Family cant afford Christmas

seven-day-weekend

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think you are projecting a bit here. Children who come from less well off families know that as they will have seen their parents struggle all the time not just xmas. It is not cruel to teach them that some people are richer than others. Comparing xmas gifts is the tip of the iceberg. School trips, birthday parties, holidays are all ways kids can compare their situations.

I don't think kids weigh up the cost of their Christmas gifts against others or certainly mine didn't. They received presents we could afford and had budgeted for throughout the year when we had a very limited income. Now adults they recall family games, all getting together etc and not the material gifts which I think is the real point of Christmas.

I think the crux of the matter is should you buy expensive gifts for children when you can't afford it so they are not unhappy comparing their lot with kids with better off parents. Keeping up with the Joneses is something we actively discouraged as it just sets kids up for a lifetime of disappointment. There will always be people in a better position. That is real life.

Great post, agree absolutely.

Poor_Single_lady

I think you may have misinterpreted by post. Somebody else said what I was trying to say better than I did a bit later on.

I never used the world cruel and slightly feel you are placing words in my mouth here. I think this is maybe a bit mean to honest.

LilElvis

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I don't think kids weigh up the cost of their Christmas gifts against others or certainly mine didn't.

And when they're very young they have absolutely zero concept of cost. My 6 year old is only just beginning to "get it" now that her maths skills are developing. Certainly a few months ago she wouldn't have had any comprehension that one toy she was looking at cost 20 times the price as the other one she absolutely must have. This morning she's had as much fun playing with a £1 hoolahoop from Poundland as an £80 lego rollercoaster construction set :rotfl:

Poor_Single_lady

To be clear you seem to have interpreted my post as a blanket complaint about how some people are richer than others.
No this is not what I meant. I agree some people are richer than others and no complaints here.

My point was imagine a situation in real life where a real life child in a normal school is living a life with lots of love but No Christmas presents at all. Yes as adults it's no big deal but imagine if you are 7 in the 2016.

I don't know what you mean by projecting. I never had Christmas without either presents Or love but some people I know did and I know this is damaging.

To be clear I'm not saying spend all your money or go into debt (thought this went without saying). I'm just saying don't leave children present-less on Christmas Day.

enthusiasticsaver

LilElvis wrote: »

And when they're very young they have absolutely zero concept of cost. My 6 year old is only just beginning to "get it" now that her maths skills are developing. Certainly a few months ago she wouldn't have had any comprehension that one toy she was looking at cost 20 times the price as the other one she absolutely must have. This morning she's had as much fun playing with a £1 hoolahoop from Poundland as an £80 lego rollercoaster construction set :rotfl:

That is so true. We used to do one larger present under the tree from us which could cost anything from £2- £30 depending on how broke we were. One year we got a second hand Barbie house with furniture and it was huge in size but cost us less than a tenner and gave it to both our girls. Their stockings from Father Xmas usually contained a few cheap toys(sometimes bought in charity shops or second hand) a book, a selection box, a puzzle or game and a few little things like new socks or hair clips. Never expensive so even the poorest parents with a bit of forward planning should be able to manage that.

enthusiasticsaver

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

To be clear you seem to have interpreted my post as a blanket complaint about how some people are richer than others.
No this is not what I meant. I agree some people are richer than others and no complaints here.

My point was imagine a situation in real life where a real life child in a normal school is living a life with lots of love but No Christmas presents at all. Yes as adults it's no big deal but imagine if you are 7 in the 2016.

I don't know what you mean by projecting. I never had Christmas without either presents Or love but some people I know did and I know this is damaging.

To be clear I'm not saying spend all your money or go into debt (thought this went without saying). I'm just saying don't leave children present-less on Christmas Day.

I would also rather all children had presents for Christmas and I actually don't know anyone who didn't get at least one so I must have led a more sheltered life. I think no matter how poor you are it is possible to plan for Xmas and put aside a few pounds every month to make sure your child has something to unwrap. It is when you talk of children comparing presents and the cost at school that I start to feel as a general rule kids don't do that. Maybe teenagers.

If you are saying that all kids should have a present at Xmas I don't disagree but primarily it is down to parents and extended family to provide this. Some are rubbish parents no doubt and could not care less and if we lived in a perfect world this wouldn't happen. Sadly we don't.

Proxima_Centauri

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

It is when you talk of children comparing presents and the cost at school that I start to feel as a general rule kids don't do that. Maybe teenagers.

I can remember at junior school, the kids sitting round the dining table comparing what presents they'd got. One girl got a £200 computer from her parents (a small fortune back then!)

This was about age 10-11. I wouldn't be surprised if children much younger than that have bragfests about their Christmas presents nowadays

seven-day-weekend

How about this for traumatising your child : We gave our son an IOU once for his Christmas present.


















(He was 12 at the time, we had explained beforehand why he was getting an IOU, he had small presents off us and large ones from his Grandparents. He was able to 'cash in' his IOU for the thing he wanted which was half price in the January sales. He was quite happy about this and found it quite amusing.)

Pollycat

A very astute 12 year old. 7DW.:T

seven-day-weekend

Pollycat wrote: »

A very astute 12 year old. 7DW.:T

He was usually very sensible when things were explained to him. Pragmatic, like his mum