One great thing about not having a GIRLFRIEND

bearcat16

Having a girlfriend should be a break even situation (or even generate a small profit) otherwise you're doing something wrong.

Trina90

For my Fiance it was the other way round. He had nothing when we got together - a rubbish job that wouldn't lead anywhere, no savings, lived with his parents. I got him the fulltime job he has now and put him on the right track to saving. Only disadvantage is, he now has a mortgage to pay for!:D

indiepanda

Trina90 wrote: »

For my Fiance it was the other way round. He had nothing when we got together - a rubbish job that wouldn't lead anywhere, no savings, lived with his parents. I got him the fulltime job he has now and put him on the right track to saving. Only disadvantage is, he now has a mortgage to pay for!:D

I had a similar situation. An ex of mine was living in a really grotty flat when we met and hardly owned anything - just about enough clothes to fill a washing machine etc. He was in a low paid job, only got paid for days when they had work and was sending a lot of money back to his family in Eastern Europe. For most of the time he was living with me I didn't charge him anything towards rent / bills, we just split food and social costs, I even paid for some of the holidays.

I had one boyfriend who paid for all our dates because he insisted on it and I didn't really like it but he would have been offended if I insisted on paying my way and I couldn't have afforded half of what he wanted to do anyway. We were both young and in full time education at the time but I was living away from home and he was living with parents, so although we both had the same part time jobs (i.e. where we met) I needed mine towards living costs which his parents were covering.

Ever since then, at best I've split costs and at worst I've ended up paying more of the costs in any relationship (I tend to earn more than partners). Had the odd internet date where they've insisted on paying but it wasn't asked for or even really appreciated as I can afford to pay for myself and don't want to feel under pressure to accept another date just because they paid for this one.

indiepanda

bearcat16 wrote: »

Having a girlfriend should be a break even situation (or even generate a small profit) otherwise you're doing something wrong.

It depends doesn't it? Some guys like my ex would stay home on his own and eat pot noodles if he was single, whereas when I went to visit him we would at least go to the supermarket and buy some fresh pasta to eat at home, and we went on lots of day trips together.

No matter how cheap the dates I devised (and we didn't go fancy places), staying home and watching TV and eating pot noodles was always going to be cheaper. He also didn't feel the cold and would turn the thermostat up from 16C to 18C in his flat when I visited.

I am sure his expenses dropped when we split as he was quite the introvert and wouldn't have traded the time with me for more time out with friends. Mine didn't as I just spent more time going out with friends and going for weekends away with my social club, in fact they probably rose.

That's despite me more than paying our way on our dates as we took it in turns to pay for meals / drinks out, but I always drove on our many day trips as he didn't own a car and we ate more meals at my home than his.

Lily-Rose_3

Trina90 wrote: »

For my Fiance it was the other way round. He had nothing when we got together - a rubbish job that wouldn't lead anywhere, no savings, lived with his parents. I got him the fulltime job he has now and put him on the right track to saving. Only disadvantage is, he now has a mortgage to pay for!:D

indiepanda wrote: »

I had a similar situation. An ex of mine was living in a really grotty flat when we met and hardly owned anything - just about enough clothes to fill a washing machine etc. He was in a low paid job, only got paid for days when they had work and was sending a lot of money back to his family in Eastern Europe. For most of the time he was living with me I didn't charge him anything towards rent / bills, we just split food and social costs, I even paid for some of the holidays.

Ever since then, at best I've split costs and at worst I've ended up paying more of the costs in any relationship (I tend to earn more than partners). Had the odd internet date where they've insisted on paying but it wasn't asked for or even really appreciated as I can afford to pay for myself and don't want to feel under pressure to accept another date just because they paid for this one.

These 2 ^

One thing I have noticed on here, on other message boards, and in real life, is that some men seem to resent it a lot more if they end up shelling out more money for a woman, than women do if they end up shelling out more money for a man.

I also know more men who are 'tight' with their money than I know women who are. Not all men are tight of course, but I know more men who are than women.

Several couples we know have separate finances, and whilst she chucks fivers and tenners around for coffees and beers, he holds onto his wallet like it's a little baby, and resents even getting it out, let alone opening it!

We went out the other night with this one couple we have drinks with now and again, and she turned up first (him half hour later.) We got ourselves a drink when we got there, then bought her one when she came in, then when he came, we bought all four of us a drink. Then SHE bought all four a drink with a £20 note. (2 were cokes.) She got £9.50 change which she left on the table. When her back was turned he picked it up, and used it towards his round. :rotfl:

Also in another (married) couple we know, he has taken her to 3 hospital appointments in the past month in HIS car, (three 20 mile round trips,) and has had the petrol money off her each time! :rotfl: Tight doesn't even begin to cover it. There are a number of couples I know like this, and I have many more examples... (And in almost all of the examples, including the two I have illustrated, the man earns more!)

indiepanda wrote: »

It depends doesn't it? Some guys like my ex would stay home on his own and eat pot noodles if he was single, whereas when I went to visit him we would at least go to the supermarket and buy some fresh pasta to eat at home, and we went on lots of day trips together.

No matter how cheap the dates I devised (and we didn't go fancy places), staying home and watching TV and eating pot noodles was always going to be cheaper. He also didn't feel the cold and would turn the thermostat up from 16C to 18C in his flat when I visited.

I am sure his expenses dropped when we split as he was quite the introvert and wouldn't have traded the time with me for more time out with friends. Mine didn't as I just spent more time going out with friends and going for weekends away with my social club, in fact they probably rose.

That's despite me more than paying our way on our dates as we took it in turns to pay for meals / drinks out, but I always drove on our many day trips as he didn't own a car and we ate more meals at my home than his.

This ^ Obviously staying at home eating a pot noodle, and not going out, is going to be a cheaper life for ANYone. Then again, being with someone indefinitely/in a couple is cheaper than being single, for anyone. It's not rocket science! I am baffled by the original post.

Loz01

If you don't like spending a lot of money in a relationship, WHY DO IT? No one is forcing you to go on nights out and drink and smoke and eat out or have takeaways... just say no... jeez

motorguy

bearcat16 wrote: »

Having a girlfriend should be a break even situation (or even generate a small profit) otherwise you're doing something wrong.

+1

Relationships are about sharing. If they are weighted - financially or otherwise - in favour of one person or the other then theres something wrong.

motorguy

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I am baffled by the original post.

Its either a wind up to be antagonistic, or the O/P is trying to convince themselves that not being in a relationship is "ok" - which it is, just not for financial reasons.

motorguy

ChrisJones1 wrote: »

My bank balance is in a very healthy state :T

Sorry to hear you were in a one sided relationship.

Hope it works out better for you next time.

getmore4less

motorguy wrote: »

Sorry to hear you were in a one sided relationship.

Hope it works out better for you next time.

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