From debt to freedom...

Cherryfudge

That's fantastic on both counts - the decluttering and the debt reduction. You are really carving out your own identity as you get rid of the things that have been in the way of it. I can envisage a lovely garden emerging too.

Buffythedebtslayer

Your ex is utterly disgusting. Honeysuckle I am so sorry you have to have him in your life. It just is not fair. 

I know that doesn't help. Good on the decluttering and the paying things off. You are one impressive woman. XX 

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you DAL, Cherryfudge and Buffy.

Cherryfudge - I do have these ideas in my mind for how I want the garden to look! The space now available with some of the clutter gone is great to see and is definitely spurring me on to do more.  I have some of the materials already bought earlier in the year so all ready to go. There are 2 old Belfast sinks in the garden, one was planted up with s9me hardy annuals but the slugs have had other ideas so I’ve bought some copper tape in the hope that this will be a deterrent and save my plants. We have lots of blackbirds in the hedges around the garden so I don’t want to use slug pellets and risk the birds eating them. I have some herb seedlings growing which I intend to plant in the 2 nd sink. Hopefully these will be easier to access on a  daily basis than the allotment.

Picked  up an extra shift this evening in a different area to usual, which was interesting for a change. Hopefully it will mean extra money in next week’s pay to keep going on the debt repayments. I had a nice surprise in Job 1’s pay amount. I have been paid for the extra time done...I wasn’t expecting it until the end of August!  I have a horrible feeling that I need to make sure I have some extra money set aside for legal fees.Although I do pay an amount every month and had built up quite a healthy balance, the amount of work done recently will have decimated this so am expecting to need to add to this.

I also managed a trip to the tip today🙂. Some garden waste has gone ( clippings from the bay hedge) and a collection of  gardening rubbish as I sorted through the patio area. It’s good to have time to do some sorting and each trip to the tip feels like an accomplishment!!

janb5

HI HSL - do you have a green bin collection in your area.  In ours it`s £60 per year for all green waste collection and saves trips to the tip. Twice a month in the summer months.  Well done on remaining calm with the ex..easier said than done!

Sun_Addict

I’m using these for the slugs, they seem to be doing the trick so far 🤞

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Janb5 and SA.

SA - Thank you for the recommendation. I haven’t seen any of these but will look more earnestly at the garden centre.

Janb5 - Yes the local council does do a green waste bin which doesn’t seem an unreasonable price given that it is emptied every fortnight. I think going forwards it’s a good plan to use this scheme. Thank you for the tip.

Don’t quite know what’s happened to this weekend, it’s flown by! Yesterday was a work evening so was quite tired after that. Yesterday was also the birthday of one of the DCs that now lives elsewhere. Up to now I have communicated with the ex as to what the child wants to do on their birthday and food the child wants to eat etc and tried my best to be inclusive albeit suggesting places outside the home to meet up. This strategy no longer looks feasible as the communication element isn’t reciprocated. The birthday child had indicated he wanted to see his friends in the evening ( so on that basis I had carried on with my shift) and said he wanted to celebrate with family in the daytime. I was available, waiting to know what he wanted to do. Eventually he turned up at 1 ish and wanted a certain takeaway for lunch which I scrambled to get before the takeaway place closed. I was glad to see him but disappointed that all the children weren’t together at any one point to celebrate as has always been the case to now. Perhaps it’s indicative of the older ones getting older or due to the change in living arrangements-I have no idea.

I’ve done a fair amount of taxiing today but not really achieved a great amount at home. On an MSE level £50 of my job 2 wages have gone to Help to Save for a July payment bringing the new total to £450.🙂

Parkyp

I think as the get older they like to do spur of the moment things. My son graduated a few weeks ago and we’ve still not been out for a meal to celebrate because it’s too much effort to plan something. How hard is it to tell me when he’s free 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

Well done on your savings. 

