The Marching Minimalist

angelpye

Exactly - even the gifts we remember were cheap! Before my parents separated we would get an absolute tower of presents each and I can't remember a single one other than Mr Frosty.

For a long time now the focus has been on experiences - I always buy my girls tickets to something as their main present and this year I bought the ex in-laws restaurant vouchers to compliment the theatre tickets my ex bought. They had a lovely night out and its much better than books, bird houses and toiletries etc. (yes, a bird house! Desperation all over that one!)

ToP Sleeping out under a tree sounds idyllic! What a lovely past time to have.

angelpye

Since I started this third and final march to debt freedom I have been totally obsessed with my budget. I was often frantically rewriting the budget every time something occurred, which thankfully the discovery of YNAB stopped, and checking and rechecking figures all the time... obsessing about food, DFD, all the guilt, the feeling of not having enough and the fear of the future. This has dissipated.

I think it lasted as long as it did partly because I am of an obsessive/anxious nature, partly because I feel truly committed to living within my means and clearing my debt once and for all and partly because I was scared if I didn't obsess at all times I would fall off the wagon. I feel strongly I won't now and that my finances need to start taking a bit less headspace than they were.

This has partly naturally happened due to getting on so well with YNAB but I have decided to make a conscious effort so that 'normal' everyday life resumes and I start truly enjoying it again albeit frugally.

I think my LBM caused a tail spin (rightly so and just in time so I can actually pay everything) but the rest of my life seemed to turn to chaos. I was finding it hard to keep on top of everything because the debt situation felt so enormous that I couldn't focus on anything else - although I did ensure I was present with DD as always.

I need order to function as although I am naturally quite free in my approach to life I am also prone to feeling overwhelmed due to my spells of low mood. I need a tidy house to have a tidy mind and I need some routine although I also need to be spontaneous - oxymoron!!

So I have decided to give my financial dealings a routine along with my housework so I am not tempted to obsess and won't fall off the wagon.

I am going to commit to checking YNAB and my banking app in the morning - gives me reassurance everything is on track. But only do this once a day.

I will of course input when I spend anything which at the moment is only a couple of times a week on average.

On the last week of the month I will set aside time to fully reconcile YNAB for the next month ahead.

I will 'flylady' my housework whenever possible. This gives me structure I need without headspace being taken up.

Surveys when daily schedule allows.

I will meal plan every weekend and do the necessary shopping.

I will do my gym classes and book them on time so I don't miss out.

I will use fitness pal to monitor my diet.

I will tell myself everyday that 'I have got this' and 'this too shall pass' and when my resolve is faltering 'Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you can be violent and original in your work.' I find repeating things to myself soothing when anxious.

I will swipe guilt out of my mind when it rears its ugly head. I am a good enough mother, a kind friend and a good person. I need to be kind to myself and accept I am not perfect, the mistakes I made I have learned from and life is good...will only get better.

Sorry to list everything out but I think I need to record it somewhere other than my RL diary so I can put it out into the universe. Tonight I will work out a list of daily tasks and realistic timings etc in the hope it just becomes routine. Then plot the weekly and monthly tasks.

the peaceful feeling I feel has been growing with all the steps I have taken to control this situation and finally I feel at ease with it all.

I have got this!

Marching on...

Bobarella

Great post! You sound very focused.

Treadingonplaymobil

Lots of things there! I have a similarly ordered life (not so much to be violent and original in my work, but just to make sure stuff actually gets done - three children, two businesses and a house to manage) and I find a combination of strict routines, Evernote for daily planning and a Filofax for weekly planning really helps me stay on top of everything. It's taken a long time to get a system that works for me, but I am MILES more efficient now that I do. I don't think there's one single solution that works for everyone, or even one system that works for one person forever, but once you find the system that works for you I'm sure you'll find a lot of those little routines will just slot into place.

EssexHebridean

Ahh yes - the power of repetition, I know that one! I also use "this too shall pass" - and very true it is too. I've also found huge value in learning coping strategies for anxiety - I started last year suffering quite horribly with anxiety issues around a couple of things that had been ongoing in my life - to the point that it was affecting my sleep, my everyday life and all sorts. Found a "self-help" thing on a Scottish NHS website which proved to be incredibly helpful and from about day 4 of working through their steps simply haven't looked back. Another thing which really works for me is writing things down - I've got a "private" online journal which I can write anything in and that helps me empty my head out when it gets a bit full. It's also proved interesting to look back on as I can see how far I've come.

angelpye

Thank you Bob, ToP and EH - your support is much appreciated and knowing others have similar struggles and found ways to manage is always a boost in knowing I am on the right track.

EH - will check out that website next week when I have some time to properly look at it. Anything that keeps anxiety at bay is worth a try

angelpye

Played with snowball just now, as last CC payment of the month is out, and thought I had brought my DFD forward but then realised I had miss typed the amount I pay off. The good thing is if when my energy bill dd decreases I add £10 to regular debt repayment I will bring forward my DFD by 13 months...I think thats a plan. As it is the DFD is unchanged.

Marching on...

EssexHebridean

angelpye wrote: »

Thank you Bob, ToP and EH - your support is much appreciated and knowing others have similar struggles and found ways to manage is always a boost in knowing I am on the right track.

EH - will check out that website next week when I have some time to properly look at it. Anything that keeps anxiety at bay is worth a try

Indeed it is - google "Moodjuice Anxiety" and that should find it.

angelpye wrote: »

Played with snowball just now, as last CC payment of the month is out, and thought I had brought my DFD forward but then realised I had miss typed the amount I pay off. The good thing is if when my energy bill dd decreases I add £10 to regular debt repayment I will bring forward my DFD by 13 months...I think thats a plan. As it is the DFD is unchanged.

Marching on...

That does sound like a plan! That was how we dealt with the mortgage initially - adding in "money we didn't know we had" - so savings on bills etc. Works a treat, that! :T Also really shows you how adding just a small amount to payments can make a big difference!

angelpye

Thanks EH, that just led me to look at what would happen if I put all of the energy cost saving onto debt and would add another 4 months! That would mean 17 months saved with money I don't have right now anyway. No brainer! It would take my DFD to Dec 2020. Still want to improve on that but will take that! Should be able to do this from next month.

VelvetFreak

Hi Angel, just wondering if you have ever looked into doing Positive Affirmations? Little positive things that you say to yourself regularly. It sounds crazy, but I swear it helps, especially during moments of self-doubt. Which I have a lot of.