Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World

indiepanda

ali-t wrote: »

Indie, it definitely sounds like his issue. Move on, be grateful for the lucky escape (and contraception) and find someone worthy of your love and affection.

LaineyT wrote: »

It's certainly his issue Indie and I am actually quite :mad: on your behalf that he had started to feel this way before he initiated taking the relationship further but still did so.
Enjoy your holiday, relish spending time with your friends doing something you love, accept the attention of the dancing partner and let it be salve to your sore heart.
A is not worthy of you m'dear, hugs x

Thanks both. Have to admit I am pretty mad at him too for that Lainey and said so. He admits he messed up big time and feels really guilty. Well, more fool him, if he had handled it better he might have got what he really wants which is my friendship. But I am not at all convinced I am a big enough person to be friends after this.

indiepanda

sukeyboo wrote: »

So sorry to hear about 'A' Indie - that was really selfish of him to let things go that far when he seemed to have already made his mind up about continuing the relationship. Hope you have a lovely time off hiking - where are you off to? As you say, it will give you something else to focus on and hopefully you will come back in a positive frame of mind . Hope things work out with your parents too.

Intend to do a spot of home pampering over the weekend - manicure & pedicure at least. I have been neglecting myself a bit of late - too many issues at home and no time to just sit back and relax. Things seem to be starting to sort themselves out now so with any luck that will change

Thanks sukeyboo. I am going to Glen Coe in Scotland - meant to be beautiful there although I've been warned it might be rather midge infested - have bought plenty of insect repellent.

Enjoy your home pampering. I know I've been struggling to keep on top of everything lately and still find some time to do that sort of thing but I feel so much better once I've done it.

lessonlearned

Hi indie......so sorry to hear about "A". Not nice at all. TBH sounds like you have had a lucky escape although I m sure you don't feel that way at the moment. But it is his loss.

hope you have a good holiday.

indiepanda

lessonlearned wrote: »

Hi indie......so sorry to hear about "A". Not nice at all. TBH sounds like you have had a lucky escape although I m sure you don't feel that way at the moment. But it is his loss.

Oh, I think you are very right, I really don't need a boyfriend that emotionally !!!!!!. He was even trying not to say anything till after my holiday to avoid spoiling it. Who would think coming back from holiday to a pile of emails and work would be improved by getting dumped too!!!!?

At least this way I don't have a week of being distracted from my holiday by feeling uneasy wondering why he is being off with me and why he isn't messaging as often as he did. The deed is done and the healing can begin while I am somewhere which won't remind me of him at all.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

I will be having more heart tests on Tuesday and once those results are with my GP they can then decide what course of treatment will be best. I am doing 4 sets of exercises daily that my physiotherapist recommended after my assessment with her yesterday. I have a return appointment with her on 13th July.

Indie, you are well rid of A. His issues are not your responsibility. I am shocked at his callous, selfish behaviour. Take the time when you are away to grieve for a day for the loss of hope for the relationship and then move on and enjoy your holiday with your friends.

Chanie, when I was at my great niece's Christening on Sunday, one of my sister's asked me about Wayne and that is when I realised I did not miss him at all and literally had stopped even having any thoughts about him. I love being Independent.

I am still in daily pain, but it is much more manageable because it is no longer so intense. I just take each day as it comes. The main thing is that as I am getting more sleep and resting a lot, my symptoms are not so severe and I am slowly improving.

indiepanda

sugarbaby125 wrote: »

Hello Ladies,

I will be having more heart tests on Tuesday and once those results are with my GP they can then decide what course of treatment will be best. I am doing 4 sets of exercises daily that my physiotherapist recommended after my assessment with her yesterday. I have a return appointment with her on 13th July.

Indie, you are well rid of A. His issues are not your responsibility. I am shocked at his callous, selfish behaviour. Take the time when you are away to grieve for a day for the loss of hope for the relationship and then move on and enjoy your holiday with your friends.

Chanie, when I was at my great niece's Christening on Sunday, one of my sister's asked me about Wayne and that is when I realised I did not miss him at all and literally had stopped even having any thoughts about him. I love being Independent.

I am still in daily pain, but it is much more manageable because it is no longer so intense. I just take each day as it comes. The main thing is that as I am getting more sleep and resting a lot, my symptoms are not so severe and I am slowly improving.

Well done on doing all your exercise and glad to hear your symptoms are less severe now, hope the doctor can get you well on the road to full recovery soon.

Good to hear you've got Wayne out of your system. Even being independent that's not always easy to do.

You're right it's hopes I am really mourning for, not like he'd become a meaningful part of my life, hadn't even introduced him to my friends or met any of his.

I have no idea how to let my guard down enough to give a relationship a chance to develop whilst keeping it high enough to avoid getting hurt. Probably because it's almost impossible to do - you have to be willing to take a bit of a risk.

lessonlearned

Going to join in the discussion about relationships.....

It's nearly 3 years since my husband died and although I'm not ready to "set my stall out" :rotfl: just yet I have started thinking it would be nice to have some male company now and again......but where do I start. I'm terrified. The idea of dating just fills me with dread and yet I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life in metaphorical "widows weeds".

Today I was in Sainsbury's and everywhere I looked I could see retired couples, happily shopping together, chatting and just enjoying each other's company. I have to say I felt a slight pang of envy. I blinked back the tears and managed to get back to my car without embarrassing myself but I sobbed all the way home.

Maybe I'm just a bit more fragile than normal this week but I have really missed my husband these last few days. It doesn't get any easier.

I am also feeling very delicate over the "divorce" with my sister. I guess I just have to be patient. I need to give it time to heal my sore heart.

I sometimes think it would be lovely to meet a nice man but realistically I don't think I could cope with any more heartache at the moment.

The dating landscape seems very different from when I last took an active part. It seems so callous and brutal. I have a friend who has been widowed for 6 years now and has tried internet dating. I feel some of the men she has met have not been nice people, selfish, disrespectful and heartless.

The "dating game" just seems so fraught with difficulties, I don't think I could cope. I know that romantic relationships require a leap of faith but I doubt I have that kind of courage anymore.

lessonlearned

Sugarbaby.....glad to hear you are feeling a little better. Keep up the good work with your Physio.

Well I've now got all the results back from my knee. Surgery is required but the consultant has advised to wait as long as possible because I will need a complete knee replacement. At The moment on a scale of 0 to 10 we are looking at a 5.

So, with the consultants help and guidance, I'm trying a number of self help measures, with maybe the odd steroid injection as and when to see if I can postpone surgery for a while yet.

I feel relieved that surgery is not urgent and will do all I can to help myself.....starting with shifting some weight. That will help enormously.

I've managed to lose just under 5 lb so far.....:D

lessonlearned

Ps. Welcome Maggie M :hello:

indiepanda

Oh sending huge hugs in your direction LL. I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone who you've loved for so long, never been with anyone more than three years myself and that was quite hard enough to deal with when it ended.

I think you are probably right not to start dating again while things are still feeling raw - I think when we are feeling vulnerable we are particularly at risk from the nasty people in the dating pool.

I am starting to feel like internet dating is a waste of time. Even the ones that seem normal at first seem to turn out to be bad news in one way or another.

Suspect the few decent single guys out there get snapped up when they are out doing activities they enjoy and don't need to get as far as internet dating. Maybe the best thing to do is to keep oneself busy and include some social activities (my choice is hiking and dancing) and hope to meet someone who shares that interest and be able to get to know them a bit gradually without the pressure of "dating".