it seems hugely unfair when we have both moved on, that the other person can suddenly make a claim on the others assets even if that person has had no connection to the ex spouses new life.

Oh well that's a question for another time. I'm genuinely not trying to be difficult, and i guess its a sign of my naivety that I assumed people wouldn't retrospectively try and fleece their ex after some time has elapsed.

I know I said I was out.... but I'm procrastinating at work so I'm back on here :rotfl:

What people are trying to get across is that marriage is a legal status, it's not about whether there is actually a relationship there anymore. This person only becomes your ex when you divorce, not when the relationship breaks down. Until you are legally divorced they are not your ex spouse, they are every bit as much your legal spouse as the day you married.