From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Jan and SH.

Thank you so much for asking your friend. I think that’s where I’ve gone wrong - I have some chicken wire up but I’ve not dug it underneath. Interestingly the plants that have survived I’ve wrapped an extra bit of wire around so the plant is in a protected cylinder.  Cerinthe and  cornflowers  haven’t been affected so far.

NSD today. It should be a run day but I’m behind on my CPD course and have to catch up! I’d like to do the MSE course but am not letting myself sign up until I have finished this CPD.

Cherryfudge

What a fabulous walk!
Sorry to hear about the rabbits eating your crops though. I remember my Dad dug the chicken wire in deep around our rabbit run and they didn't escape, so I'll second Jan's suggestion.

savingholmes

How irritating on the allotment. Hope you get it sorted. On the days you don't just think of Peter Rabbit and see if that makes you smile... The coastal walk sounds amazing. I really want to go to the coast but where we would normally go is still off limits.

janb5

Hi HSL..just to let you know you inspired me to grow cerinthe!  All thanks to you!

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge, SH and Janb5.

Jan - I’m so glad you’ve felt inspired to grow cerinthe. It is a beautiful plant which attracts lots of bees. I’ve planted about 10 plants in a block, so at the moment , all you can hear is the buzzing of the bees as they go from flower to flower.

It was quite a wet week last week which limited visits to the allotment. At least everything outside got a good soaking! I got to the allotment on Saturday morning with DS1 and got the greenhouse plants watered and harvested a few more stems of sweet peas. Unfortunately the rabbit (s) has/have  started to munch the calendula and a couple of the sweet corn plants. DS1 did go off to the farm shop and pick up some wire for me so that I can rabbit proof the beds more.

I had to call the @A out on Sat morning as my car was absolutely dead. The battery needed replacing which the @A man did for me. It meant that between the wire and the battery, that the weekend turned out quite spendy🤔🙁.

The ex came round today , after I’d made several attempts to ascertain whether he was coming to see the children on Father’s Day or not. This gave me chance to go and visit my dad in a socially distanced way which was lovely. 

I had  a conversation with the ex on my return, trying to focus on the future and sorting out the house/ mortgage etc which did not go down well☹️. I can’t see how to get to mediation at this rate. 

On a a positive note I had a good chat with DD1 and firmed up arrangements for her coming home. I haven’t seen her since the beginning of January so am so glad she’s coming home.

janb5

Hi HSL.up with ? Infected big toe atm ( not so glamorous!)and just seen your post.
Vis a vis the Ex and these unusual circumstances can you bypass mediation as he is patently unwilling to participate?
You seem to be in stalemate which must increase your stress levels exponentially?
I know you emailed the solicitor ...did you have a helpful response?
Jan xx

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Jan...hope your toe is on the mend and less sore. Are you able to get out and about more after the  6th July?

The solicitor was helpful. The chat on Sunday was a last ditch attempt at trying to see if he would engage in talking to the mediator via technology but his reaction belied his unwillingness. I’ve tried to take things gently and slowly so as not to cause any more pain but I’m wondering if I’d have been better to get it sorted sooner so everyone can heal and not be in limbo.

Work is busy and between weekly tasks, reports and the CPD course, I’m kept busy. Desperate to get time at the allotment but can only seem to get there to water the greenhouse plants at the moment! I have some quinoa plants and some celery to go in as soon as the wire is in place.

janb5

Hi yes hopefully things are easing but I think lots of us are worried about a second wave of the virus.
Toe still swollen sadly!
I'm guessing only you can work out what's best for your family but all this relentless hostility is vile to deal with.

savingholmes

I would  want to just get it over with - it seems to have dragged on too long for you already. It doesn't sound a healthy situation for any of you.

crazy_cat_lady

You are such a patient and tolerant person HSL - I think I'm similar in terms of allowing for a lot of things, but once I've made my mind up about something then there's no changing it. The next step should be your mediator signing a form saying you have tried and he hasn't engaged, and then you can get on with taking him to court. I know this is easier said than done, but please try not to worry about that. The judge will be annoyed with your ex for refusing to engage when you've tried. Please think about setting up your 'what you want to happen' letter with your solicitor and getting that on the go. 
Hope you don't think I'm nagging you - I think that your ex is still attempting control in whatever way he can and he will probably only stop when someone else orders him to.