A Ditherer's Diary (again)

Sun_Addict

I’m the same with the last minute holiday spends, not all of them necessary 😬 Good idea to have a last minute holiday splurge pot in place ready for the next one. 

Naomim

Hello All,

Isn't it mad you get out of the habit of coming on for a couple of weeks, spend like mad and then give up. 

I'm really beginning to sound like a broken record saying I must look at the budget and tweak things. 

Life has been up and down. 18yo is a worry with drinking & possibly drugs. 13yo going back to school next week and had to get new uniform as its all changed. I've convinced her last years shoes will do for now with a spit & polish.

Work is still absolutely manic but I like it that way as it is a good distraction from home life. 

Our holiday was lovely, feels like so long ago now. Came back and collected doggo from kennels and they tried to charge us £125  more. MrM refused as said all charges were paid on booking. They have agreed to write it off. Next day, took doggo for a lovely walk and she sliced her paw open so spent another £220 at the vets. 

13yo and I spent a lovely but expensive weekend in Portsmouth with my bf and her daughter whilst 18yo went to the IoW to see his best friend.  So I'm hoping to have a quiet month as end of Oct is dd's birthday and my big 50th party in November.

Hopefully I'll post some more regular updates. 

Naomim

KajiKita

Lovely to ‘see’ you again 😊
I was wondering if your eldest might be causing concern as it sounded as if he as starting to struggle. Is he working now or at college?
You’ve got a lot on. Be kind to yourself in the midst of it all. I suspect you’ve kept some good habits going even if you haven’t been tracking per se. 

What are your plans for your 50th? 😊

KK

Naomim

@KajiKita thanks for popping by. 

18 has now finished college, he's working in a pub kitchen and picking up more shifts but it is part time. Ideally I'd like him to look for some full time employment at a restaurant or hotel but MrM doesn't think he'd cut it.  We'll see what happens for now. 

I'm having a party at home for my 50th. Putting doggo in kennels for the night as it will be too overwhelming for her with lots of people here. I just sent my invitation out this afternoon and have been working on my playlist for months! 

Food wise will be doing some platters I think. Been looking at Morrisons & Costco. Just finger food, nothing hot and fiddly.

KajiKita

Sounds like 18 is doing okay then, if not brilliantly. I think we all forget how weird and long the covid lockdown was for them - proportionally much more of their time on earth and just at the time when they would normally be getting work experience sessions and little jobs to build that adult social confidence and interaction skills. To go from school to full time adulting must be a bit of a shock. 

The party sounds like it’s going to be fun 🤩 

KK

Naomim

Just had a look at the credit cards. Got £6k charging interest 😭 I have a card I think I can transfer a fair amount if not all to. Will check it tomorrow. 

In good news,  I've won £50 on the premium bonds and transferred £30 from my round ups pot to my savings account. 

KajiKita

But you checked and have a plan 😊👏

Yaay for the PB win and the £30 to savings. See, good habits …. 😊❤️

KK

Baileys_Babe

KajiKita said:

Sounds like 18 is doing okay then, if not brilliantly. I think we all forget how weird and long the covid lockdown was for them - proportionally much more of their time on earth and just at the time when they would normally be getting work experience sessions and little jobs to build that adult social confidence and interaction skills. To go from school to full time adulting must be a bit of a shock. 

The party sounds like it’s going to be fun 🤩 

KK

I think this is a fair point and thank you for reminding us. The lockdowns seem to have had a bigger negative impact on my now 18 yo than my 14 yo. My eldest seems to have lost their direction, they are not doing anything wrong more a case of not doing much of anything 😞 @Naomim I hope your 18 yo sorts out their current problems quickly without causing to many problems 🤗

KajiKita

Baileys_Babe said:

KajiKita said:

Sounds like 18 is doing okay then, if not brilliantly. I think we all forget how weird and long the covid lockdown was for them - proportionally much more of their time on earth and just at the time when they would normally be getting work experience sessions and little jobs to build that adult social confidence and interaction skills. To go from school to full time adulting must be a bit of a shock. 

The party sounds like it’s going to be fun 🤩 

KK

I think this is a fair point and thank you for reminding us. The lockdowns seem to have had a bigger negative impact on my now 18 yo than my 14 yo. My eldest seems to have lost their direction, they are not doing anything wrong more a case of not doing much of anything 😞 @Naomim I hope your 18 yo sorts out their current problems quickly without causing to many problems 🤗

There’s a bit of me that thinks I shouldn’t comment, after all I don’t have children! But there are others on these boards where it’s their 18 year olds who are drifting and struggling and their younger children are still focused and driven. 

There has been much talk about the effect of covid on younger children, and whilst I don’t doubt that is significant, they are still sufficiently malleable and plastic to still be able to adapt and catch up, especially with adult support or role models. 

By the time you are 16 or 17 going into two years of lockdowns etc when you are typically already stepping away from parental influence - that inevitable process - the lockdowns left you in a void of ‘what’s next’ …. I can follow the logic of how this might cause issues. 

KK

EssexHebridean

I think KK is right about the good habits staying in place. This is the beauty of the "DFW process", to me - the small changes that you make, usually early on, that tick away in the background doing their thing. For us it was setting the CC to clear off in full - almost always I have cleared it ahead of the DD date anyway, but if for whatever reason I didn't, then the DD would kick in and clear it anyway, and for us, with the way we use it, that works well. There is other stuff too - breaking the habit of just "going shopping" for something to do as an example.

Also the "great proportion of life" aspect of the covid impact is a good one too - while younger children should in theory be more impacted, they are also that much more adaptable as below around 11 I'd guess they've not yet had experience of really being able to make life decisions for themselves, so are much more used to going with the flow of what is decided for them. A late-teen though has already passed through the early stages of independence and so to suddenly be told that rigid new rules are applying that they must follow - to have all that newly discovered autonomy removed again, must have been a bitter pill to swallow. Some will handle that better than others I imagine.