From debt to freedom...

Humdinger1

Yep, piling in on locks, CCTV and telling solicitors.  It's a bl**dy cheek and spooky. Am sure you'll sort it HL love Humdinger xx 

savingholmes

Thinking of you

crazy_cat_lady

When I think that your ex can't get any worse - there he goes again...
I hope that you can get it sorted out sooner rather than later. As you know, my court fees completely wiped me out and put me back into debt but it has been completely worth it. I agree that you should tell your solicitor about the lock, and maybe mention an occupation order. Yes it's more cost but he will be arrested if he's found to be within a certain distance of the house. I found that very reassuring with my ex.

enthusiasticsaver

I am sorry you are still getting grief from your ex and it sounds like he is manipulating the DC who now live with him. Sadly I would agree that you need your day in court to put all this behind you but that isn’t cheap. I would change the locks but be very selective as to which DC you give the spare keys to and read the riot act to the ones who no longer live with you. They don’t need a key to your house if they live with your ex in view of his behaviour and attitude. 

janb5

I'd also report this to the police.
It's abuse.

Spendless

Oh good grief HSL!  I'm just having a catch up and that is certainly creepy! Yes, get a locksmith out. I had a new lock fitted last week to my front  door (last two had broken!) it cost £70ish  and came with 3 keys. The keys are some anti theft ones. They have a security number connected  to them, that you have to quote to get another  and cost £16 each to replace. So, yes a bit dear if you need any additional one, but puts in another security step.

I do understand about your need to reduce debt for mortgage purposes but currently I think your need for safety (including psychological safety) overrides  any overpayments you're making. Once the car's MOT is sorted (fingers crossed it's good news) I'd use the EF if there's anything in there to change the locks and up your security 

I'd talk to the locksmith about your discovery and see what they suggest plus get the security camera. My guess is once the locksmith sees the door and screw they'll be able to identify exactly how it happened. I also echo reporting the matter to both the solicitor and the police. In addition I'd also have a chat to whichever DC handed over their key to another sibling. As I once said years ago (in this case to my DD school who had taken her door key as 'security' for her borrowing a school tie I think and then couldn't find it when she returned the tie and it was missing for the whole summer hols) the key to your home is not the property of the child using one. It is YOUR key on loan to them. Under no circumstances do they lend it to another, not without checking with you first. I realise you don't have jobs where you can reply to calls/messages, so if you can't be got hold of, then DC that doesn't live with you can't borrow one. If there's an emergency why they need to access your house then the child with the key accompanies them and keeps the key on their possession. If that isn't possible then it's tough they will have to wait. I would also give some details to the DC with your keys some info about why you are putting in this rule, just so if there's sibling chit chat between the 2 households then there's awareness that you're on to them but don't reveal your full hand so whoever is responsible doesn't start thinking of their next move.  

Buffythedebtslayer

Honeysuckle, that is actually disgusting and scary. What an !!!!!!. 

Hopefully in the going from one job to another you managed to get the locks changed etc. I agree with telling the solicitor and having photographs. 

Sending love HS xxx

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you everyone for your comments, which are much appreciated.  I have taken photos of the screw that has been tampered with. DD3 fitted a camera up which alerts you if there is movement, so that has given us a degree of reassurance.  I have mentioned the lock issues to the solicitor and asked if there is anything else I should do. My lovely dad came up last weekend and looked at it, researched it and obtained a set of drill bits that help to removed damaged screws. This afternoon he came up and we were able to get the tampered screw out and get the new lock fitted. I am seeing this as a stopgap.  I like that option that you mentioned @Spendless in needing to have a code in order to get keys cut. That sounds the best option long term, but at least I can go to work this week without worrying the whole time I’m there about who might be accessing the house in my absence.

It’s also a good idea to talk to the children about keys. I think the problem was that it was an older DC demanding the key from a younger DD so she didn’t feel able to refuse.  I will talk to them about the importance of keeping the key secure and out of sight.

This week has just been a whirl of work, work and more work! Some positives though...
The car passed its MOT, having only needed a couple of minor repairs and the cost was under £100.😀

The one aspect about having more than 1 job I’d not thought about is having more than 1 Christmas do!  Job 3 held theirs yesterday. I’ve never worked in a job whereby your boss pays for the do, so it was quite an eye opener to enjoy this lovely evening with colleagues - even made it to the dance floor and danced away which was great for helping me to forget current worries🙂.

Had a letter from my electricity supplier to say I was being moved to Ov0.  I didn’t ask to be moved but it appears to be happening anyway 🤷‍♀️.

Next week looks eventful, which I’m not looking forward to 😞.

Honeysucklelou2

I was really cross with myself as I forgot to pay £50 into the Help 2 Save in November. Must remember to get it sorted this month.

CRANKY40

I pay my HTS by standing order.....it can always be cancelled if there's no funds. You have no idea how happy I am to know that your dad has sorted out your door lock.