The Marching Minimalist

angelpye

Hi VF, thanks for popping by. I guess apart from 'I have got this' and 'this too shall pass' I haven't really looked into it. I recently found a life coaching book I have had for years and will be looking at working through some exercises which I seem to recall may include affirmations - thanks for the tip

angelpye

I have slipped in keeping this up and so thought a post was in order.

Money:
The debt fighting is still on 'quick march' mode but this should change in May. I have made small overpayments and I am not increasing the debt so its all positive giving the circumstances.

I had to make a party dress purchase for DD yesterday and went slightly over budget in clothing allowance but have some money waiting to cash out from surveys so will take it from there.
The party dress wasn't the issue, it was a couple of purchases I made for her as she has just had a growth spurt and I found some lovely low cost items that will see her through spring into late summer. Some are going back as she didn't like them
I was 'good' though and went for a scout around on my own, picking up a few bits for her to try on at home, then after school took her into town to choose an outfit. Meant we could just go to two shops together which saved time and made trip more enjoyable - multiple shops is never a good idea with little ones.
The outfit she chose was pretty low cost - £31 for skirt, top, cardigan (sale), tights (sale) and handbag (bit indulgent) and goes with footwear she already has. She looks beautiful and was/is so excited. The different elements can be worn with other things she owns and hasn't grown out of and the whole outfit has two engagements in the diary. So fully justified in my mind.
As a kid my mum didn't buy me many clothes, preferring fortified grape juice, so it is important to me that DD has what she needs as well as few extras for special occasions. Clothes are a big part of self expression which again is important and worth the pain of surveys.

Groceries are going well and I should leave this month pretty much on target. A little over atm due to special offers on specific products that I couldn't resist.

Life. I have managed to see a few friends for low cost socialising since starting this diary, so that has been nice, and been doing low cost or free activities with DD.

Gym. I am using it and it is making me feel better but I have been a bit busy this month so been hard to fit in. Booked in for twice a week from now on though.

Energy. My switch is duet o take place next week so that will be £19 a month redirected to debt.

The black dog:
He has been growling at my feet again recently. On the whole I am able to stay on top of it but I do get so very low. I am considering medication for a short term lift whilst life is so busy. I don't want to risk becoming really low, and unable to function, just so that I am not taking medication. I will book to see GP and see what she says.
I know my budget being so tight impacts this but the black dog has been a long term companion of mine. I do think though being in control of my finances and knowing what I have really helps, even if the figures are bad, and that as the budget gets more comfortable I will feel less restricted. Ability to do things is really important to my mental health so knowing this is temporary is a powerful place to be. A few months ago I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and now it shines brightly.


Routine:
This could be going better but I am getting there. I am definitely more ordered in my approach to everyday life. A project I am working on needs a bit of energy injected so thats my next task.

Outstanding actions:
*ebay
*facebay
*life assurance (must prioritise on friday)
*CRA misselling claim (friday too - will take very little time so why do I keep putting it off?)
*RHS membership (once finances are better - gives free l/c days out)
*Start couch to 5k training (I have lost weight and started to feel fitter so ready to do this now)

Marchin on...

Treadingonplaymobil

You sound very under control and pulled together, even in the face of the black dog hanging around, so well done. Give yourself a pat on the back. There are some ADs that are incredibly low dosage and have virtually no side effects/withdrawal symptoms, but just take the edge off things. Do have a chat with the GP.

JoJoC

Sounds like despite your setbacks you've got this - you sound really positive in the face of the black dog barking at your heels.

I agree with TOP, get along to the doctor and explain how you're feeling and your fears and I'm sure they'll be able to help you one way or another. Remember, you don't have to agree with what they say - if you don't want to be heavily medicated, I'm sure they'd happily find something to suit you.

Also, it sounds like having a few things on the go will keep your mind off how you feel.

I love how pleased your daughter is with her new outfit Made me smile! It's the simple things.

EssexHebridean

The black dog is a !!!!!!, and I can very much identify with it sniffing around your feet, too. Remember there are no rights and wrongs - if you come out of the Doctor's appointment feeling that medication is the right way forward for you - brilliant. If you come out feeling it's not - also brilliant. It's a lot more about what you feel will work for your current situation than anything you should or shouldn't do.

In the mean time - fresh air, sunshine (on the rare occasions you can find some, other weather types are also available) and keep up the exercise which you already know helps, I'm guessing. The very fact that the light at the end of the tunnel is shining suggests that actually, you're already more than half way through, which is fantastic!

Great shopping for DD's outfit there too - absolute pure common sense to buy stuff that will have multiple applications and also very sensible to do the "recce" first and not overwhelm her with options. It makes me feel like crying for them when you see the small child in the supermarket with mum saying "What do you want for dinner?" rather than - "we can have this or that for dinner - which shall we choose?"

Keep marching!

angelpye

Thanks guys, I did try to get a GP appointment but services around here are difficult to access so will try again on Monday.

Today I need to meal plan and grocery shop but first off the to the gym with DD. Back later to post properly

angelpye

Morning all,

I have a GP appointment this morning. Bit nervous but I spoke with a GP this morning and he was reassuring. I know this latest bout of low mood is due to the health scare I had last year, the possibility I had cancer really threw me, but I had an operation in January and got the all clear a month ago. The scare had the positive effect of triggering a LBM with my finances and at least I know what the trigger is. As I have said before I am susceptible to low mood but being able to identify a trigger helps and knowing my finances naturally exasperates the issue is also helpful for my recovery.

Meal planning has been a little relaxed here once the big one at the start of this month was decided but I am eating what was planned/is in the house so it felt unnecessary to write every week. This weeks plan is as follows:
*Saturday was burgers in buns with salad (beef for DD/bean for me)
*Sunday was chicken/quorn and courgette, tomato and basil pasta
*Monday falafel, hummus, salad and h/m flatbreads
*Tuesday soup and wholemeal l/o baps
*Wednesday car picnic of hummus, carrot, cucumber, olives and muffin for DD and veggie chilli for me (DD has a club so has to eat on the move)
*Thursday Baked sweet potato with hummus and salad for me (DD away)
*Friday Veggie sausages, potatoes, vegetables and gravy for me (DD away)

Breakfasts are 'healthy' kids cereal for DD and porridge or overnight oats for me.
Lunch at school for DD and whatever is l/o or in fridge for me.
Snacks are fruit, h/m treats and various shop bought snacks.
Dessert yogurts, h/m treats and custard.

Saturday will be a big stock take for the month ahead. April will be my last month of ultra frugalism with food and being on such a tight budget.

Must get going to GP and then a spot of gardening and kitchen cleaning before getting on with some work.

Marching on...

angelpye

Hi all, GP has prescribed me some low level antidepressants and offered me talking therapy but an ex manager (who was horrible to me when I was off sick with stress) works at the local service and so I declined. I know I could see someone else but just don't like the idea of her knowing. I think the pills will give me the lift that I need just to get through this next few months.

Marching on...

Treadingonplaymobil

Well done for chatting with the GP. Hopefully the ADs will take the edge of the black mood, and you'll be operating at full capacity again. A shame about the talking therapy, but you can always revisit the idea down the line if the ADs don't cut it by themselves.

angelpye

Thanks ToP, I think should I need it I will pay privately. Our local service only offers short courses of CBT anyway and I am not a fan. I know myself pretty well and think alongside the AD's diet, exercise and longer daylight hours should pick me up again.