The Marching Minimalist

angelpye

Today I swapped my luxurious £40-head-massage-with-hot-chocolate-and-marshmallows haircut for one at the local college for £9. I was a bit nervous as I have a bit of statement fringe and easy to get it wrong. Luckily its not too bad and within a day or two it will settle in. I did have a numb bum by the end of it though as took a loooong time but I did manage to get some reading done for my course. Overall wasn't the pampering session I am used to but, aside from practically I can't afford that until May and I needed a cut badly, I did walk out with a decent haircut. I will need a fringe trim in between, which at my usual hairdressers is free, so will have to pay for that.

So seeing it as a win and feeling like me which is always good for motivation

I find cost cutting on these sorts of things tricky as I have such a busy life that my haircut every 12 weeks (I know far to long in between but hard to find the time) is a treat. Closest I get to being pampered. Glad I did it this way at the moment as just can't justify not feeding DD so that I can have a head massage!

angelpye

Ps. Paid CC1 today - £17 over the minimum so not fantastic but this part of my journey is about holding my ground, not increasing the debt, until May when my income will increase a little bit. Paying anything over the minimum is a win to me!

ada-or-ardor

Don't go and pay for a fringe trim before you try your normal luxurious hairdresser first! Unless you have officially cancelled your business with them and communicated that to them of course? I would say it's well worth popping in and asking, and if they say anything about having had your haircut elsewhere just say you went away with work for a secondment elsewhere in the UK and desperately needed a cut...!

Well that's what I'd do anyway....!

angelpye

Thanks fro the tip ada, no harm in trying right?

angelpye

I looked at my updated Noddle yesterday and it really hit me hard as to how silly I have been...this time 2 years ago I had ££££s in savings and now I have £2423 of debt. It really brought me down whilst I thought of all that ridiculous waste and the situation I have put DD and myself in now. I felt sick and anxious again.

I guess these low moments are a natural part of this process and will hopefully be part of the learning curve but it makes me feel very lonely.

I am comfortable on my own, most of the time and I don't really have the time or inclination to muster the effort of dating. I do enjoy dating but it does take up time and energy which I don't have much spare of either at the moment. I don't think the loneliness is about a 'partner' though.

I have so many things I want to see and do! This debt restricts some of that and its so frustrating. I feel quite cross with myself, again. I think the loneliness is about feeling restricted.

So, as i am never motivated by negativity I have been trying to turn this around by thinking about the things we can do.

Days out:
*Gardens: Due to my student status I can get a years membership for Royal Horticulture Society for £10. This gives access to 200 National Trust gardens and there are 5 very local to me. A couple of them are restricted access (so not in August) but mainly all year round. A couple I would have to pay for DD to get in. But in one visit the membership would have paid for itself and we love this kind of day out.
*Legoland: McD's has half price voucher for up to 5 people on their Happy Meal box at the moment. We don't do McD's as DD doesn't like it but thinking it might be worth the purchase as she loves Lego and would be a lovely day out.
*Found a special offer for steam train railway in a couple of months which goes to one of the houses on RHS list (have noted to do once budget increases).
*Locally there are a few free places to go for nice walks and have a picnic.

Activities:
*Gym membership: Plenty of swimming etc to be had for no extra cost. I am determined to keep mental health on a level through exercise, I am already paying for it so may as well maximise benefit.
*Raspberry growing - favourite fruit for DD and she loves growing things. Small outlay but found plants for half price so will order this week taking money from surveys.
*Cheap cinema slots.
*Home cinema nights.
*Picnics on the beach or at the park - its almost time!
*Usual arts, crafts and baking at home - use online resources effectively for inspiration.
*I have a couple of meal vouchers for a chain pizza place and will take elder DD for a bit of one to one time.

I am determined to keep an eye out for any money off vouchers for local facilities and to do any competition I find for similar things. Plus do surveys regularly to use money for fun and research any other student offers on things I will definitely use.

We have a small break away in the UK for the summer so will be low cost. Will also go camping, we really enjoy it, in the summer to somewhere like Dorset or New Forest - have all the equipment so just need to find reasonably priced campsites.

Other news:
Budget: Still checking YNAB and banking app daily which is making me feel in control, reassuring me that we have enough and keeping me focused. I do like the feeling I get from knowing where we are even if its not a very comfortable place at the moment.

Groceries: Today I just need to to do a tiny top up for bread and milk etc and all food is still on target per my massive meal planning session. That has really helped with the anxiety I had about feeding us healthily.

Upping income: I have also started to collect things to sell at some point soon. I have survey money to cash out over £30. Plus have a voucher waiting for me to cash out - have chosen M&S as need some new underwear and a few school bits for DD. I also have vouchers from gifts for a few extras I think I need but will Kondo my wardrobe first to make sure.

Health: Have downloaded fitness app to keep an eye on weight but also nutrient intake. Have continued to go to gym which is helping with low mood.

I am still feeling down but rationalising it does help. I just need to keep telling myself 'I have got this' and 'this too shall pass'.

Marching on...

VelvetFreak

You've got this!!

I can so relate re. the dating thing. I don't have a child to complicate things, but numerous other things that holds me back, the debt being one of them as I don't want to spend money on "going out". I think there is a right time and place and maybe that will come eventually. I am ok being single, but day to day it can get tiring doing everything on your own. For me it's the little things, such as needing help to lift something heavy, or being able to text the other person to buy milk on the way home, or make them take the rubbish out :rotfl:

Nearly all of my friends are married/have been in relationships since they were quite young. Sometimes they joke about how easy it must be to keep my house clean not having a man around, etc. I think they forget that I do literally everything myself. The washing up still has to get done, bedsheets washed, vacuum and mop, etc. I guess the grass is always greener. :p Sorry for the ramble.

Treadingonplaymobil

I think reframing things in a positive way is such a good idea. I must do that when i'm feeling negative. And it looks like you have lots lined up to plan for

angelpye

Thanks Velvet Freak, I get what you mean about the money side of dating. Having someone to help out would be nice at times - for me when I am ill it would be nice for someone to be around or to go out for the day and hang in cafes etc. But, I also found living with the wrong person can be super irritating too so swings and roundabouts!

ToP reframing works really well for me. I used to work in a solution focused client support role and it can be really effective. Obviously its important to acknowledge when things are tough but focusing on positives is the only thing that gets me through.

ada-or-ardor

Well done for having the emotional intelligence to be able to reframe! Perhaps you could set yourself a debt-free goal for one of the places you really want to go to, and as your debt reduces you could even start saving early for that little trip or whatever goal it is you want to achieve? Your debt is only temporary, you are doing so well!

Ada

angelpye

Thanks Ada, not wanting to wish my life away but can't wait until May and i can properly review my finances with increase of income.

There are two solo trips I am desperate to do - one could be done for less than £800 for the week and the other is Japan and haven't even looked to price it up. My DD goes away with her dad twice a year so solo trips can be taken at those times. This year is probably not realistic, all 'spare' money going on trip away with DD in summer, but maybe next year. I do want to and have taken DD on adventures abroad but I also like to use the time I have without her to explore. I hope that doesn't sound selfish.