Dads Funeral

Keep_pedalling

peachyprice wrote: »

Of course it is (unless you're talking to people of religion).

Next you will be telling me it is a religion.:D

annandale

My family aren't religious but it mattered very much that my gran got the funeral she wanted. She had extended family who hadn't seen her for a long time and she wanted a private funeral and that's what she got. She wanted my mum there, me and my brother and that's what she got Her and my grandpa's song played. Just as she wanted

She died very suddenly and said family who hadn't bothered with her for years were unhappy that they weren't there and haven't spoken to us since

But that was her wishes and it was important to us that they were respected

I'm not religious but when I die I don't want fuss or bother but I want my funeral the way I want it

It does matter to me what happens to my body after I die. Being a non believer doesn't mean that it doesn't.

I still want my wishes to be respected and that means the same as my gran. Private funeral. No hangers on who couldn't be bothered when I was alive.

I'll probably outlive my brother but I'd be happy if no one was at my funeral. I don't want him to be upset, he can remember me as he pleases

(for being a bossy big sis)

Keep_pedalling

annandale wrote: »

I'm not religious but when I die I don't want fuss or bother but I want my funeral the way I want it

It does matter to me what happens to my body after I die. Being a non believer doesn't mean that it doesn't.

Out of genuine interest could you say why what happens to your body matters to you?

annandale

Choice. If it didn't matter them there would be no point in anyone religious or not making funeral plans.

I appreciate some people will leave their body to science but many won't.

peachyprice

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

Next you will be telling me it is a religion.:D

Don't be silly, atheists don't need to be part of a group to form their own beliefs on life, death, and everything in between

peachyprice

annandale wrote: »

My family aren't religious but it mattered very much that my gran got the funeral she wanted. She had extended family who hadn't seen her for a long time and she wanted a private funeral and that's what she got. She wanted my mum there, me and my brother and that's what she got Her and my grandpa's song played. Just as she wanted

She died very suddenly and said family who hadn't bothered with her for years were unhappy that they weren't there and haven't spoken to us since

But that was her wishes and it was important to us that they were respected

I'm not religious but when I die I don't want fuss or bother but I want my funeral the way I want it

It does matter to me what happens to my body after I die. Being a non believer doesn't mean that it doesn't.

I still want my wishes to be respected and that means the same as my gran. Private funeral. No hangers on who couldn't be bothered when I was alive.

I'll probably outlive my brother but I'd be happy if no one was at my funeral. I don't want him to be upset, he can remember me as he pleases

(for being a bossy big sis)

I agree 100%.

I have very strong views as to what I want to happen to my body once I'm dead, and although there's nothing I can do about it once I'm gone I would hate to think of my family being so utterly disrespectful by not doing as i wish. I will have failed as a mother, dauughter, wife, if they thought it was OK to just stick me in an incinerator.

Lily-Rose_3

Sorry to hijack the thread, but going back to what someone said earlier, can you actually put explicit details in writing to say you absolutely do not want a religious funeral? If so, how? Who with?

I was talking about this thread to a couple we know - she is a believer, he is not. She said they would do this, as her hubby wants no religion in his funeral, but his friend who was there at the time said the vicar calls on everyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one, and you won't have much choice with regards to the Church getting involved. He said you can have the funeral at a crem, but there will be a service from a vicar. I said surely not if it's a crem? He said 'yeah it is...' I have not been to a funeral at a crem for a decade, so can't remember who did the service.

Friend's hubby is 100% atheist, so how CAN you make sure no-one takes over and chucks religion in? and is it always a vicar that does the service?

(Sorry to sound dumb!)

Nicki

Your friend is wrong Lily Rose. You don't need anyone to officiate at a crematorium. When my dad died a few years ago stipulating no religious element at his funeral there were only the immediate family at the crematorium. It was a little chaotic with no one to coordinate things but we played some music on an MP3 player and all said a few words and that was that.

Keep_pedalling

peachyprice wrote: »

Don't be silly, atheists don't need to be part of a group to form their own beliefs on life, death, and everything in between

Well I agree it is silly, but I have been told by fundamentalists that I need more faith than a believer to think that the overwhelming scientific evidence for evelution is actually true, or that the universe is billions of years old.

The religious right in the US are particularly silly in this aspect and are always painting us as being members of a relegion.

peachyprice

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Sorry to hijack the thread, but going back to what someone said earlier, can you actually put explicit details in writing to say you absolutely do not want a religious funeral? If so, how? Who with?

I was talking about this thread to a couple we know - she is a believer, he is not. She said they would do this, as her hubby wants no religion in his funeral, but his friend who was there at the time said the vicar calls on everyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one, and you won't have much choice with regards to the Church getting involved. He said you can have the funeral at a crem, but there will be a service from a vicar. I said surely not if it's a crem? He said 'yeah it is...' I have not been to a funeral at a crem for a decade, so can't remember who did the service.

Friend's hubby is 100% atheist, so how CAN you make sure no-one takes over and chucks religion in? and is it always a vicar that does the service?

(Sorry to sound dumb!)

Anyone can stand up and speak at a non-religious funeral, it's up to to the family whether they want to do it themselves or have an outsider, like someone from the Humanist society to speak, or indeed have nobody speaking at all, you just have to tell the crem.

I think the church seem to step in at the suggestion of the crem, particularly if it's an older person with very few family members, but it's certainly in no way compulsory, you friend is very wrong indeed.