From debt to freedom...

savingholmes

I wouldn't feel guilty about the pizza. I would talk to the police asap. It's getting ridiculous - not that it wasn't already. 

Love that you are reclaiming the space and making it yours. Definitely keep doors locked at all times. How is the CCTV coming along?

janb5

Well done on keeping your sangfroid during all this hassle- you are so amazing and inspirational!

I`m adding my two pennoth to reporting his aggressive behaviour and maybe the police will install a webcam as actually he does have history of this behaviour.  Also means you don't have to fork out for it but there is an audit trail. .... 
Report all his actions to the courts, domestic violence unit the police the  Church etc.  All ammunition useful. He can hardly demonstrate that he supported his family financially during this long separation.

I am just suspicious as to what he will do next as he is a total recidivist.

Kitten868

I love the enthusiasm for reclaiming your space. I would love if it one day he woke up to all of his garden junk at his house. I think another poster is right that should clear the house of items that do not belong to residents of the house. I also wonder if you could buy a big obvious camera. Is he the sort to be deterred by that? I think you're like me and would rather deter any drama than catch him in the act. 
I think one resolution you should have is to no longer finance your older children. No insurance or mobile phone payments etc. Hammer your outgoings down to the essentials. I know you've reduced all these but it might be time to totally eliminate it. I could be way off the mark here so I apologise if I am. 
Facebook marketplace, gumtree and eBay are great resources for you. Always plant pots on there at the very least! 

Glad you've had a lovely Christmas xxxx

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Buffy, Parkyp, Spendless,  Cranky40, SH, Janb5 and Kitten868. 

SH - a small camera has been up for about 3 or 4 weeks, ever since the key was taken. That is focused on the door and picks up movement which is then relayed to DD’s phone. A friend has offered to help with fitting an outside one but with us having had Covid in  the house over Christmas, it’s not happened yet, but will soon.

Cranky40 - I’ve wondered that too, many a time as to why the junk isn’t going.

Spendless - I think you are right about control... DD3 says that she can’t find all of the furniture at the ex’s that was taken.

Today has been a nicely busy day. We have got all of the walls in one room painted with at least 2 coats of paint and I’m thrilled with the results. The bolts were delivered today and LFTs allowing, my lovely dad will help me to fit them tomorrow. I did do a small food shop at Mr T’s and have made kedgeree for tea tonight. Found a recipe for winter pudding, an interesting alternative to summer pudding so have made that and a pavlova. I’d run out of cornflour so looked up what to do as an alternative. Nigella’s website suggested using 3 tbsp of cocoa powder which will do the same as the cornflour. That saved a 2nd trip to the shops and more money being spent! The resulting  chocolate pavlova looks lovely!

Spendless

The puddings sound nice as does the colour you've been painting recently. I forgot to comment on that. You love the sea, think it will be a very calming area to be in, once you've done.

welshspendthrift

@Honeysucklelou2 I have been reading your posts for a while and I think you are amazing to have managed so well despite your horrible deranged ex, I echo what others have said re logging with police and solicitor. I hope that he leaves you alone in future and you are able to get on with your life and making your home yours. Painting and pudding sound fab. You truly are amazing. 

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Spendless and welcome Welshspendthrift, thank you for your kind words.

The last couple of days haven’t gone to plan! Yesterday I had plans to meet up with my DB, DSIL and DNS, the first time in over 2 years due to Covid. We all did LFTs beforehand but we had one down ☹️, so we had to adapt and see through windows.

Today I had hoped to have cracked on with getting some work done for Tuesday but decided to try and mend my desk first. It took me an hour to not get very far at all, in fact my endeavours seemed to be making it worse, so I wedged it against the wall with a couple of heavy boxes. I did look up new desks online but can’t justify it at the moment. The manoeuvring round of stuff to get to try and mend the desk took some time to clear. I’ve been able to shred some old paperwork and file some other paperwork.

It was payday today for all 3 jobs as the last day of the month fell on a Friday.  January is already looking to be tight, as my pay is less than I’d hoped. I did less hours in Job 3 as demand was low in Christmas week and my boss tested positive for Covid in Job 2 so there has been no work for the last 10 days. I had been due to work extra shifts in Christmas week, so a bit disappointing that I haven’t been able to but the unexpected blessing has been having a full two weeks off. Means I will have to be very careful money wise in January. As a result I’ve only saved £25 with Help to Save this month.

The chocolate pavlova turned out well, so will try that again.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and peaceful new year. 🥂🥳

savingholmes

Happy New Year

On the desk - I found a lovely glass top and then used 2 x 4 square K@ll@x units - whole desk cost £63 via FB. I  could have got much cheaper desks on FB but happy with the one I created...

Jill12

Happy New Year Lou!

Covid this time round seems to be effecting everyone one and I feel the guidance being offered around isolating and close contacts in less than clear!! I am lucky enough to have Covid three times but never been overly unwell with it. I found plenty of paracetamol and rest/ sleep was enough for me to mend. Hope everyone feels better soon and those LFT's start showing only one line! 

Cherryfudge

Happy New Year! Rotten luck over the Covid test, I hope the person is okay and it doesn't spread. Meeting through windows isn't the same, I know, but it's better than not meeting. This present wave of the virus does seem to be getting in the way hugely but maybe it will be a storm that blows itself out quickly.

It must have been difficult not getting the pay you had looked forward to, is Job 2 likely to be back soon? You work so hard, though, that maybe the enforced rest will be 'money in the bank' against the next round of work. In terms of energy I mean.

Well done for still putting something in savings!