Spendless

Think it's totally understandable for you to feel a bit deflated about one of them having a 'different' birthday. It's not like you anticipated this recent change and since the date is out of term time in the summer, completely understandable you were thinking things wouldn't be different this year. That's different to when a child has a term time birthday and you're aware in advance that they won't be around eg they're at Uni, are in the forces etc.

My daughter was on hol last week with her boyfriend, who had his 19th birthday on their last day there. He was excited to be doing something 'different' I expect his family didn't feel the same way. Wasn't planned that way though, they had 4 different dates to be away due to cancelled flights.

My 2 hit their 18th and 21st birthdays in the same month earlier this year. I've known since DD was born that would be the case and always thought we'd do something special for it. In reality we were still in lockdown for DS 21st and couldn't even see him and we only just had some restrictions lifted in time for DD's 18th so she could do some limited celebrations. I think what brought it home to me was 3 days after son's 21st, our dog was 2. He got presents given to him in person by us, a treat to a run around an enclosed field off lead (his recall isn't great!) and his favourite meal of a roast dinner. I never anticipated a time when I could do more for a dog's birthday than a special one of my son's. I would also say often it bothers you more than them. I didn't return to work till my eldest was 10 meaning I saw every school play/concert/sports day/ awards ceremony he did. I had to miss some of daughter's. I still remember how many I had to miss of hers- she doesn't!

Well I'm glad that you're doing the de-cluttering. Though you being dumped with an item of furniture that you didn't want or need when you weren't even in, is another beggars belief moment and then not wanting it back. Why dump there in the first place??!! Talk of the green bin charges for garden waste brought home how lucky we are, as we get this service for free, fortnightly within the spring-Autumn months (don't collect for a couple of months in Winter). The downside is it's the first to be taken away, so wasn't collected for ages during lockdown 1 and has recently suspended again due to staff shortages due to the pingdemic.   

janb5

The other plus point HSL is that you aren`t sitting in a queue on a hot day waiting to access the tip.  Even if I access the webcam to alert me of heavy traffic, unless I drive up there quickly, I invariably end up in a queue.  Also your car doesn't have all the waste sitting in the boot.  \just be very careful there is no evident soil as the powers that be reject it as it is then contaminated!

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Parkyp, Spendless & Janb5.

Spendless - that’s a good word to use -deflated. Later on in the year, 2 of the DDs celebrate their 18th and 21st birthdays. They are not in the same month but are only 3 weeks apart. Hopefully their birthdays will be better organised than DS2’s.

Janb5 -I didn’t know about soil and the tip 😳. Thankfully most of my garden waste is grass, weeds and hedge clippings, but I will be careful.

Did a shift at Job 2 today which left the evening free, so I came home, made some pasties and headed off to the beach with some of the children. DD2 and DS3 went in the sea whereas a younger  DD was happier sitting on the rocks.Evenings are definitely the best time to get to the beach when the day visitors have gone and the cool evening air is refreshing. The colours of the sunset are amazing to see. The pasties went down well...just had to avoid the gulls that like to swoop around!

I’ve spent some of the day trying to mull over jobs and income levels. Job 1 is my main source of income which I do for part of the week and I’m happy to stay there.  I also like Job 2 in terms of it being different to Job 1. I turn up, do the job and go home. There’s nothing to prepare in advance or think about except what I’m doing when I’m there. DS3 is less keen on Job 2 as it means I’m out for 3 evenings, although he does enjoy his time with the older ones. In winter the hours die back so in terms of secure income levels, it’s a little more tricky. I also need to factor in that DD1 and DD3 won’t be available to help with the younger ones due to their study commitments. So I’ve been keeping a look out for roles that would be similar to Job 1. I’ve found one that is sort of in the same field but more entry level so pay would be much less. It would impact the younger ones in terms of me possibly being later home for 2 nights a week, but still having the majority of the evening with the children. This job also has a permanent contract so would help over winter and with securing a mortgage. Need to put in an application...

Most direct debits went out of the bank account today which means £80 has gone off debts 🙂. £60 has been added to savings accounts which helps. I used some of the overtime to pay a bit more to the solicitors to hopefully keep the legal bill paid up.