The Marching Minimalist

VelvetFreak

Wanting to make the most of your time alone does not sound selfish at all.

angelpye

Thanks VelvetFreak

I have done one city trip totally solo and absolutely loved it. Loved exploring/getting lost at my own pace and to my own interests and really enjoyed dining solo - I was lucky enough to be approached by locals who realised I was English and just wanted to chat. I have been a mum for best part of 20 years as I had my eldest young and so really appreciated the ability to do as I pleased. I really enjoy showing my children new things and experiencing their reaction to new adventures too though.

ada-or-ardor

Not selfish at all, it's not like you're leaving her in a local pub and going on holiday!!!

Japan is my lifetime destination too!! Some serious saving to be done for that one! But we will get there - I'll bet you a sake ;-)

Ada

angelpye

Will drink to that Ada! but will then dare you to some karaoke I read tons of posts on travelling as a single female in Japan etc. Love the idea of capsule/pod hotels. Just the idea of getting there someday perks me up no end! Its tempting to take the little one although will restrict what I do but as its more of a longer term goal I won't worry about details yet!

I did start a little scrap book of 'life dreams' and think I might find it and start building it up again. Probably sounds a bit sad but will keep me focused on debt busting. So many places to see with and without my girls!

EssexHebridean

Your plan of wanting to do things just for you doesn't sound in the least selfish to me! Life on your own with a child can be so isolating - to me if you can find a way of maintaining your own sanity/mental health like that, then you owe it to both of you to do that? Yes of course there are sacrifices that have to be made for the lifestyle choice of having children, but turning your entire focus of being over to that child isn't any healthier for them, than it would be for you, in my opinion.

Scrapbook also sounds ace - what a lovely think to be able to look at - maybe when the money thing gets a bit hard going - as an incentive for the future! :T

angelpye

That was exactly my thoughts EH. I usually just put a newspaper clipping of say cycling holiday in denmark or a photo of an interesting place just to remind myself of all the places I dream of going to. I agree with what you said about maintaining good mental health - taking care of myself will benefit DD too as well as keeping our relationship healthy.

I think because I have debt that is my doing and we are now on a tight budget I feel guilty about wanting things for myself. Guilt, there's that very unhelpful feeling again! Must push it one side

EssexHebridean

Yep - ditch the guilt. You've made mistakes, you've acknowledged that, and you're now taking steps to deal with it. In my book that makes you one of the good guys. Plus you're also making every effort to ensure that DD still gets a happy, fun childhood - and I'd happily put money on in years to come she'll appreciate the budget fun stuff FAR more than some of her friends will appreciate the expensive stuff. Memories are worth more than things - give it 10 years and the "things" will all be broken, stored away or charity shopped - the memories will still be intact and periodically making you laugh and say "remember when...?!"

angelpye

Oh definitely! All my most treasured memories from being a kid are simple things. I don't remember any presents I got other than the Mr Frosty slushy maker I got one year.

On the cheap days out/things to do subject I have found a £3 easter egg hunt trail out in the country side by National Trust and ordered the raspberry canes. RHS sale had stopped but managed to find same canes on W@itrose garden still at 40% off and cheaper delivery plus its tracking £1.68 in cash back! Survey money depleted to pence now but DD will really enjoy both activites

EssexHebridean

Ace work - and if you've used survey money, c ash neutral too - well done you!

Ahh yes - funnily enough the present I remember the best from childhood was also a cheapy one - a water game with a press button - inside was a swordfish and some rings, and the aim was to repeatedly press the button which "whooshed" the rings into the air so you could try to catch them on the swordfish's "nose" - HOURS of fun!

Treadingonplaymobil

Mr Frosty is practically the only childhood gift I remember too! Also sleeping bags, because my parents let us sleep under the tree in them (which suggests, as has been mentioned many times in minimalist blogs/podcasts etc, that experiences are longer lasting than physical items).