From debt to freedom...

savingholmes

Well done on clearing so much of the allotment. I bet you got a few nicks along the way. I always found pruning very therapeutic. Good exercise too.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you SH. I think I vented my frustrations of the weekend out on the brambles - very therapeutic 😉.

Yesterday was interesting...DD3 remembered on Sunday evening, that she had an interview at a college that is an hour’s drive away. I’m glad she remembered then and not on Monday morning . The younger ones came with us and were very good as DD wanted me in there with her. Funny how, they are all different. DD now has an offer for September so good to know she has a plan. Going  there meant some extra spending on petrol. DD really wanted to go shopping, now that she has started a small part time job at the weekend and has some money to spend. I hate shopping at the best of times, unless it involves plants or seeds😊, so negotiated that she could take the bus today  and shop to her heart’s content 😂.

On our return yesterday the ex was here 😳 for no apparent reason. DS2 had been at home so let him in, which is a natural response, but I’m going to email the solicitor today  for further advice. 

I got to the allotment to do a bit more but the wind was bitterly cold yesterday and I had DS3 with me, so it was a quick check and measuring of the glass panes. I bought 2 before Christmas which I thought would fit as they were standard greenhouse panes but my first greenhouse isn’t of standard size ( that’ll teach me to measure and not assume) so I was careful to check this time. The glass I bought won’t be wasted as the 2nd greenhouse, the one I’ve been clearing, is of standard size so the glass can be used. Two panes have been broken by the blackthorn saplings forcing their way up, so I will get those sorted out next.

Some seed sowing was done - lettuce ( Marvel of 4 Seasons), tomato ( Gardener’s Delight) and some more sweet peas. Not sure if the  sweet peas or tomatoes will germinate as they were from packets I’ve had in the cupboard for a couple of years but worth a try.

janb5

So pleased you are emailing the solicitor re EX.  Is it just my imagination but he seems to be `popping` up more...!
Love reading about the progress in the garden and the bramble bashing.  Here`s hoping the seeds rejuvenate!

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Janb5. It’s not your imagination...I went out yesterday and he was in the house again when I got back 😡. I spent about an hour composing an email to the solicitor to try and make sure I had explained recent events, so hopefully I will have a reply soon.

I had quite a quiet day yesterday as 1 child was visiting a friend, 2 went shopping so in the end I only had the youngest 2. We did spend a little as youngest DD needed trainers and we bought a few grocery needs.  I was able to get a few work tasks done. The decluttering was a little slower yesterday but I did recycle  2 bags of outgrown clothes.  I need to get some work work tasks done today so that I can concentrate on using the rest  of the week to get the tiling done.

crazy_cat_lady

Sooner you contact your solicitor, then the sooner you can hopefully get some closure on this incredibly stressful situation. I hope it's not too long

savingholmes

Great that your daughter has an offer for college - and is independent enough to go shopping using a bus.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you CCL &SH.

You’re  right SH, this shopping trip was particularly beneficial, I feel, because she did it without her older sisters, with whom she has gone in the past.

Yesterday (Wed) was somewhat exhausting, I think from having got up before my usual work waking time. I went to work, thinking I’d only be a couple of hours. 4 and a half hours later...!  I had the youngest children with me. A different DD had shoe issues today so had to deal with that. Fortunately she was able to find a pair in her size, in the sale section, so not as expensive as it could have been. £175 was paid out on nursery fees as well, so turned out to be quite a spendy day.

In the evening I had a tricky situation to navigate.  DD2’s place of work had a particular special cuisine evening, that she knew was a favourite type of food for me, so she had invited me for a meal. She had however, also invited DS1 and the ex 😨. It’s really awkward because if I don’t go, I upset DD2 and I know that the ex will twist it round but if I do go, I’m having to be with the ex for the evening which is stressful enough. It was a wanting to scream into a pillow moment 😱. I absolutely hate confrontation and have spent my life trying not to offend  people, so in the end I went, so as not to offend DD2.  I think she wanted to treat us the same.  DS1 and the ex largely ignored me, checking things on their phones,  which was fine. I chatted with DD2, ate the meal and left as soon as was politely decent enough to do so. I had  chatted with DD2, prior to getting there, that I would pay for my own meal, because I know she  has  a specific savings project that she is saving for and a deadline for that, so I wanted her to be able to save her money, not feel she had to pay for me. WhenI went to the bar to pay for my part, I had the ex starting to gripe in public at the bar, about how awkward I was being and how whatever he did wasn’t right. It was said loudly enough for others around to hear. It was bizarre since DD2 was paying for the others and we’d had a prior conversation about paying.  It was one of those moments that I had to let wash over me.  I was glad to get home.

It is so tricky because I want everything to be as amicable as possible for  the children’s sake and there are times  when, for the sake of the children, we will both have to be there eg graduations, birthdays.  It’s just hard when such moments occur that serve to remind me why I don’t live with him.

VelvetFreak

Ugh, I’m so sorry that you have to be in the same room as him. He seems like such a jerk  

janb5

I feel your pain and completely empathize with the fact that your aim is to remain dignified and not upset your children.
He is trying to canvas support but his actions let him down badly and your children will wise up to that.
As my mother used to say to me..." be a lady" and I`d also suggest you become extremely deaf!
You are doing a sterling job there with your family and remember to pat yourself on the back because it aint easy.
Sending a big virtual hug. xx

Cherryfudge

Wise comments there from janb5... I hope you get an ex-free few days now.