Have You Thought About A SECRET DNA Test ??

DigForVictory

I cordially loathe these tests as they are usually bought to extract money and/or inflict punishment. If there's a medical need, fine, with medical confidentiality. If it's "is this my child" - well, you seem to think it might not be, but if you know darn fine it isn't, you wouldn't test.
If you love your child, you don't ask and you defend them to the hilt.

Pollycat

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Sadly, too many people will pass judgement on people just becuse they may not have expereicne such truama!

Happily, a lot of people who have expereicne (sic) such truama (sic) actually get over it and meet a new partner and don't project those old feelings of betrayal onto that new partner.
It's called trust.

TBagpuss

Yes, i think the poll needs more options.

I think an anonymous test is a very bad idea. It's a very clear statemetns to your partner that you not only don't trust them about the paternity of a chilsd but that also don't trust them enough to have an adult conversation with them.

As a PP has pointed out , people generally only seek a paternity test where there is already a significant doubt so it is not surprising that a significant proportion of such tests come back showing that the putative father is not the biological father.

I think if you are considering such a test then it is generally going to be more productve to ask yourself why you are so untrusting of your partner, and to consider spending the money on family therapy or counselling instead, to improve your communications and trust with your partner.

Except in a case where of a new born, I would also be asking ourself about your relationship with the child. If you are their Daddy, are you really saying you would throw away that love and that relalstionship if you tun out not to be biologically related, or would you say "this is my child, I've ben there for her her whole life, I love her, and I am her Dad" in which case, be her dad and enjoy it.

Marvel1

TBagpuss wrote: »

Except in a case where of a new born, I would also be asking ourself about your relationship with the child. If you are their Daddy, are you really saying you would throw away that love and that relalstionship if you tun out not to be biologically related, or would you say "this is my child, I've ben there for her her whole life, I love her, and I am her Dad" in which case, be her dad and enjoy it.

I think I would be there for the child, but not the Mother.

Gavin83

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Dear Gavin83

Thanks for sharing your opinions with us.

Indeed, you, like others here are entitled to your opinions.

Your "doubts" appear to stack up with the fundamentals. however, and let us never forget, that facts can be stranger than fiction and that is a proven fact.

It goes without saying that the vast majority that cheats on their OH will NOT own up to the fact that they have laid another or been laid.

Cheating/deception, if that was not bad enough, your OH becoming pregnant by someone you hate is a very awful.

IMO, if one has doubts, best to find out sooner than later and then move on if your OH has done the dirty on you.

I don't doubt it happens, just the volume at which they suggest. Where do they even get their figure of 30% from anyway? If they don't find out about the majority of cases how can they quiz these people? It's a totally made up figure and therefore makes it no more valid than mine.

I do imagine it would be easy for a women who'd had sex with multiple partners and got pregnant to pick the guy who's she's actually with or who would be the better provider and never say it might not be his.

FBaby wrote: »

My kids don’t look like me at all and never have, but still I could see within days/weeks of their birth that one had the definite shape of my eyes, and the other my hair!

I've never seen a single baby that I think looks like their parents. I always thought it was one of them things people just said to be polite. Older kids sure, but babies just look like babies to me.

Brightonsbest_2

tea_lover wrote: »

Being the daddy does not depend on having contributed the initial building blocks.

Hi

Many thanks for sharing your opinions which I agree with. However, I trust you have completely misunderstood the nature of this thread. We are debating the fact where the usually the husband or parent believes the child is his in a bilogical manner but has his doubts and conducts a secret DAN test.

Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

Brightonsbest_2

cjdavies wrote: »

I think I would be there for the child, but not the Mother.

and that indeed is a fact in the vast majority of cases. No man, nor any woman in their right minds want to be deceived and that is a fact.

Brightonsbest_2

Many thanks Gavin for sharing another post with us today. Like everyone, you are entitled to your opinions which I respect.

ATB

Brightonsbest_2

TBagpuss wrote: »

Yes, i think the poll needs more options.

.


.

Hi

Many thanks for your opinions. I completely agree with you that the poll needs more options. I apologise for not incuding a 'no' opition but unable to change that.

tea_lover

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Hi

Many thanks for sharing your opinions which I agree with. However, I trust you have completely misunderstood the nature of this thread. We are debating the fact where the usually the husband or parent believes the child is his in a bilogical manner but has his doubts and conducts a secret DAN test.

Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

What a staggeringly patronising troll you are.